Confessions of an Ad-Man IX
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By Dave Foreman, Journalist






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  • More from author
    -  Confessions of an Ad-man XII: Consumers in Search of Service
    -  Confessions of an Ad-man XI: More Dueling With Mother Nature
    -  Confessions of an Ad-Man X
    -  Confessions of an Ad-Man IX
    -  Confessions of an Ad-Man VII: Commercial ends up in the air instead of on the air

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    “Fix it in the lab,” someone said. Fix it in the lab, was agency speak for “whatever stupid mistake we’ve made we can always have it airbrushed or re-touched or altered by some other photographic hocus pocus, after the film (stills or movies) has been processed, or while it is being processed.” That was far too simple. Instead, we trucked in 300 bags of cement (dry, of course) and spread them around, not giving a thought to the fact that the cement company might be a tad annoyed at finding their sand was no longer just sand, but a non-scientific mix of sand and concrete powderI think, although my memory has been known to sabotage me, that it may have even been a competitor’s brand of concrete. The result though, was a far more realistic duplication of a moonscape according to National Geographic and our art director.

    I believe the ultimate slap in Mother Nature's face was delivered during the photo shoot for a soap ad. It was a very gentle period in our history so no one would have dreamt of using a picture of someone bathing unless the model (always female of course) was totally obscured by soap bubbles, except for the area from the bridge of her nose to the top of her head. Even then, some group would probably have called it erotic or titillating and we all know photos like that are major contributors to mortal sin, especially when seen by thirteen year old boys.

    So our soap ad was, naturally, a man with his wife and daughter, walking through a forest in the sunshine. They were all VERY clean, a fact that was liberally sprinkled throughout the soporific copy.

    The setup took about three hours, waiting for the light to be right, using a ton of make-up on the models to make them look “clean” and setting up all the angles. Of course, we had to take at least fifteen shots. That’s actually five shots using a photographic technique called bracketing. Bracketing is a technique devised by photographers to compensate for the fact that they really don’t understand all those numbers on light meters, and also add to the billable hours. They take the shot, then another, slightly darker, then another, slightly brighter. Almost always, one of the three will be useable.

    Once we were all set up and ready to shoot, the art director began stroking his chin. This was, to the rest of us, about the same as a fire alarm or a rumble of thunder in the distance.

    Then he spoke: “The leaves are the wrong color.”

    “They’re green. What’s the matter with green leaves?”

    “It’s the wrong color green.”

    “But it’s the green that they ARE. They’re leaves, green leaves.”

    Believe it or not, we all stood around, all meaning three models, an account executive, the art director and the photographer, while the photographer’s assistant found a hardware store and bought a can of green spray paint. Then I swear to you on my grandmother’s grave, we spray painted the leaves. It is important to note that the art director did not supervise the choosing of the paint color.

    Creativity however was served. The ad was shot and turned out well. The people looked clean in spite of all that make-up and the sun shone beautifully on the freshly painted leaves. I don’t know whether or not the painted bush survived.

    I hope it did. I really do.




    AUTHOR: Dave Foreman

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