It's really true what people say about English politeness: it's everywhere. When squeezing past someone in a narrow aisle, people say 'sorry'. When getting off a bus, English passengers say 'thank you' rather than the driver. In Germany, people would never dream of doing these things – after all, squeezing past others is sometimes inevitable, and the bus driver is merely doing his job. I used to think the same way, without questioning it, until I started travelling to the British Isles and came to appreciate some more polite ways of interacting with people.
People thank each other everywhere in England, all the time. When people buy something in a shop, customer and retail assistant in most cases thank each other two times or more. In Germany, it would be exceptional to hear more than one thank you each in such a conversation. British students thank their lecturers when leaving the room. English employers thank their employees for doing their jobs, as opposed to Germans, who would normally think that paying their workers money is already enough of a thanks.
Another thing I observed during my stay was the way English people rarely criticise others. Even when I was working and mistakes were pointed out to me, my employers emphasised several times than none of their explanations were intended as criticism. It has been my impression that by avoiding criticism, English people are making an effort to make others feel comfortable. This also showed in other ways: British men still open doors for women, and British men are more likely to treat women for a meal than German men. However, I do need to point out here that this applies to English men a bit more than it would to Scottish men! Yes, the latter are a bit tight-fisted.
Talking about differences between the English and the Scottish, I have found that Scottish people are a lot more like Germans where politeness is concerned. They tend to be more direct, and Scottish men especially are known for sometimes being very grumpy. Scots dialect even has a special word for this: 'crabbit'. Those crabbit Scottish men can be a wee bit intense, but at least no one can blame them for pretending to be polite when they don't feel like it.
This brings me back to English people, and the other side of their politeness coin. One word that tends to spring to mind here is 'artificial'. As enjoyable as it is to interact with perpetually friendly people, it has often made me wonder what the English really think. In fact, this confused me throughout my stay in their country. As everyone seemed to like me, I found it hard to understand who was really my friend and who was just being polite. I also wonder whether this whole politeness thing is actually connected to the great English love for getting drunk: this might give them a legitimate excuse for being rude once in a while!
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USA says on 2012-02-11 08:14:16 about BXKcXchlTcoSVnfjQCD
Hpleze However, the author created a cool thing..!!
Rhona says on 2011-07-19 06:47:26 about SCOTTISH MANNERS
Your comments about Scottish Manners are utter rubbish! I am born and bred scottish and I have never witnessed this so called lack of manners north of the border.
My grandmother prided herself on teaching our family good manners and would be spinning in her grave if I was 'crabbit' with someone. Scottish people are some of the most polite and friendly people in the world!
I agree with alanjon, this article really is a waste of space!
Margaret says on 2011-04-11 18:30:30 about this article:
I am English (born and raised) and never really noticed things such as queues, P's and Q's, or 'sorry's until I went to Germany for a month, and I was shocked at the change! I come from quite an upper class part of Oxford, so we still refer to strangers as 'Sir' and 'Ma'am,' but so much as one 'Entschuldigen sie' earnt me very strange looks! Madness...
mizz morgirl says on 2010-05-04 09:07:34 about polite
i wanna know the polite of the england manners
again says on 2010-02-20 15:56:15 about comment
ver good ? you can get 10/10 about this topic in terms of structure but in terms of in formation you can get just 5...and be carefull when you speak about other culture without knowing the reason which make its people behave like this or that ..Arestole said that defference is so attractive... that is to say that people differ from each other in order to give an other image and specific one about their life .. because the sameness is the character of animal not of human being ... be different you will indeed be appreciated ... and thank u any way
momy says on 2010-02-08 12:34:34 about english culture
first of all the topic is quiet good.But i want to know whether the writer should be appreciated for what he said about german or not ? actually i do not know any thing about german culture but i think these kind of ideas are just styreotypes..who knows !!! to err is human
Dell says on 2010-01-10 11:04:07 about WHAT!?
I am slightly confused as to why people are freaking out about this very personal study of the English way...Surely it is just your opinion and they should respect that. If they do not like it they do not need to read any further or leave aggressive comments...
I enjoyed this article, it was personal, from the hert and actually quite comical because i kow exactly what you are talking about. I am from England and my family are Scottish. The Scottish people do have a harsh way of talking to one another, much like the Germans.
The English used to pride themselves on their politeness and manners, but i think that culture has come to see it as weakness to be polite and appologise or say thankyou to someone for doing you a service.
I am aware that I am begining to show how the English Manners work in real situations so I will end this now! :-)
Namae says on 2009-12-13 01:56:36 about what else?
