The Ballad Of Britney

Let’s see, her music is crap, she doesn’t even sing well, her choice in men sucks, she sure can’t act, and that is just the beginning of this corporate manifested robot. But now, my dislike for her has turned to sorrow as Britney continues to spiral downward through the toilet bowl we call life.

In case you didn’t hear about it 500 times on TV or radio, Britney went to rehab for like a day, came back, shaved her head and got some tattoos. What story is still leaking out is that Britney had a run-in with the paparazzi after seeing her ex. She attacked them and their SUV with an umbrella and had that crazy look in her eye.

Yes Britney has bullshited about many things in her life since the advent of “Baby One More Time.” There was the speculation of her breasts being fake, there was that story about her and Justin Timberlake knocking boots, but Britney swore she was a virgin, until Timberlake ousted her on a 20/20 interview. Britney has done some whacked out things. She made out with Madonna on MTV, she married an old childhood friend while wasted in Vegas, and then of course let K-Fed use her like she was the tool that she has always been. From that point, she drives with her kids in the front seat, and likes to walk around with no undies. Yes, Britney Spears, she’s not that innocent, so she says.

I used to make some real mean remarks about Britney in the last few years. As a matter of fact, here are some of them:

• MTV is now a sanctuary for people who just fucking suck. It plays the stupid shit. Like Britney-March 2002
• Britney gets married, and it's annulled. She is some dumb hick from Louisiana who will remain a corporate puppet for the rest of her life.-January 6, 2004
• Rumors are that Britney and that guy from that family she wrecked are being courted by MTV to do a Newlyweds show-August 22, 2004
• Many things are happening that tell me the world is going to hell in a hand basket. Britney Spears released a Greatest Hits album-January 28, 2005
• With her and Federslime’s genes put together, I think we are going to see Britney pop out a hamster out of her cooch before a beautiful baby.-September 12, 2005

Nevertheless, Britney has become Hollywood’s new basket case and I really do feel sorry for her. As a matter of fact, when we did the Gauntlet on the Point, which is a hit/miss segment, hit being something positive or funny, miss being something negative or we didn’t like, I voted her as a miss because I felt sorry for her.

Britney since the beginning of time has had a mother who has been pushing her on stage as much as possible. She has been brainwashing her daughter to be her little prize since the age of nine when she was bringing Britney to many dance studios to try to get her talents noticed. She went on the Mickey Mouse club and that is where she met Timberlake.

Throughout the early years of Britney’s time in the spotlight, she always put herself in the light of being a person with good morals. Someone who lived life “the right way” and her mother always gave her the nod. Sponsors came calling and it seemed everything Britney was doing she was told to do by either Mom or the sponsors or MTV executives; it just didn’t seem natural to me. She was proud of being a virgin, but then Timberlake in an interview with Barbara Walters busted her out saying that she wasn’t. This crushed Britney and this was also the beginning of her good girl persona becoming undone.

In 2004, Britney released “In the Zone.” An album full of sexual innuendos, masturbation, and heartache. She wanted to get away from the little girl image (I am not a girl, but not yet a woman or some song like that), and she did just that blowing the lid off of Lynne Spears world. She eventually got married for 52 hours and then that ended, along with many of her sponsorship deals, and so much more.

Then she met Federline and that is when everything went really bad. Britney was being quite racy and this upset her mother so much, they got into a fight because what Jessica Simpson was is what Lynne wanted, and Britney did not. She releases a show called Chaotic, which was just that. In it, she talks about having sex with K-Fed and smoking dope and her idiotic fans, blah, blah, blah.

I have always said that one day Britney was going to snap, and she did just that. She went on Letterman shortly after the divorce with K-Fed and everyone thought she looked great and that a comeback was imminent. But then there were the late nights with Paris Hilton, the pictures of her drunk with no underwear, and just recently the trip to rehab and shaved head. Britney has finally hit bottom ladies and gentlemen.

