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Not long after A.A. was founded in Idea Number One: Unity of purpose. A self-help group exists for only one primary purpose: to help the addict achieve abstinence and develop a rewarding life. The time and energy of the group must go exclusively to this individual work. It’s what it does very well. The list of things the group cannot do well and should not attempt is long. A twelve step group is not primarily a social club although it can improve social skills. It is not a place to get a loan, buy a car, find a job, or pick up a soul mate. It is not designed to change or educate society. All these missions may be worthy causes, but there are better ways of doing them and organizations better equipped for those tasks. Idea Number Two: Living with an authority. One of the most difficult tasks for the addict is the subjugation of individual will—the big ego—to the power of some higher authority such as the wisdom of the group. The original A.A. traditions spoke of a loving God as the ultimate authority. The idea was that this mystical authority would express itself in what the called group conscious. The collective wisdom of the peer group usually is, in fact, superior to the judgment of the individual addict. Difficult as that may be to admit, it almost always is true. We can argue about where that wisdom comes from, but does it matter so long as the member is willing and able to bend personal will to the voice of the group? The group, and the group’s consensus or conscious, becomes all the higher power we need to get things going in the right direction. Religious language should be avoided so that each member can decide on a personal higher power. The second A.A. tradition also spoke of group leaders being trusted servants who do not govern. There is, perhaps, a group secretary and a treasurer who keeps track of donations and buys the literature they distribute, but there is never a president, chief executive officer, or central decision maker. There isn’t even a permanent chairperson since, in many groups; members take turns leading the meetings. All problems are group problems to be solved by discussing and consensus. A self-help group must be a true democracy. Idea Number Three: Open Membership. Membership is open without reservation to any addict with the desire to stop using and, I would add, who can conform to basic standards of social conduct. Problems emerge when certain people attend infrequently and then pretend to be experts. Other people will take as much time as possible for personal stories causing the chair person to use the gavel and limit the time each may speak. Foul and abusive language can cause big problems. In very rare cases, the group my have to call in civil authorities to control violent or obnoxious members. Most groups tolerate members who are still using, and even those who may come to meetings intoxicated or high on some drug so long as that person does not disrupt a meeting. Coming intoxicated to a meeting is to be discouraged, of course, since little can be learned in such a condition. The big problem is, of course, asking a chairperson to impose order, something many recovering people find very hard to do. This is certainly a time for tough love. There are no age, sex, financial, race, educational or religious standards to be met, although is may be possible to create special age defined criteria since young people may gain more in a group of peers. Usually, the goal of a group is total abstinence, and so the old phrase desire to stop is incompatible with the goal of moderate use. Not that moderation is impossible for many, but if someone states that as a personal goal, conflict and argument are almost sure to follow in an abstinence-oriented program. Group unity will suffer, and so the person with a desire to continue moderate use of an addictive should be referred to a program that advertises that as a goal. Membership is never extended to non-addicts although there may be so-called open meetings at which curious members of the news media as well as students, health care providers and even family members may attend with the appropriate caution to respect anonymity. Idea Number Four: Group autonomy. Other than the organization’s approved literature, there is no central authority that governs different meetings. If there is a central office, as there is in Alcoholics Anonymous and Gamblers Anonymous, it serves mostly as a provider of information and literature to different groups and to the interested public. A central office may also plan and organized regional and national meetings. Individual meetings contribute funds from time to time for the support of a central office. Sometimes there is an elected board of trustees which deliberates problems that affect all meetings and approves any needed changes in program literature. Always, however, the central office volunteers serve as trusted servants, not as rulers and never with a profit motive. Idea Number Five: Limited purpose. The wording of the original Fifth Tradition talked of carrying the message of hope to the addict (alcoholic) who still suffers. Addictions in the past were regarded as hopeless problems from which people seldom recovered. The fact that there are groups of people who are, in fact, successfully abstemious does inspire hope for many beaten down addicts. When William Wilson reached his bottom, he desperately wanted to talk to another alcoholic knowing that another addict would understand and, through that understanding, be able to offer at least a sympathetic acceptance. So, that’s basically what groups do, they provide an understanding audience for the addict who needs to tell his or her story but does not want the usual lecture and ineffective advice. This tradition speaks of carrying the message to other addicts, not to the world or to newspapers, families, people on the street, or to any outside groups. It is definitely not a call for crusading, evangelistic preaching. Idea Number Six: A spiritual program. The basic belief is that a radical change in thinking—call it a spiritual recovery, if you like—is basic to abstinence and personal growth. Any material or worldly focus will distract from that effort. The group does nothing outside the group except, possibly, something that promotes the recovery an individual member. The group does not endorse, fund or sponsor any outside activity. It takes no position on anything such as politics, financing, or business. Idea Number Seven: Group independence. Each group is financially independent and takes no funds from any outside source. Although a collection may be taken at each meeting, donations are never required of members. In fact, if the group is using donated space in a church or public library, it may decide to offer a small donation to the landlord. Idea Number Eight: The group as non-professional. There are no special privileges and no payments to group officers. From time to time professional counselors may turn up at meetings seeking clients, and they should be politely asked to leave unless they are there for their own recovery. Even members of religious orders should attend in civilian clothing. Titles such as Doctor and Reverend should not be used. If a self-help group is attached to a professional treatment program, as may happen if the meeting uses space provided by a treatment facility, professional staff, if they attend the meetings, should do so as recovering addicts for their own sake, not a therapists or patient supervisors. Outside professionals have no authority in a self-help group. Idea Number Nine: Service boards or committees are directly responsible to those they serve. A service board exists to serve, and for no other reason. Sometimes, outside groups and schools ask for speakers, and a service board might arrange this. News media often seek information. Home interventions may be planned. Many demands may be placed on a self-help group, and the need to deal with problems can arise from within and without of the group. But, there is no general government. Idea Number Ten: Neutrality on all outside issues. The self-help group never takes a firm stand on any issue not directly related to the needs of it members. It never endorses products, never takes money from outside donors, does not back political candidates, favors no particular religion, and so forth. Unity and focus are easily ruined by controversy over outside issues, so they are scrupulously avoided. Idea Number Eleven: Attraction rather than promotion. Meetings are announced, often in newspapers and bulletin boards, but there is no hard selling and no crusading for new members. Groups are usually very tolerant and welcome so-called backsliders when they choose to return. This tradition is based on the important idea that recovery is a choice; it cannot be forced on others. The group makes the outside world aware of it presence in terms of meeting times and places, and that’s all. The rest is up to the practicing addict. Idea Number Twelve: Anonymity is spirituality. Shame has nothing to do with belonging to a twelve step self-help group. Most members have little to hide anyway since most of the important people in life are painfully familiar with what addiction has done to their loved one. Those who do not know about a person’s addiction problem don’t need to know, so it is almost never necessary to talk about membership to outsiders. Beyond that, anonymity is based on humility. Over the years of working with addicts, I frequently heard comments such as, “I’m going to tell you a story that… will knock your socks off… will be worth publishing… would make a great movie… will top anything you’ve heard…” Such boasting is ego talking. After hearing one horror story after another over the years, they all start sounding the same—horrible, but all very similar, except the details. My advice is to tell your story to the group and leave it there. One of the greatest themes in all of literature is the story of death and redemption. Yes, we need to hear the downfall and ruin part, but what is most important and often neglected is the redemption part, the return to or first discovery of normal living. # AUTHOR: Julian I. Taber, Ph.D. TAGS: Life addiction addictions people world Life america Politics Love Family government BOOKMARK: Digg it | Add to Del.ICIO | Add to FARK ACTIONS: Comment Save Print Register free acount |



