When I see a face I dislike,

It matters not the intentions or the actions.

I just see an ugly face,

I would love to slap it!

I have the urge to tap fat girls on the head,

Shoot them with a rubber band,

Poke them and squeeze them,

For spoiling the beauty of my eyes.

Slim girls who are obedient are my likes,

The ones whom I think I have deceived,

But who always believe in me,

Are the ones closest to my heart.

For they trust me no matter what,

Despite me being wanton and knocking around town,

They readily hear my lies,

This my ideal home.

A man must have control,

A home is his castle,

Work is already so tiring,

So I need a peaceful home.

I want a wife who looks nice to my eyes,

At the end of a hard day's work,

Be trustworthy and docile,

This I call a home.

Street smart women are only shrews,

May they be left on the shelves!

I have to deal with them in office already,

Curses be on them!

A girl must have nice mannerisms,

Sit properly,

Eat less, exercise more,

This I love.

We men are really simple creatures,

This we want women to believe,

Those who can see through us,

Are the ones that freak us out.

Just a slim and docile girl,

Who will cook for us and make a home,

Is this too much to ask,

From a simple Singaporean Chinese male?