Dating a friend
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Hmm... / Relationships

By Siim Einfeldt, World of Ed-In-Chief


O
ne of the most difficult issues concerning dating is dating a friend. There's a girl who you have known for years already. She's nice every step of the way. She's smart, she's beautiful, she's fun to talk to. And at some point you find yourself in a situation where you'd really like to learn to know her in a bit more intimate level.


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One of the most difficult issues concerning dating is dating a friend. There's a girl whom you have known for years already. She's nice every step of the way. She's smart, she's beautiful, and she's fun to talk to. And at some point you find yourself in a situation where you'd really like to learn to know her on a bit more intimate level.

Easy?

Considering the most logical theory which says that it's always easier to talk to someone whom you already know, dating a friend should not be a problem whatsoever. You know her, she knows you. You know what she likes, what she might enjoy, and you even know that she likes you for what you are. Why else would you be friends?

First date

But if you start to actually think about it, it's a lot more complicated than it seemed at first glance. What if she says no? It's rather painless to be told off by a girl who you have just met at the pub. As it comes to friends - good friends - it isn't that painless anymore. Even getting a yes from her might hurt in some cases. I'll come to that in a moment. Why is it difficult to approach your female friend? It's the fact that one way or another you'll want to keep her friendship, and her good opinion of you, and the good atmosphere while doing something together. If she hears that you are interested in her that way and if she definitely does not feel the same way, she might start to avoid you completely. That's the theory anyway, and I think you will agree that this is one of the worst scenarios.

What if she says yes?

If she says yes, you can applaud yourself for a job well-done. At least, that's so, usually. However, there's a difference between yes and yes. The first one might mean that "yes, I feel the same way, I'm actually totally into you, too" while the other 'yes' might actually mean "yes, I'll go out with you just this once, I can't say no just not yet. We're too good friends and I really don't want to hurt your feelings...yet." So do keep an eye on her face while making the move. Whether it's a kiss you're trying to steal from her on the dance floor or a moment of truth while trying to ask her out for the very first time.

The author of this article actually doesn't know a jack about this topic. But as he happens to be the owner of the magazine, then graphomania is allowed. Read, think and comment on the topic.

Continued On Next Page (friend, Page 2) ...


AUTHOR: Siim Einfeldt

TAGS: Relationships                           

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Zak




Zak says on 2008-09-21 20:04:48 about experience
I have to say its not just about ego. I did have the courage to ask out my friend and I got the later of the two responses mentioned in the article."Wow, your really sweet and I think I could give it a try" was the exact words... a week later she say "Your a really nice guy but I didn't feel anything". Im okay with all of that but now she is completely avoiding and I even tried to talk to her but to no avail. Now that is what really bugs the hell out of me. Looking for a reply.






Jax




Jax says on 2006-08-04 15:01:31 about
My guy friend just worked up the courage to ask me out. It was sweet but funny too. He asked my bestfriend if I was interested in him and then she told me he'd asked. He and I both laughed about how "highschool" it was and that we never thought we'd be doing this at this age. So it was light-hearted. Worked for me :)






Crystal




Crystal says on 2004-12-22 22:37:11 about
There is so such thing as "begging for love" and "no self-respect" whatsoever. If you like a girl, just tell her. For God's sake, act like a man! Girls don't really like to play games in guessing, contrary to normal lore. What I just see from this article is that men have big egos and are not willing to put their egos on the line in chasing a girl. That's so wrong. When you like a girl, the whole point is to put your ego on the line, isn't it? I hate men's egos









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