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There are certain advantages to living alone in the town of Mount Perry, Florida. Not the least of which is the selection of a house pet. On a recent trip to the big city I visited a pet store and bought a snake. It was a neat little snake with pretty markings but it was hungry all the time. Of course, being a snake it didn’t bark, meow or whine to let me know of its hunger. It just sat there in my old fish tank sticking its tongue out at me.



As time went by, my little snake began to grow. It seemed such a waste to feed this snake and get nothing back for my effort. I decided to train my snake to perform some useful function around the house. Naturally, anything requiring the use of hands or feet was out of the question. If I wanted something with hands and feet I’d have to return the snake and get a lizard.

Unfortunately, I had reached this conclusion too late. The snake was now my buddy and I was destined to take care of my skinny little friend for life. Dragging a chair into the room with the fish tank in it, I sat down to contemplate my dilemma. What could one do with a pet snake? This was indeed a vexing question.

I carefully lifted the snake out of the tank and let it crawl around in my lap. It found a nice warm spot, curled up and went to sleep. At least I think it was asleep, it never closed it’s eyes. Then it occurred to me. If the snake never closed it’s eyes even when it slept, it would make an ideal watch snake for my little store. My problem was solved. Now all that remained was to teach the snake to attack on command.

In looking at my little buddy, I thought it was a bit on the skinny side to be truly ferocious looking. I was going to have to find some way to “Pump Up” my little snake before it would be considered truly formidable. Obviously the first step was a change in diet.

On my very next trip to the big city, I stopped at a health food store and picked up a large can of high protein dietary supplement. At first the little snake resisted this change but it wasn’t long before my little friend realized I wasn’t to be trifled with. Consumption of the dietary supplement was no longer a daily struggle and my skinny little buddy began to “Flesh Out”.

Next I addressed the question of exercise. I watched as other residents of Mount Perry, walked their dog, cat, lizard or alligator on a leash. I would have to follow their lead in kind. Regular exercise would convert that fleshed out look into solid muscle. Fashioning a collar and leash from an old belt, I also began walking my snake right along with the rest of the pet owners. Naturally, this new activity was met with some limited resistance from my ordinarily sedentary snake. At first the snake resisted my efforts here as well as with the new diet. However, it wasn’t long before the snake realized I was just as adamant about this as I had been about the diet. In time the snake even began to enjoy these walks, straining at the leash and forcing me to walk faster to keep up with it.

I put some bars and weights in the old fish tank so the snake could hang from them and lift specially made weights with its tail. My snake soon bulged with huge muscles from end to end. My snake was obviously ready to begin training as an attack snake. I put a mirror at one end of the fish tank and showed the snake how to strike at its own reflection then dodge away before the strike hit the mirror. The snake took to this exercise like a fish to water. In no time at all I had a snake that could strike at its own reflection and get away before the strike hit the mirror nine times out of ten.