I’m not gonna say it’s something that many men wonder about. Most likely, they don’t. Some do, however, including me. Are men allowed to be weak? Weakness is really not something you think of when talking about men, whether you’re representing the sex of male or female. It doesn’t really matter. Let’s face it, men are supposed to be the strong sex. That’s the truth! Another question is: Does everyone really handle it? What if they don’t? I feel myself in a position where I can’t really say I’m strong. I wouldn’t say I’m a loser. No, I wouldn’t say that. When it comes to relationships and women, well, yes, I am. I’m really weak. God knows I haven’t had a single relationship in my life, even though my age would pretty much suggest it. Well, I’ve had one...or two, neither of which I would actually consider a relationship. Going out with someone once or twice, even if there was a few month’s gap between the dates, it still isn’t it, neither is a two-week relationship which had the length of two weeks only in theory. Reality was something different. Most of the time, I was out of town and I only met the girl couple of times within this period.
A guy in his best years, having had no actual relationships, even no one-night stands... How would you call the guy? Wimp? Wussy? Loser?...
No, I’m not a nerd. Actually I am, with women at least. So what the heck have I actually been doing during all my 23 years of my so called life? Can I say there have been times when I have been really happy? Real happiness is related to relationships, close relationships with the other person for me. Sounds like a real puzzle, doesn’t it, but it’s so. I feel having someone close just near you is one of the most important things for being really happy. Maybe I feel this way just because I haven’t really seen life in the other side...in the other side of me.
What have I been doing? I really don’t know. Nothing unusual. Lots of parties, lots of alcohol, lots of *fun*. I’m actually wondering myself as well what’s wrong with me. One thing’s for sure though, I’m not gay. Is it fortunate or unfortunate - I really don’t know.
When I was younger, I read a book that I can’t really get out of my head. Among other things it said that one can be a really successful businessman, but at the same time, an extreme wussy. I hoped it would never happen to me. The more I think about it, though, the more I feel it’s exactly the case. No, I’m not really a business genius either.
I’ve always been a bit shy, even though not many of my friends would actually agree with it. I don’t really look the kind. Yes, I don’t have a girlfriend, I am certainly one of the kind, but at the same time I’m like everyone else. Just this one thing – I haven’t had a girlfriend in my life.
The older I get, the harder it gets, actually. On the one hand, it gets harder to live without one. Every man needs a girl beside him. At the same time, I can’t say I haven’t had the chances; I’ve had more than one. I’m rather sure I would find a girl as soon as I actually started looking, but it doesn’t seem to be that simple. It’s all buried deep in my mind. Call me an idiot - I know I am - but I guess I’m looking for a perfect girl. No way do I want to get married and all that stuff, but I really am looking for a perfect girl...and well, to tell you the truth, I know a few. With perfect girls, though, isn’t it always more difficult to approach the perfect girls than just beautiful ones? I feel it’s damn hard.
The older you get the more you expect the women to expect from you. I’m not just talking about sex, but about everything related to girls, everything related to experiences...about everything. It’s difficult to start from the point where other guys started years ago. It’s really damn hard to get yourself together and do something to change it, to believe in what you are doing, to understand yourself.
I don’t want it to sound like some sort of jeremiad. Still, are men allowed to be weak like that? For a girl, for a woman, it doesn’t sound too bad. Even if it does sound surprising if she’d say she’s 23 and hasn’t really had a relationship in her life. It just brings to mind the question what the heck might be wrong with her. Is she just pretty or is there anything else to it? When a guy talks the same things, it’s not surprising anymore, but rather weird. Right?
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