“For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile”-1 Peter 3:10

Some people say you can’t get too much of a good thing. On most things I tend to agree with that philosophy. You can never get enough good college football, cheap whiskey, high end hookers, or steak. You can overdo it on these things, but it takes a lot of effort. Even if you do overdo it you may temporarily feel the bloat of excess, but while you are lying there wallowing in the decadence you can always look back fondly on the memories.

But I have altered my philosophy a bit when it comes to total free speech. Now don’t get me wrong, I still believe people have the right to do Almost anything they want. I believe that a person has the right to watch “Hairy Honey’s #18” while fingering their ass with syrup. I believe that a man has the right to go into a Waffle House and seriate his teenage wife with Willie Nelson love ballads. I believe that a person has the right to rap about a fucking set of platinum teeth if they want. However one man has made me realize that a person does not have the right to say or do whatever they damn-well please without fear of repercussion.

I have given a name to my pain, and that name is Fred Phelps. If you have been watching the news lately you have seen a horde of religious zealots called the Westboro Baptist Church, protesting at the funerals of dead U.S. soldiers. No, they aren’t there preaching that war is wrong and that we should withdraw. They are spewing all sorts of religious venom at the mourning family members declaring that God killed their son because the U.S. is a “fag enabler”. This would be a good time to insert uproarious laughter, but this is no joke my dear friends. These goddamn religious fanatics have the fucking gall to use a soldier’s funeral as a platform to preach their bullshit. If there is anything more uncivilized as disrespecting a person’s funeral you’d be hard-pressed to find it.

You may not be too concerned about their antics because you may not like homosexuals either, but their hate doesn’t just end with queers. The WBC has publicly came forward to smear the names of Matthew Shepard, Scandinavians, Cindy Sheehan, the Sago Mine victims, Coretta Scott King, and even Mr. Rogers. How in the blue hell could someone hate Mr. Rogers? That man would have taken his shoes off before entering a crack house and this scumbag wants to pick on him.

Any group that supports sex outside of the marital bed also comes under their wrath. Sodomites are one of the groups that Phelps and his acolytes hate the most. So if you have ever done a little backdoor experimentation with your girlfriend, with consent of course, then these punks think you should burn in eternal Hell. Lesbians don’t get a free pass either. Even though there is no penetration during lesbian sex the WBC gives them the same denunciation as their male counterparts. If you enjoy watching a little Sapphic lovemaking, which almost all men still producing testosterone do, then you’re the enemy as well. Even if you don’t engage in any of these activities or approve of them you are also guilty in the eyes of Phelps because you are “enabling” all of this behavior to take place by not doing anything. In their eyes we are ALL guilty; they are the only ones who are Right.

Over the years the neo-Nazi Phelps has praised everything from AIDS to Fidel Castro. He has applauded natural disasters such as hurricane Katrina as God’s way of telling us “to straighten our act up”. He is also ecstatic about the attacks of September 11th and most recently the constant stream of casualties that are coming out of Iraq. How much of a fucking idiot can one person be? Worse than that how could so many people support such a vile and despicable soul? Is there some kind of magical spell that Phelps wields over these dolts? Actually, the mind control that Phelps uses over his denomination is the most powerful and resistant cerebral tactic known to man, and his followers are chock full of it. What is it that I am referring to? Simple my dear Watson; its called ignorance.