Hey kids, y'all ready fo' some crazy-ass batshit?

If anyones got a lie detector handy, this would be a good time to bust it out.  All set?  Now lets try a little experiment

 

Psst calling all White House wannabes.  Did someone mention a draft?

 

"We're NOT going to have a draft, PERIOD." George W. Bush, St. Louis

 

"I will tell you this: I will NOT reinstate the draft," John F. Kerry, West Palm Beach, Florida

 

"We will NOT have a draft, so long as I am president of the United States." George W. Bush, Iowa

 

If I'm president of the United States, there WONT be a draft." John F. Kerry, Rochester, Minnesota

 

"There will be NO draft when John Kerry is president," John Edwards, West Virginia

 

The notion that somebody's peddling out there that there is a secret plan to reinstitute the draft it's HOGWASH, not true," Dick Cheney, Cleveland

 

On October 5, the House of Representatives defeated a draft proposal - the Universal National Service Act introduced almost two years ago to protest the Iraq War, by a vote of 402-2.  To paraphrase the vote: See!  Were not going to have a draft!  Really!  Just move along... I said MOVE ALONG!

 

The uproar is in response to a rumor that has been floating around at least one of the Internets, a rumor that is partially myth and partially fact.  (If you havent seen it yet, you could probably use a few more email contacts. ;-) A copy of one such email can be found here.)

 

The facts are thus:

 

The United States has troop commitments in over 130 countries, with no intention of backing down. High-ranking military officials, including former (can you guess why?) Iraq Administrator Paul Bremer said that more troops were needed from the beginning National Guard and Reserve soldiers have been forced to stay in the military against their will when their enlistment terms have expired. The Selective Service not quite another infamous SS, but still scary has declared they are ready to conduct a draft within six months if necessary. A recently leaked SS memo puts forth the idea of a skills draft, where Americans possessing needed skills would be drafted. In response, George W. Bush and his cohorts have said repeatedly and repeatedly and repeatedly that there will not be a draft that THERE WILL NOT BE A DRAFT!  ITS HOGWASH!  With only days remaining in the campaign, hes still saying it.  When young people historically have low voter turnout, and the focus of his campaign this far has been on other issues, why is this man (who instead of reassuring us on September 11 hid in his "undisclosed location") so adamant to reassure the country now that their kids wont be getting an up close and personal tour of Baghdad? 

 

Is it because he himself has two daughters of eligible age? 

 

Or is it because he knows there is no other way to win the trust of American voters than through brute force?

 

Step back and look at the big picture:  Since Bushs term began, weve been involved in two wars.  Neither has resulted in the capture of Osama bin Laden, but both have resulted in a Jihad recruitment boom that makes the U.S. Military jealous.

 

If Bush is re-elected, can we expect two more wars?  Is it just a coincidence that two prongs on Bushs axis of evil remain sovereign nations?

 

Its not just that hes itching to eliminate Iran and North Korea, nor is it the fact that 89% of Coalition casualties have been ours (as of 10/20/04), nor the problem of nations still dropping from our meager list of allies.  The reason the Bush administration is even more eager to dispel this so-called Internet hoax than it is to kill Osama bin Laden is because they know they cant be trusted.  On the floor of the House, Representative Tim Ryan of Ohio gave a stirring speech to that effect, saying in part,

It is the same people who told us that Saddam Hussein had something to do with 9/11; the same people who told us Saddam Hussein had something to do with weapons of mass destruction; the same people who told us we would be able to use the oil for reconstruction money; the same people who told us we would be greeted as liberators, not occupiers; the same people, the same President who told us the Taliban is gone; the same President who told us that Poland is our ally two days before they pulled out; the same President who tells us Iraq is going just great; the same President who tells us the economy is going just great; the same people who told us the tax cuts were going to create millions of jobs; the same people who told us that the Medicare program only cost $400 billion when it really cost $540 billion.

So please forgive us for not believing what you are saying. Please forgive the students of this country for not believing what you are saying. Not one thing, not one thing about this war that has been told to the American people or that has been told to these college students has been true.

 

View video: (PC) (Mac)

 

At least one (okay, satirical) website sings the praises of a draft.  ENJOYTHEDRAFT.com (Join the Army Its just like Xbox, only you die!) is psyching students up for Spring BreakFallujah in 2005.  Visit the site to make your travel plans would you like to travel economy, business, or body bag?  Dont forget to budget an extra $50 for body armor!

 

A recent survey by the Annenberg Public Policy Center shows these fears are not a hoax.  Fifty one percent of adults age 18 to 29 believe Bush wants to reinstate the draft, eight percent thought Kerry favored it, and a quarter percent of those polled said neither candidate supported a draft.

 

Newsflash, folks: If the Klingons attack, even the hippies aren't going to mind a draft. "ChaH DichDaq Sop maH!"  Not sure about the translation, but the point is that neither candidate can guarantee us a thing.  So which one can we trust most in the pressure of battle?

 

This is real, folks.  America's kids are scared.  Who is anyone to tell us we arent?  Every day in this country, the word draft blows through campuses, and kids speculate: "What would I do if the draft lottery chose my number?"  Is it your civic duty to serve your country?  Couldnt that be done in hospitals and schools instead of tanks and airplanes?  "Mom, do I have any relatives in Canada?"

 

"No?  Are you sure?"

 

Im guessing you, dear reader, have at least one kid in your life.  If not your own, a niece or nephew, or a neighbor?  Think of their faces, their future.

 

Imagine what kind of world the next four years will bring them.

 

If you are an American, there is no greater reason to vote.  Vote for the kids who cant.  Vote for the kids who, when they try to press 'pause,' might soon find out that war isnt a game.

 

----------

Brian Hokanson does have relatives in Canada.  But he doesn't know their names, hasn't spoken to them--ever--and isn't even sure if they're human or abominable snowmen.  Will he find out?  Go to his blog at theyetimn.blogspot.com to read about it!  Now!  Before those other HOGWASH blogs throw your reading pleasure to the wolves!!

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