Thank you for reading's Relationships articles.

Men's Vocabulary: A Guide for Women

 article about 
2004-11-16 23:01:42

I remembered going for my first date. Not my first real date, but a date whereby the man had sexual interest in me. Incidentally, I didn't realize this at the time; he gave mixed signals, which he clarified for me afterwards.

As I went along with him on my next couple of dates, I realized something - having a conversation with a man on a date is full of hidden messages. Whoever said men are simple creatures and we women are complicated ought to be shot! In a bid for poor girls like me to avoid such confusion, I have drawn up a "dictionary."

They say      : "Are you open-minded?"

They mean   : "We want to check out if you're willing to let us fuck you."

They say      : "Are you mature?"

They mean   : "Are you still a virgin?"

They say      : "I need to leave for an appointment after a short while."

They mean   : "You suck big time. I want to get away from you."

They say      : "Do you want companionship?"

They mean   : "This is a fling, baby. We're not committing."

So remember, next time you go on your date, check this before you go. Get it right!

have your say

more in Relationships
Ten ways to WOW Your Lady in Bed!

(Hey numbskull, if the first one doesn't make you believe in this list, then don't read another word, you chauvanist pig!)

Ask Dr. Whacko

Caller: "I'm in a bit of an emergency here. I let my gerbil crawl up my ass and it got stuck there. Should I call a veterinarian or a proctologist?" Dr. Wacko: "Well isnt that special! I ...

Ask Dr. Whacko

Dear Dr. Wacko: When I walk my poodle and it takes a shit, there is sometimes a hard-on which embarrasses me in public. What should I do? Man with Poodle Dear Man with Poodle...

Ask Dr. Whacko

Dr. Wacko: I am interviewing astronaut Albert EinFrommage, who returned from a space voyage which approached the speed of light. I understand that he actually traveled backwards in time for a moment...

Ask Dr. Whacko

Dear Dr. Wacko: Dont you hate it when you are walking your dog and he shits and you notice that you forgot your plastic bag so you have to put the shit in your pocket? Irv Humperdinck ...

Welcome to TheCheers! We've been around for a long time now, since 2004, publishing articles by people from all over the world. Roughly 300 people from 30 different countries have written for us over the years. Should you want to become a volunteer contributor, be sure to contact us!

Educational resources
Entertainment Blogs
get in touch

You can contact us via The Cheers Facebook page or The Cheers NEW Twitter account.