2004-02-27
Dear my sweet heart breaker ,

For the last hours, days and months I have spent without you I have been all a waste, a hollow person, the spirit has run out of me, I am half leaving with fear and loneliness taking up my life.

Never thought life will be like this without you. You are all that my life needs, I can not tell how I can get to you . I have kept on opening my letter every day, check my mails and wait all night for  your call to hear that soothing voice to keep me out of  the nightmares of the night darkness.

I did not realise how much I loved you since I met you, never knew you took away part of me with you, the day I said I loved you and you replied you did love me too. 

How difficult it is leaving without seeing you face shining, your lips lighting up with a smile, the lovely magic touch with your smooth palm.

Your love made me so proud, jealous and sturbon of you.

Did you ever realise how incensed I was about you, that I felt I would wait for the miracle to happen to loose you.

My love for you has been a lasting love like a mothers love, it made me rediscover myself and that I ran out of words to describe you, for you became the key to my heart without I could not breath any more.

I have felt so stupid since you walked out of me and denied me the love that I have cherished. I did not tell you all this because I could not explain what I was going through, it all struck me like lightening because it was all sweet that I did not believe I had it. 

At my bed side where I keep getting the memories of all the happy times that I had with you, so fresh that I keep smiling like I have not seen you for all this long.

Do you remember the day you did mention the word I love you? that minute later I was not with you, because it was all dream I had in my life and you had just made it come true.

Now I am in the pain, a hard piercing pain in my heart, now that I  can not see you again, my life has never been the same, its just like the beginning, that am struck now with the fact that you are not with me.

I have spent all my time thinking of how I could have lost it so fast like I got it, was I so excited that I blew it? Did make a big fuss out of it now that you can not talk to me, call me and write me all those sweet words anymore? 

Remember how I wanted to shout out loud your name, remember how I held back my tears of joy? I was not running mad but I felt I wanted to worship you for all this that you had given me.

You made me realise that there was nothing as sweet as being loved and being cared for.

Just think of the best of the times we have had, and I promise you, lots and more than we had before, please just look back and come back to me, I have been waiting ever since and have not given up on with you. If you did put me on probation, I did finish it the  first day you walked away.

Its all between you and me, I will always love you, and no relationship is going to match ours, just think again.

I love you .

Yours broken heart.