I can't think straight. I haven't been able to all day. My mouth feels dry. I'm anxious and I feel on edge. I'm twitchy. I have a headache. I'm Irritable and I'm snapping at everyone I talk to. I can't sit still at all, I'm gonna wear out this sofa in a minute. It's getting too much for me. I'm biting my nails. I'm starting to shake. I've gotta get out of here. I know - I'll go for a walk. Yeah...that'll sort me out. OK..where is my coat? MY COAT, DAMN IT. Whoa...Breathe, calm down. It's fine. There it is, right let's get out of here.
God, I'm sweating here. Man, this is awful. Maybe i should walk a bit faster? I'm already walking pretty fast though, I'm out of breath. Right, slow down, take it easy, it's gonna be OK. What time is it? Eh? Already? It can't be, where has the day gone? I better get a move on. Should i take the bus? Think I will, it's probably for the best. C'mon bus, I'm sure there is one due in a minute. Wow, I really am shaking now. Where is this bus? It sure is cold out here today, I should have worn my scarf, maybe. WHERE IS THIS BUS? Come on!!! Great here it is...here we go.
Right, where am I gonna sit? Oh good, an empty seat, I'll sit here. I'm too warm now, gotta open a window. Ah, that is much better. Right, settle down. You're on your way. Slowly. Too slowly. CAN'T THIS PIECE OF JUNK GO ANY FASTER?
This Bus is too crowded, look at all these stupid people, slowing me down. Do we have to keep stopping like this? If one more person gets on this bus, I'm gonna scream, I swear. HURRY UP? What is the point of getting on a bus if you don't know where it's going? It tells you on the Timetable on the Bus Stop? Why are you asking the driver and holding me up? COME ON!
Right, we are off again. Great, almost there. Won't be long. Relax. I know - I'll put my iPod on. That'll calm me down. Here we go...Shuffle Songs. Hmm, don't really wanna listen to this one...skip. Skip. Skip. Skip. Skip. Skip. Skip. Skip...ARRRGH. Why can't i find a song I want to listen to? Stupid thing.
Oh, Fantastic, we are here. Right, Everyone off this bus as quickly as possible, come on old man, move it, MOVE IT. Thank you. Right, gotta find a cash machine. I'm sure there is one on the way. Ah yes, there it is.
Wait, Northern Rock? Will this thing even have any money? Shall I risk it? God, my head is killing me. OK, I'll risk it. Pin Number? Oh my god, what's My PIN NUMBER? I've forgot. NO!!!! 3472? 3427? 4327? Oh Bollocks. One more attempt? 4372?...YES!! £20 Please!!
Not long now Craigy boy. Just round this corner and...shit, look at the queue! Well I haven't come all this way just to go back again. And I'm British, God damn it. We queue better than anyone. And I'm sure I won't be stuck in it that long. I mean, this is hardly Flamingo Land, or a Billy Connolly concert is it?
Right, come on. Almost there. Almost There. Jesus, is this guy buying the whole place, he's taking ages. Come on, you prick. Hurry Up. Stop showing off. What a Doyle. No need at all. HOW LONG IS HE TAKING? ARRRGH.
That's better. Right, too more people then it's me. She was quick, well done lady. This is it. Almost there, Not long now. It's gonna be so worth it. Right THIS IS IT...HERE WE GO...OH MAN.
"Yes, I'd like a Grande Cinnamon Latte with cream please, with an extra shot of espresso, Thank you"
That's Better.
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What is the point of getting on a bus if you don't know where it's going?
