The game in overtime or how to lose a campaign in 1812 minutes

Winter 1812. Napoleon has just entered Warsaw in a sledge and not much else. However, he realizes that PR is important in the current state of affairs, with one army gone and the quick need to build a new one and reassure uncertain allies. He grants an interview for The Cheers in which he talks about how the game seemed won at half time, but was lost by the end, how you need to push those Russians to fall down after you killed them and why the Russian vodka cannot compare to his favorite Chambertin wine.

Reporter:Your Majesty, the world cup final with Russia was lost in extra time, how do you explain the defeat?

Napoleon: Well, the Russian have played a very compact game and their defensive tactics were excellent. The swinger idea, with two full backs functioned well at Borodino and then they were able to counterattack on our flanks during the extra time. Of course, I could bring other arguments of our defeat, including the whether, a terrible pitch, which was not only bad, but much longer than usual and none of the willingness to win that we have seen at our players in other games. The Russians were obstinate enough to beat us through.

R: Yet you were the big favorites of this game and everyone would have expected the French team to win at pace.

N: I should add that some of the latest transfers we have made from other countries, notably Austria and Prussia, did not justify the money we poured into them. The Poles played well, but could not cover other areas.

R: This game gave you the opportunity to travel to Moscow – had you ever been there and what were your impressions?

N: The city is beautiful and I can tell you that it glows differently when there are fires going on in many parts of the city. Too bad it will take another 100 years for the city to be rebuild and the tourism industry to take off again. But by then you might need different visas and it may be even more difficult than Borodino to get there.

R: What are your plans now?

N: I look forward to a nice vacation in Central Europe after the horrific weather we’ve had in Russia. Then we are going to start training for a new qualifying group. We are probably going to be drawn against Russia again, but hopefully Prussia and Austria will remain in a different league for the time being.

R: What is something you never go away from France without?

N: The Chambertin wine. For some reason or others, the defeats are easier to digest when sipped with a glass of good wine.

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