Thanking the bus drive is as much a social norm in the UK as not thanking the bus driver is in Germany. To some extent, people always conform to the social norms of the societies they're in regardless of their own personal feelings. It's plausible that plenty of German bus passengers would feel a deep sense of gratitude to the driver (especially in bad weather) for not choosing that particular day to go on strike, take a cigarette break, or catch highway hypnosis and drive the bus directly into a ditch. This gratitude would likely go unexpressed since there would be no way to know how it would be received in a society that had not 'standardized' such an exchange. Likewise a British passenger who spent the day's lunch allowance on the bus fee would probably feel less generous but still thank the driver anyway.
That said, as one who's also done some traveling abroad, I can see this article for what it is: a personal account of an important life experience and a record of first impressions. As such, I found it an entertaining read. Anyone who criticizes this as though it were a scholarly paper on the 'inherent degree of manners/superficiality expressed by different cultures' should be ashamed.
migdonia says on 2009-11-27 18:26:57 about this article
I think it was a personal experience and opinion so judje it subjectively.I am in Lonodn now and .i find myself in almost every work he said.But I did get criticized for my lack of politeness at times:D but I am learning and trying to enter their mind, study the behaviour in different situation and identify myself with the English.
good article!
J says on 2009-10-19 21:35:08 about This article.
Lets not worry too much about this article. Just ignore.
HotWoman says on 2009-10-14 21:46:57 about English culture
Being offended is English
many cultures laugh at
the English and their stupid
norms.
Let's face it other cultures
have many differences which
might offend your good
taste but hey your expectations about how
other people should speak
or act is your stupid
problem.
About being NICE, your
need to be nice belongs
to you. Sick Englishmen,
some of use just don't like
you and your moralizing.
HotWoman says on 2009-10-14 21:43:08 about English culture
Hey let's face it, the
English might be polite,
but they NO FUN and that
means DULL!
Life is about having FUN
and enjoying the self,
and the darn English are
superficial and a turn off!!! (with their constant
excuse me, and sorries
for blowing a fart.
Bob says on 2009-08-13 10:12:48 about stupidness
very stupid offensive and extreme generalisation b.t.w you said english people dont critiscise and f.y.i im english and i am critising so ha! Next time PLEASE dont generalise and for your extremly needed information the term is british not english. English besides from being a language is an ethnic group of the british isles the so called false english etiquitte that your foolish article outlines spans from south asian britons to african britons and native britians get your terminology right next time
monkey says on 2009-05-12 00:26:02 about generalisations
How can someone possibly talk about the trends of a nation without making generalisations? Would you prefer that every county, town or family be named and their tendency for politeness listed? That`s just ridiculous. I can only assume that if you take offense you are either a polite Scot or you`re one of these overly politically correct types who are causing most of the problems nowadays. Oh no, I made an assumption. Oh well. I`ll expect the police at my door any moment.
This article was brief but there is earnest effort here. If you don`t agree with what he said then there is no reason to shoot him down in such a manner. Be nice. The world is lacking so much of that nowadays... ha, by the way, I am English. It`s just common courtesy to thank a bus driver for taking you somewhere. I like to see what other people think of us. As for the drunkeness thing. I think it is more just habit now than escaping politeness. The people who drink now, only do so because their parents drank and that`s the only way people know how to behave and spend their time now. That and English people hate their jobs. It`s a good way to get past that.
A says on 2009-05-11 07:05:19 about
I don't think this has been researched well enough. Have you explored why English people are more polite? And why Germans appear less polite in comparison?
What are you basing this on?
Kris Bista says on 2009-05-01 10:32:05 about Who knows what?
You are not wrong for your opinion. I found the similar sides being in the US. I got American politiness similar to the British one! The most confusing part in thier polite world is "a fake smile". I can not figure out which is the real smile when Americans meet to each other and which one is the artificial! Even in the problem, I saw American giving a smile. It's hard to read them. Southern American, I got, perfer to say "hey" and Northern say "hi" and I never saw anyone saying "hello" in face-to-face conversation. I am the one who says every time 'hello' to these people.
In contrast, I found all Nepalse, wherever I meet them, say "namaste" and give a big smile. I got the level and degree of "namaste' the similiar across gender and across the nation.
Kris Bista
Michigan Tech University,
Michigan, USA
kkbista@mtu.edu
dutchdream says on 2009-04-25 04:55:37 about this story
Very unhelpful. We all know about Germans and their manners! Maybe you should have used another comparison here.
alanjon says on 2009-04-25 04:51:06 about this article
Your article is uninteresting and slighly offensive. Your information in relation to the people of Scotland is incorrect. You are obviously generalising here and I can assure you that the people of Scotland are one of the most friendliest and polite in the U.K. How can anyone truly compare manners and politeness with that of the Germans????
Your article is really a waste of space. Try again!
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