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Of Mice and Marriage

 article about Of Mice and Marriage
2005-01-25 22:03:01

Chris and I have one of those typical TV relationships. We were high school "sweethearts" and got married soon after. The only thing we did not realize was we were not only marrying each other - we were marrying into each other's habits as well.

Especially mine...

I got about six mice when we moved in together. They got extra friendly among themselves and pretty soon I had an avalanche of mice.

This did not sink well with Chris, especially after they starting escaping the cages and raiding the kitchen.

That was when Chris decided on using what he calls "population control." Population control is actually Mystique, our one-year-old, pound-adopted cat, with silky black fur. She is incredibly smart, and wondrously sweet. Her only flaw is she sucks up mice like cartoon vacuum cleaners suck up couches. They don't even get a chance to plead forgiveness, before she gulps them up to sprinkle upon her Meow Mix.

Several times I have found decapitated and otherwise gutted mice in puddles of their own blood or just see a tail going down her mouth. I always thought cats spit out the guts, but maybe she waits until I am not looking for decency sake. She is a rather respectable cat.

Chris, whom I call a "dog lover," and by that I mean loves only dogs, actually pets Mystique when these mice-a-cides occur. He still pushes her off the bed, though.

We recently got a new kitten, Socrates, an orange and white striped 'little boy'. He and Mystique run around the house playing for hours. Don't worry, they're fixed!

Their friendship makes me happy for two reasons:

1) They have companionship in their own species and enjoy each other.

2) The more time they spend with each other the less they spend on mouse hunting.

Chris thinks Socrates is the stupidest cat in the world and calls him "Erkle" instead. Just because Socrates drops a few 'important' things on the floor.

He classified my cats as "stupid-bad" Socrates dropping a plate onto the floor, and "intelligent-bad" Mystique sneaking on the counter to snatch food.

He claims to hate my pets, yet I caught him petting Mystique without a dead mouse and letting Socrates purr on his lap. Also, he gave my mice carrots, which he says is to fatten em up so they die of overeating, but I don't buy into that theory.

I learned a valuable lesson from all this: No matter how much someone hates something about you, if they love you enough, they will put up with anything.

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