How drunk will you be this Christmas?

The most emotionally taxing time of year for most people. With many asking, ‘how do I get by another Christmas?’ I have decided to offer you some pointers that may or may not be useful.

People who are prone to bouts of depression are obviously the ones who need the least amount of attention. For these people the best advice to give is to drink. Drink like a parched fish in a fresh bowl. Drink like a 1996 Robert Downey Jr. It may well be the best and only way to survive another festive season of misery.

Are you, on the other hand one of those people who loves Christmas soooo much because of all the pretty things, like lights and trees? Am I the only one who thinks lights and trees are a bit over-rated to be worshipped so much at a particular time of year? Well, anyway, back to my point. If Christmas is the time of year you and yours look forward to all year round then I have a word or two of advice for these people as well. Drink. Drink like Shane McGowan challenged you!

Now, most of you will probably have realised that the advice I have thus far dispensed may seem to be the same in both cases. This however could not be further from the truth.

Those of us who drink at Christmas, because Christmas offers no joy, are drinking in a totally different way than those of us who love Christmas and have lots of drinks to be merry. The differences between these types of drinkers are massive.

Personally, I have found that I fall in between these two categories of Christmas drinkers. A few years ago it became cool to dislike Christmas, and like a sheep, I too hated Christmas. Realising now that, like Disneyland or Baghdad, Christmas is all about what you make of it. I think that allowing yourself to enjoy it, and even embrace the Christmas cheer is probably the easiest way to get through it!

In these uncertain economic times where a financial meltdown has seemed ominously close for the past few months, we have to prioritise what Christmas should mean to all of us. And I don’t mean the joy of giving, or any of that Hallmark crap.

So what does it mean to us?

The funny thing is, Christmas has begun to lose all meaning. The birth of Jesus, has for a long time now, taken a back seat to Santa. To be fair though, that is perfectly understandable. I mean, when I grew up, it was about the presents, and the fact that it was such a holy day, came in third (behind presents, and food). As you get older, I think the food overtakes the presents as the best thing about Christmas, but the birth of Christ still remains a third.

By saying this, I am not trying to be a heathen scumbag, only interested in myself at a time of year that is supposed to be about other people. The thing is though, and this is the most important thing to remember in order to survive this Christmas, it is all about other people. It is about whom you decide to get drunk with!

Choosing a good drinking circle can make or break your yule tide festivities. If, like me, you don’t have the most functional family in the world, then you must explore other avenues. This means gathering some friends that also don’t like the whole ‘family’ aspect of Christmas, and meeting up with them and getting smashed together. If on the other hand Christmas offers you an informal setting to drink and let your hair down with both family and friends, then do so.

So whether it is spending time with your beautiful family, or avoiding them like the plague, to spend time with real friends. Christmas is all about getting together with the people you love, and the people who love you and spending lots of quality drinking time together.

After all, isn’t Christmas about giving? So give yourself a break this year, and enjoy it at all costs…

We’ll deal with the bill in January.

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