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In the years since moving to Mount Perry, Florida, I have driven many hundreds of miles both with my little family and alone. Now, as a well traveled person, I consider myself reasonably familiar with the various snack foods available along the roadside. Among these various culinary delights is the ever present Diesel Beer Ice Cream.

This particular flavor is emblazoned in foot-high letters on the sides of the many fast food stores and gas stations along the roadside everywhere I went. The only variation was the addition of the words "Hand Dipped" after Ice Cream. This had to be something special in order to rate such a great amount of advertising, yet I’d never tried it.

I made up my mind to try this culinary delight the very next time I saw the advertisement on the side of a building. Being diabetic, this is not a decision I made lightly. Ice Cream in any flavor is a big “No, No.” for diabetics, yet I just had to try it.



It wasn’t long before I found Diesel Beer Ice Cream splashed in big red letters on the side of one of my favorite gasoline stops on the way to Tallahassee. Painted in big red letters on the side of the building was, “DIESEL BEER ICE CREAM”, a picture of an ice cream cone and the words, “HAND DIPPED”.



It was time to try the stuff. Entering the store, everything looked quite normal. I looked around for the Ice Cream case. The Ice Cream freezer was right next to the check out counter. I searched each tub for the words DIESEL BEER but this particular flavor was nowhere to be found. I found Cherry, Vanilla, Chocolate and a variety of others but no Diesel Beer.



After a judicious search I asked the attendant where the Diesel Beer Ice Cream was? He looked at me strangely and said, “Wh what?”

I repeated myself, “Where is the Diesel Beer Ice Cream?”



The man behind the counter looked at me with outright fear in his eyes. He stammered on,”We don’t have any Diesel Beer Ice Cream.”



No one was going to cheat me out of a taste of this new flavor. Leaning over the counter toward him I said, “You advertise Hand Dipped Diesel Beer Ice Cream on the outside of your building. I came all the way in here to try some. You advertize this flavor, here’s my money, I WANT SOME!”



The man behind the counter looked extremely nervous as he said, “We have Diesel, we have beer and we have Ice Cream. What is it you want?”



Leaning ever closer I repeated into his face, “That’s right, I want Diesel Beer Ice Cream. You don’t have the flavor in the Ice Cream Case, BUT I WANT SOME.”



The man behind the counter seemed to be fidgeting with some sort of button under the counter, but I was not to be put off. I repeated loudly, “You advertised Diesel Beer Ice Cream and that’s what I want. I want a Hand Dipped Diesel Beer Ice Cream Cone with two scoops.”



The man behind the counter now backed away from me and seemed to pale under my relentless scrutiny. He stammered on, “But we don’t have any Diesel Beer Ice Cream, anywhere in our store. There is no such flavor. Honest, we have nothing even close to Diesel Beer Ice Cream, anywhere in the store.”