Commandments

Vengeance is mine sayth the Lord.

But I love you.

Accept Jesus or be damned to eternal hell.

But I will never leave you.

Thou shalt not kill.

I can, but you can't.

Thou shalt worship no God but me.

I'm having a mid-eternity crisis.

Thou shalt not commit adultery.

Pay no mind to My impregnating Joseph's Wife – there were no single girls who had the time for a kid.

God is love.

But cross Me and your ass is grass.

So let it be written.

So let it be done.