More from author
-	The Titanic Effect...And The Criminal Justice System
-	Striking Back At Terrorism By Extortion
-	The New American Witch Hunt
-	Presumption of Innocence Denied In Virginia
-	A Supreme Court For the Religious Right? Not If We Can Prevent It!

See news about

activism AKP Al Yamamah alcoholism treatment Angelina Jolie BAE Systems Bill Murray bizarre news BRIT Awards Buick car crash Celebrity Commonwealth Bank Series Cricket Demi Moore extradition formula one France Gambhir genocide geri Halliwell headlines single Health Care Commission Heather Mills Hutu Hyperinflation Impeachment James Earl Katie Holmes Kylie Minogue Mika military tribunal MRSA Mugabe music Pakistan Pakistan Tour Paris Hilton Politics Ponting Prince Harry and Chelsy Rod Stewart Saudi Arabia SCG Secularists security Serious Fraud Office Sienna Miller Stockholm Syndrome Symonds terrorism The Huff Tim Burton Tutsi usic Victoria Beckham Victoria Beckham nude Yves Leterme00710 Worst Nude Film Scenes2nd amendment50 Cent50-Centa-teamA-Team movieABBAAbbie CornishAbi TitmussAbigail BreslinAcademy AwardsaccidentsAdam SandleraddictionsAdeleAdnan GhalibAfghanistanAfton SmithAgyness DeynAir IndiaAishwarya RaiAl GoreAl Pacinoal QaedaAl-QaedaAlan ArkinAlan RickmanAlanis MorisseteAlanis MorissetteAlbert Einsteinalcoholalcohol addictionalcoholismAlec BaldwinAlesha DixonAlex TurnerAlexandriaAli CampbellAli LarterAlicia KeysAlicia SilverstoneAllahAlli SimsAmanda HoldenAmanda PeetAmanda SeyfriedAmazonAmelle BerrabahAmerican IdolAmerican PieAmy AdamsAmy RyanAmy WinehouseAmy Winehouse is planning a massive Christmas bingAnatole TaubmannAndhraAndrew MortonAndy HilfigerAndy SerkisAng LeeAngela MerkelAngelina Jolieanimal rightsAnjelica HustonAnna NicoleAnna Nicole SmithAnne HathawayAnnie LennoxAnthony HopkinsAnthony MinghellaAnti-IconAntonio BanderasAppleArctic MonkeysAretha FranklinAri SandelArmaniArnieArnold SchwarzeneggerArpad BussonAshantiAshely TisdaleAshlee SimpsonAshley ColeAshley JuddAshley OlsenAshley TisdaleAshton KutcherAsif Ali ZardariAsley OlsenAssamastronautAtonementAtonement\'Audrey HepburnAustraliaAvril LavigneAyda FieldBabelbabyBackstairs BillyBackstreet Boysbad influencesBaftaBaghdadBalticBangladeshBar RafaeliBar RefaeliBarack ObamaBarry ManilowBasraBattlestar GalacticaBBCBeatlesbeauty pageantBeckhambecome news reporterBeethovenBelgiumBen AffleckBenazirBenazir assassinationBenazir BhuttoBenazir Bhutto assassinationBenazir Bhutto photosBenazir Bhutto stampsBenazir Bhutto willBenezir Bhutto assassinationBeowulfBernardo BertolucciBest ActressBest Dressed in 2007best haircutbest motorcycle movie momentsbest moviesBeth DittoBethlehemBette MidlerBeverly Hills 90210BeyonceBeyoncé KnowlesBeyonc¨¦ KnowlesBilawal ZardarBilawal ZardariBill GatesBillie PiperBillionaireBilly JoelBilly Zanebinge drinkingBipasha Basubird fluBismarckBizarre NewsBjorkBlack CrowesBlack Eyed PeasBlake FielderBlake Fielder CivilBlake Fielder-CivilBlaze Media ProblogbloggerbloggingBlurBMWBo DerekBob DylanBobby BrownBollywoodbombBon JoviBondBond 22Bond girlBond girlsBonoBoratBotoxBoy GeorgeBrad PittBrad RenfroBrainBrandon RouthBrandyBrazilbrazil prisonbread thievesBrendan FraserBrian MayBrian McFaddenBrian WilliamsBridget JonesBridget MoynahanBRIT AwardsBritish royal familyBritish Secret IntelligenceBritney SpearBritney SpearsBritney Spears adoptionBritney Spears body doubleBritney Spears lawyerBritney Spears psychological evaluationBritsBrittany MurphyBrooke ShieldsBruce LeeBruce SpringsteenBruce WillisBruneiBryan AdamsBuckingham Palacebulletproof vestBushBusta RhymesCairoCalista FlockhartCalvin KleinCameron DiazCameron MackintosCamila AlvesCamillaCanadaCanada¡¯s Juno AwardscancercannabisCannesCannes Film FestivalCapri Hollywood Film FestivalCarey HartCarla Bruni-SarkozyCarmen ElectraCarmit BacharCaroline KennedyCarrie UnderwoodCasablancaCasey AffleckCasey AldridgeCash WarrenCasio keyboard

 

In the February issue of PARENTING Magazine, their “Second Time Around” article is adding more fuel to the fire of a growing “only versus multiple” parenting debate.

As a mom of one by choice and the moderator and participant in several online support groups for “done after one” moms, I have to wonder why PARENTING and similar publications are feeling the need to push the “two is better” argument so hard. After all, if having two children is as easy as they want us to believe, why are more mothers choosing to stop at one lately?

When my friends and I were growing up in the late fifties, two was the minimum number of children for parents, expanding to three or even four. In my mother’s generation, having one child was unheard of, and in the rare cases it did, it was due to unhappy circumstances. But, as Susan Newman’s book Parenting An Only Child notes, “the tide has shifted and swelled in the direction of, and in favor of, the only child”. Newman also points out that “studies done in the 1990's offer further confirmation, some of it startling, that only children fare extremely well.” Armed with such strong and comforting knowledge, having an only child is occurring more often by choice than by chance, freeing women from the guilt they used to face for their one-child decision.

Several of the moms in my forums feel as I do that the information provided in “Second Time Around” is misleading. For my own part, there were several points in this article that I have strong disagreement with. One mother of two stated, “in talking with other moms, many of whom are just having their second, I’m relieved to say that the fears you have when you’re pregnant with the second are often out of proportion to two-kid realities.” Often, but not always. So what happens when the fears a mom may have with the second materialize, and are even worse than she expected? The information on this question is sadly lacking.

Another quote that raises my eyebrows is, “the most surprising side of parenting two kids is how day-to-day issues get easier.” Really. In my experience with moms of two or more children, the day-to-day issues look to be much harder, especially when the older child is between eighteen months and two years old and mom has the challenge of looking after a baby and a toddler. It certainly doesn’t look easier to me, to try and keep one hand on the toddler while trying to push baby’s stroller. Some moms just tell their older children to “hold on to the stroller,” but that is usually easier said than done. Especially when the toddler gets bored with hanging onto baby’s stroller and would prefer to play or explore the park or playground. In my earlier days with my then-toddler-age son, it wasn’t uncommon for me to see upset moms trying to chase their energetic toddlers and two-year-olds while having to keep one eye on the stroller as well. All I could feel was relief that I only had one child to chase after.

One mother of two believes that when the older child can be enlisted as an aide, “many of the parenting problems you had with one might disappear with two.” They might. Then again, they might not. It is also very likely that the problems you had with one child might turn out to be a walk in the park compared with the new ones you could have with two kids. That possibility isn’t considered either. And although it is generally expected that the