Thank you for reading thecheers.org's Relationships articles.

The secret of smoking

 article about The secret of smoking
2004-11-21 09:37:30
Why do men smoke? For a non-smoker it is often not well understood. However, I do know the answer. There are three types of smokers. Firstly there is the guy who has been smoking for a while already and just can't quit. Happens. He is dependent on it. The second type is a so called social smoker. He uses the cigarette to feel part of some group, to belong together with people who smoke a lot and who actually feel joy of it.

And then there's the third type. People in this group smoke to fill their time with something, and gain more self-confidence. Don't get me wrong, it doesn't mean

that they smoke to show others that I smoke. No, it's not it. Neither is it to show off in front of someone. Definitely not. These times are long over when people smoked to leave a cool impression on themselves. Nowadays, it leaves a rather opposite impression, especially to non-smokers. Only still-evolving teenagers might do it because it's 'so cool'.

The bar

It is often embarrassing if you are sitting in a pub or bar with someone, whether it's your friend of some female prospect, there are spaces in your conversation when you don't know what to talk about, what to say next. Sometimes these spaces are long and you just start to talk about weather or pointless politics. Come on, man. Who needs this? For many people this silence is very annoying, I totally understand that. And the more pressure you feel to say something, the less you can actually think of something smart to say. At these times, it's really good to take out your package of cigarettes, take one and light it up. This moment of smoking preparations is often quite useful. It gives you time to think. It gives your partner some time to relax, knowing that you are currently definitely not staring at her. Maybe she doesn't like your smoking, in this case she will probably say something like 'you too?' Whatever the case is, she's likely to bring up some topic. One thing leads to another and here you go, again you have something to talk about with the other person. Lame? Yeah, but true.

But the main point here is this lighting a cigarette gives YOU time to relax for a moment. Even if the other person doesn't like it much, it doesn't let YOU feel uncomfortable because of the silence. It's not silence for you it's smoking time! No way is it a good way to leave a cool impression of you, but if you're usually shy and just not confident enough, it at least leaves this secure impression to the other person it shows you know what you're doing and that's only good. And of course, it actually makes you feel like it yourself as well, sometimes.

Not for everyone

Of course, many people are confident enough and they don't have to use such 'tricks' to leave a confident impression of themselves. But for many it really is one way to feel more secure about themselves. Whether it sounds good or not, in some cases it definitely comes in handy.

Not an invitation

Don't get me wrong, I'm not inviting you to start smoking, smoking is BAD. But in some cases this regretful habit can be very useful. However, I do urge you not to keep smoking for too long. I expect that at some point you don't need the confidence-cigarette anymore. However, there's now an alternative to smoking today by way of using vaporizers as an alternative to smoking the real cigarettes.


A friend of mine had been smoking for years, then he stopped and didn't try the evil being for 8 years. Then at some pojnt, during organizing some festival in France, he decided to smoke tobacco for a week to keep the stress level down. Next week he promised to smoke only until the package is empty and then again until the weekend with his relatives was over. Couple of weeks later when I saw him smoking again, I asked how was the quitting going. He answered that he isn't trying to quit anymore, he has just started smoking again. See ... long-time smoking is BAD. However, a new unique way to get rid of smoking would be through ejuice brands and flavours and this is now made possible with the existence of.

However, for a confidence-smoker quitting should be fairly easy. If it is quite a big challenge then maybe you want to check out Haze Smoke Shop to find out how you can get rid of the bad habit. Just last night a friend of mine, a non-smoking beautiful female, asked me: "if you'd start dating a non-smoking woman, who hated smoking, would you quit?" Without a blink of an eye, I answered YES. Another friend of mine started bubbling something about previous attempts and such. He is the first-type smoker, the dependent one.

Whether someone starts to smoke because of this article or not, it doesn't really matter. It's definitely not a reccommendation to anyone. However, it does help sometimes, it does help some people in some situations....




have your say


more in Relationships
Men's Vocabulary: A Guide for Women

This piece is something that came from my experience with men. It's a guide, but not absolute though. Enjoy.

Love's Muse

I'm in a pretty confusing situation and I need your help. There is this guy I was dating for the past two months or so. Well, everything was going cool and I thought things were fine until he gave me a call and said that he wanted some time to himself.

Love's Muse

Please send in your Relationship questions to craig@thecheers.org. All questions will be answered and featured in the "Love's Muse" segment.

Love's Muse

If you have questions for Love's Muse, please email craig at, craig@thecheers.org.

Love's Muse

Dear Craig,I cant seem to find someone who I feel is right for me.  I get asked a lot of questions, as to why Im single and I dont even know what to say.  I flirt and would like to be with s...

thecheers.org

Welcome to TheCheers! We've been around for a long time now, since 2004, publishing articles by people from all over the world. Roughly 300 people from 30 different countries have written for us over the years. Should you want to become a volunteer contributor, be sure to contact us!

Educational resources
Entertainment Blogs
get in touch

You can contact us via The Cheers Facebook page or The Cheers NEW Twitter account.