Smell like Jlo, smell like Paris, smell like a two-bit whore
In
the race to see which celebrity can cash in the fastest, department and
specialty stores are bombarded with the newest celebrity craze—original
scents created directly by the rich and famous themselves, how unique.
Hell,
if one cannot be friends with Paris Hilton or at least distant
acquaintances at least now everyone can smell like her. This, in my
opinion, wouldn’t be a bad idea if you were living in a French brothel
serving the masses.
From
Miss Britney Spears to model turned anorexic Kate Moss, more than a
dozen celebrities are endorsing signature scents to appeal to their fan
base and reaping the monetary benefits. Wouldn’t it be easier for
everyone if Madonna would simply reel everyone back into the practices
of Kabbalah, or was that just a phase too—Britney, Demi anyone?
One
simple scent would suffice—no combo deals of sugar and spice—just a
basic perfume for the basic person. Remember how great CK BE smelled,
it should be that simple. Where’s Calvin Klein when you need him?
Unfortunately, simplicity to a celebrity is as far off as snow in Los
Angeles—it just doesn’t work.
The
celebrity perfume trend is in full force this year with no signs of
slowing down. Yes, this is obvious because now even David and Victoria
Beckham are launching a line of his and her perfumes. Mr. European
soccer and Miss. Posh Spice herself even took heed of this growing
phenomenon. I’m sure the scent would only work if one was equally as
beautiful as the couple combined.
To
those in the race to endorse more smells than Elizabeth Taylor,
quantity doesn’t have to worry about quality. Brit Brit now has two
perfumes out Curious and Fantasy—though Jlo still has her beat with four fragrances.
Curious
“peeks the curiosity of young women” rumor has it jasmine blended with
Louisiana magnolia can do that to a girl so beware. Fantasy is
“a playful tease with a delicious trail of temptation.” Remember the
taste of bubbleyum’s cotton candy gum? It’s the exact same thing, but
magically transformed into scent, yummy!
As if having a child isn’t time consuming enough, Britney had to return back to her triple threat status and release Fantasy.
Just in enough time so baby Federline and Kevin will have enough money
banked in the savings account to get a halfway decent education. What a
great mother.
It
might even be a little humorous if these perfume wars actually started
becoming real wars. I can only imagine Jlo, Britney and Sarah Jessica
Parker spraying at each other angrily—“You took my idea, no you took
mine.” How great would life be? Eventually all of them would end up
sick and in some expensive hospital in the Hollywood Hills resorting
back to Kabbalah. Ah simple Kabbalah.
Personally
if I had to choose, I would dive in for the all American slice of apple
pie and spritz myself on a regular basis with Donald Trump’s fragrance,
which has been described as spicy, but peppery. At least this way, I’d
have the confidence of the Don and the odor of a tamale. Life, it can’t
get any better.
Maybe
now we should all sit back and ponder this celebrity craze. Maybe
celebs like Jlo and Paris aren’t doing this for themselves, rather for
the average everyday Joe like you and I. Finally, not only can we dress
like our favorite celebrity, now we can actually smell like them
too—let the cloning begin, cheers!
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