Was it too much fame too soon? Was it a controlling stage mom? Was it mass corporations putting pressure on their new stock that was poised to ring in huge returns? Or was it a girl who has never had the chance to live her own life, did many things to rebel, and those things came back to her? I hope Britney finds solace in her life somehow, and lives a stress free life. Then when she comes back, I’ll pick on her again, that is, if she deserves it.

JAE

Share this article

Tags: tv   Life   people   world   paris   girl   ballads   britney spears   

Politics Factzone: The truth about Kim Jong Il Kim Jong Il, the leader of the free world, has decided to move on to more fertile grounds, leaving with us just the memories of 8-color rainbows, singing Korean women and couple of nuclear weapons. But who was this man whose next ambition would have been to get the next Nobel Peace prize? Here are just a few facts you should know about. more Top 5 Conspiracy Theories Related to John F. Kennedy's Assassination 26.Aug 2011 Since just after the assassination of John F. Kennedy, conspiracy theories abou...read ISRAEL KEEPING GHADDAFI AFLOAT 10.Mar 2011 ...read Glen Beck Is NOT the Anti-Christ! 10.Mar 2011 Hurtful and fiery rhetoric is now media’s default setting! This slippery and m...read Recipe for A REVOLUTION! (10 easy steps - try not to get burned!) 28.Feb 2011 Rebellion is cooking in the air. People are mad as hell, and not going to take...read THE ASSANGE CASE. CIA INTERFERED WITH SWEDISH LEGAL PROCESSES EXTREME RIGHT POLITICS A DANGER TO EUROPEAN UNITY THE AUSTRALIAN LABOR PARTY. OUT OF TOUCH, OUT OF FOCUS, OUT OF CREDIBILITY AND HOPEFULLY, OUT OF THE DOOR Opinion World governments charged with criminal negligence (in response to Megaupload case) EARTH (thecheers.org) - Federal authorities of the universe have charged the governments of all the countries in the world as well as the operators actually in power in these countries with operating a criminal enterprise, the Galaxy warriors announced Today. more The Great OSCARS 2011 – or so it would seem 5.Mar 2011 So, how exciting......a morning off, the Academy Awards. I wish I could say the...read Top 7 Expensive Bordellos. Prostitution: Shakedown, Tier Down, and Priced Out 31.Jan 2011 According to a report of the Washington DC-based US Department of State, The Ph...read The Great Secret and Reason for the JFK Assassination 11.Oct 2010 The great question is why the great secret? On June 4 1963, President Kennedy s...read Don't Do it! The 3 Worst Times to Get Tattoos 4.Oct 2010 As a general rule, tattoos gotten after 2 am are a bad idea. But in a bigger pi...read

Travel Travel Warning 13 September 2010 - DO NOT TRAVEL TO IRAN 13.Sep 2010 TRAVELWISE has been watching the situation in Iran for some months in relation ...read more TRAVELWISE TRAVEL ADVISORY 5th June 2010. DO NOT TRAVEL TO ISRAEL. 5.Jun 2010 Given the recent incident whereby the Israeli intelligence agency, Mossad, used...read TRAVELWISE. 16 APRIL 2010. EUROPEAN TRAVEL ALTERNATIVES 16.Apr 2010 Travelwise issues the following advice in relation to cancelled flights to, fro...read TRAVELWISE 6 APRIL 2010. AUSTRALIAN AIR TRAVEL. THE BEST WAYS TO TRAVEL BY AIR IN AUSTRALIA. 5.Apr 2010 Regular readers might have seen and read the various advisory and no-fly notice...read TRAVELWISE 2 APRIL 2010. QANTAS. 2.Apr 2010 Some concerns have been raised in relation to some of the maintenance practices...read Sport No Payoff From the Playoffs $16.50 will Get Anyone in the Hall Mr McGwire Stupid Athlete Tricks Technology Think Big! Think the World's Largest International Trade Show Top 9 cool laptop accessories for laptop geeks Twittering: I'm not that interesting Cheers Jesus' Answering Machine Brown Couch or twelve midgets in the town square How To Be Happy Drugged Out Saturday Nights Muslim Decapitation: Bad, or Simply Misunderstood?

	Post Comment    Your nickname    About what    Your comment   Are you human? How much is 1 + 2?