I'd like to offer a bit of an explanation for some of the inconsistencies that North Americans may feel the British suffer from in their general conversation and demeanor.
Being born a Brit, although now a nauseatingly proud Canadian, I feel I can speak for some of the Brits, although I don't profess to speak for all of them. In my experience the Brits are viewed as being fairly direct, quite abrasive at times, and cutting in their language and humor. However, one area this does not extend to is in the use of the correct anatomical terms for our genitals, or as I like to call mine, my ‘undercarriage'.
I have British friends that will say things that make most nationalities stop in their tracks. Although other nationalities may think these things, most people won't express them. But start talking about anything to do with our ‘doing bits' (a term that I actually used with my gynecologist once) and the Brits will pull out all sorts of abstract terms.
My North American friends laugh because I'll refer to my ‘underlings' with amazing vagueness. They (or technically ‘it') can also be referred to as the aforementioned undercarriage, doing bits, or as many British females refer to it up to the age of puberty ‘front bottom'. There tend to be far less names for this ‘area' than there are for the corresponding area on a male's body.
I, in fact, am amazingly ignorant of the geography also of my nether regions. I do not know, nor wish to know, in which order any of the orifices lie. All I know is that some are for innies and some are for outies and as long as stuff functions like that I'm happy. It also wasn't until my friends were discussing about 2 years ago the labia majora and minora that I had ever even heard of these. I thought the first was a small island off of the coast of Spain that Brits like to frequent and the second a candlestick.
Now I have come far since moving to Canada and can, on occasion refer to the man's genital outy bit as his penis but I have found no occasion and I repeat NO OCCASION where it is necessary to use the correct anatomical term for my privates. Sorry, nope, just can't do it and it gives me the willies thinking about it.
So if there are any of you out there who are unfamiliar with some of the Brit terms for a gent's joy stick, here are a few you could spice up your vocab with. Probably the first a man uses and it works well on every occasion is ‘willy'. Todger is a favorite of mine, can't say I like ‘pee-pee' much as that seems a bit infantile (coming from a woman who can't use the ‘V' word). I'm sure you're all familiar with knob, cock, prick and dick although I prefer to use these when referring to the pillock who bears the instrument.
At this point I feel I ought to throw out there a valuable piece of information which seems to have caused embarrassment to some when crossing the Atlantic. While ‘wanker' seems to be an acceptable term in North America for someone who is a bit of an idiot, this is not a term that you can use in front of your granny in the UK. We do use it to express our disdain at an individual but it refers to their habit of ‘tossing the caber' or ‘twirling their baton' ALONE. So if you are from North America and visiting your homies from across the water, you may want to use the word ‘pillock', ‘berk', ‘muppet' or ‘numpty' if having tea with family.
At about this point you're probably amazed that the Brits manage to breed (well me at least), and this probably has something to do with what I thought the ‘rhythm method' was…… but that's another tale for another day.
Being born a Brit, although now a nauseatingly proud Canadian, I feel I can speak for some of the Brits, although I don't profess to speak for all of them. In my experience the Brits are viewed as being fairly direct, quite abrasive at times, and cutting in their language and humor. However, one area this does not extend to is in the use of the correct anatomical terms for our genitals, or as I like to call mine, my ‘undercarriage'.
I have British friends that will say things that make most nationalities stop in their tracks. Although other nationalities may think these things, most people won't express them. But start talking about anything to do with our ‘doing bits' (a term that I actually used with my gynecologist once) and the Brits will pull out all sorts of abstract terms.
My North American friends laugh because I'll refer to my ‘underlings' with amazing vagueness. They (or technically ‘it') can also be referred to as the aforementioned undercarriage, doing bits, or as many British females refer to it up to the age of puberty ‘front bottom'. There tend to be far less names for this ‘area' than there are for the corresponding area on a male's body.
I, in fact, am amazingly ignorant of the geography also of my nether regions. I do not know, nor wish to know, in which order any of the orifices lie. All I know is that some are for innies and some are for outies and as long as stuff functions like that I'm happy. It also wasn't until my friends were discussing about 2 years ago the labia majora and minora that I had ever even heard of these. I thought the first was a small island off of the coast of Spain that Brits like to frequent and the second a candlestick.
Now I have come far since moving to Canada and can, on occasion refer to the man's genital outy bit as his penis but I have found no occasion and I repeat NO OCCASION where it is necessary to use the correct anatomical term for my privates. Sorry, nope, just can't do it and it gives me the willies thinking about it.
So if there are any of you out there who are unfamiliar with some of the Brit terms for a gent's joy stick, here are a few you could spice up your vocab with. Probably the first a man uses and it works well on every occasion is ‘willy'. Todger is a favorite of mine, can't say I like ‘pee-pee' much as that seems a bit infantile (coming from a woman who can't use the ‘V' word). I'm sure you're all familiar with knob, cock, prick and dick although I prefer to use these when referring to the pillock who bears the instrument.
At this point I feel I ought to throw out there a valuable piece of information which seems to have caused embarrassment to some when crossing the Atlantic. While ‘wanker' seems to be an acceptable term in North America for someone who is a bit of an idiot, this is not a term that you can use in front of your granny in the UK. We do use it to express our disdain at an individual but it refers to their habit of ‘tossing the caber' or ‘twirling their baton' ALONE. So if you are from North America and visiting your homies from across the water, you may want to use the word ‘pillock', ‘berk', ‘muppet' or ‘numpty' if having tea with family.
At about this point you're probably amazed that the Brits manage to breed (well me at least), and this probably has something to do with what I thought the ‘rhythm method' was…… but that's another tale for another day.
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