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In order for one to appreciate my dilemma, one must first understand that I hate spiders. Not just some spiders, but all spiders. I think somehow the spiders hate me back. They seem to always be there when I least expect them and they always get in at least one good bite before I dispatch them. Because of this, I dispatch them in the most gruesome way possible.

It was about a year ago when I first noticed a spider had built a web in the corner of the doorway of our shop, The Mount Perry Office Supply Company, in Mount Perry, Florida. Not a big web, mind you, just a small corner kind of thing. It was just low enough to get me full in the face every morning when I passed through the doorway as I opened my shop for business. With this in mind, I placed a curtain rod near the doorway. First thing in the morning I destroyed the web when I opened the door. This assures me I won’t walk into the web any more during the day.

This spider, however, was determined to make its web right there in the doorway, no matter how many times I destroyed the thing. Obviously, the spider and I were destined to cross curtain rod and web in a duel to the death, like the speeders sentenced to be paired in the Mount Perry Sports Stadium and Gladiatorial Arena. This was fine with me. I don’t take my hatred of spiders lightly.

At first I thought that the spider must be a huge thing because each day the web was back right in the same place as the day before. The spider just had to be a large, hairy, crawly-looking poisonous spider. Let me clarify this; to me all spiders are crawly, hairy and very poisonous. Lately I noticed the web seemed stronger. The web resisted the curtain rod a little more each day. In my mind’s eye I reasoned the spider was getting bigger. Yet where could such a huge spider live around that doorway. The door was brand new, and I had been very careful to seal everything around the frame, so no air could seep into the shop when it was closed.

I was determined to find some answers. I left the shop closed one morning and prepared to do a systematic search of the doorway. If the spider was there, I was determined to find and dispatch the thing. On close examination, I found there was a narrow space between the door frame and the steel drip edge I had placed over the wooden part of the frame. The spider just had to live in there. It was a very small space for the huge spider I imagined to be living in there.