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-	Confessions of an Ad-man XII: Consumers in Search of Service
-	Confessions of an Ad-man XI: More Dueling With Mother Nature
-	Confessions of an Ad-Man X
-	Confessions of an Ad-Man IX
-	Confessions of an Ad-Man VII: Commercial ends up in the air instead of on the air

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The client then said, “We plan to scatter the ashes from a plane, over the prairies. It’s environmentally friendly, dignified and most important, brand new. It may be the greatest thing to hit the funeral business since cremation itself.”

I choked and only with the greatest difficulty, managed to avoid spewing coffee out of my nose. Then I made it worse. I spoke. “Right,” I snickered. “We could come up with a neat slogan like, Throw Momma from the Plane – and Daddy too. Or maybe we could get the plane to sky-write the dead guy’s name.”

The potential client slammed his briefcase shut and rose from his chair, turning to the creative director. I’ll call you,” he snapped. Then he stormed out.

“That guy wasn’t serious, was he?” I asked after the echoing of the slamming boardroom door had died down. I mean, some farmer is out on his field and Uncle George’s ashes come down from a plane . . .

“Yes, he was,” said my boss between clenched teeth, “and we just gave him several reasons to take his business elsewhere. You’re new here so I’d just like to give you a couple of tips about the way we operate.” I gave him my best look of humility mixed with contriteness.

“In this agency,” he went on, “the writer sits in the briefing session and listens attentively. Then, he respectfully asks questions for clarification, making sure that they aren’t stupid questions.” His voice became harsher and a lot louder. “THE WRITER’S JOB IS NOT TO DRIVE POTENTIAL CLIENTS FROM THE GODDAMN BUILDING.”

He placed his hand on my shoulder and spoke softly, menacingly. “Try very hard to remember that. I don’t want to have to say it again.” Then he got up and strode out.

As I sat alone in the board room, I opined that the morning so far had not gone all that well. There was an upside though. I had learned something. I had learned that one should really pay attention to all prospective clients – even the crazy ones. What sounded like lunacy to me, could have resulted in The Agency doing what it did best – sending out invoices.

I went back to my desk and decided to check out the condition of my resume. Just in case.