Gambling addiction – is it the same as having great sex?

It is always great to see the kind of symptom lists that show if you have an addiction. Or these tests you take to see whether your sex life is good. Well, they have the same type of tests for gambling addiction. Answer "yes" to seven of the 20 questions and you're a winner of this new kind of addiction - addiction to gambling!

I thought I'd test it - what if we take those symptoms and tests and really replace the words related to gambling to words relating to having great sex. Wait, but why just test it with one other thing like well-paid researchers do, let's try to use the word inventing instead of gambling as well. Plus, just to show we're better than those overpaid researchers suffering in the bureaucracy machine, let's see how it works in case of any other addiction and if all addictions should actually be treated as one.

Recoveryconnection.org says "Generally a gambling addiction is defined if at least five of the following criteria are present:
1. Tolerance – You require larger or more frequent bets to experience the same"high".
2. Preoccupation – You experience frequent thoughts regarding gambling.
3. Lying – You try to hide the extent of your compulsive gambling and the losses associated with it.
4. Escape – You try to improve your mood by gambling.
5. Loss of Control – You try to reduce your gambling with no effect.
6. Chasing – You try to win back gambling losses with additional betting.
7. Illegal Acts – You break the law in order to access money for additional gambling.
8. Risked Significant Relationship – You continue to gamble despite the risk of losing a marriage or significant other.
9. Withdrawal – You experience restlessness, irritability, depression or anxiety when trying to give up gambling.
10. Bailout – You turn to family, friends etc. for financial assistance to pay gambling debts."

Remember, we are testing for a few things here - can at least five of them be used for great sex and inventing. And would at least five of them fit to describe other major addictions as well such as alcohol, drugs, self-cutting. I think three should be good enough.

Tolerance - sex is always good, inventing more and even bigger things gives you the same "high" as smaller things in the beginning. Check. Alcohol, drugs, self-cutting – any questions?

Preoccupation - hmm, sex, no, of course we never think about it! Inventing - how the hell can you invent something when you don't think about it frequently. Alcohol, drugs, self-cutting - do I really need to say anything?

Lying - you don't need to lie about having a great sex (you could, of course), sometimes you maybe hide the "number of times a day you have great sex" in order not to depress your friends; inventing requires a lot of money, and nobody wants to talk about big expenses, plus great inventions shouldn't be talked about before you've patented your invention. So sex and inventing in this case is neither egg nor chicken. Half a point from here. Alcohol, drugs, self-cutting – I think it's all too obvious already?

Escape - having sex always gives you better mood. Well, unless little Joey goes off too early. Doing your job well always gives you satisfaction, be it inventing or anything else. Alcohol, drug…..ah, forget it.

Loss of control - in order to do anything, you need to have a great motivation. It doesn't mean any loss of control, if you don't have control over your own life (or at least that's your excuse) then it usually means you don't have motivation to change anything. And nobody has motivation to have less sex (unless your penis hurts) or invent less useless things. Period.

Chasing - it does fit for sex. If you don't have a girl to have sex with any more, you go after another. Truth of life. If the inventor can't put together another flying bicycle he'll go with a flying car. No worries.

Illegal acts - inventors really might blow something up, they can, unknowingly, but they can. You might even brake the law to go after the girl your really want, right? Well, half baked point from this "criteria".

Risked significant relationship - the more you work, the more you risk with your personal life, so yes for inventors. And if your wife doesn't know you're having great sex right now then this might be a tiny bit of a problem as well.

I won't even go into the two last criterias there. But the only thing a list like that might tell you is that you're passionate about something. Period. Does it say anything else? It sure does - pretty much whatever you want it to say.

Here's another test for you to look at (source: nongambler.com). Try to think of anything instead of gambling and see if you can get at least seven YES answers. (I tried masturbating, got 10)

Answering yes to 7 or more of these questions may indicate a gambling problem.
1. Did you ever lose time from work or school due to gambling?
2. Has gambling ever made your home life unhappy?
3. Did gambling affect your reputation?
4. Have you ever felt remorse after gambling?
5. Did you ever gamble to get money with which to pay debts or otherwise solve financial difficulties?
6. Did gambling cause a decrease in your ambition or efficiency?
7. After losing did you feel you must return as soon as possible and win back your losses?
8. After a win did you have a strong urge to return and win more?
9. Did you often gamble until your last dollar was gone?
10. Did you ever borrow to finance your gambling?
11. Have you ever sold anything to finance gambling?
12. Were you reluctant to use "gambling money" for normal expenditures?
13. Did gambling make you careless of the welfare of yourself or your family?
14. Did you ever gamble longer than you had planned?
15. Have you ever gambled to escape worry or trouble?
16. Have you ever committed, or considered committing, an illegal act to finance gambling?
17. Did gambling cause you to have difficulty in sleeping?
18. Do arguments, disappointments or frustrations create within you an urge to gamble?
19. Did you ever have an urge to celebrate any good fortune by a few hours of gambling?
20. Have you ever considered self destruction or suicide as a result of your gambling?

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