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Not in the Mood for Raising Men

 article about When a Single Mother Raises Sons Alone
2015-10-05 00:40:03
I am single and no where close to having a relationship. It seems I have a difficult time settling for just anyone just because he is a man. My dilemma is I can not seem to experience the meeting of a man stronger and prepared to be a giving person than my sons.

When I look at my life today, I am thankful for having two wonderful sons who have grown up to be two spiritual and strong young men. I have to be honest and admit I find it quite amazing how God blessed our journey for the outcome brings me to tears.
I was widowed at the age of twenty-seven. Their father was stripped from our lives suddenly due to a car accident. The last words he shared with me was how proud he was of the mother I was to his children. It was these last words I carried deep into my heart. Because of those words, I was determined to keep him proud of me even in his grave.

My sons had male figures in their lives, uncles, cousins, grandfathers and teachers. Not one grandfather or none of the above accept a teacher added something positive in their lives. It was a teacher and this teacher is still blessing their lives today. He is not a black man, a coach who came into their lives early during their middle school years and he never left their side.

Somehow we made it through the tough times together one son being two and a half the other being near five by a week of his father's death. I was on a mission to make sure I gave my all to ensure their future walk in life was solid. My husband's mother told me if someone loves you, you will make it. It was those words that guaranteed in my soul my sons would make it.

Today, each son have a daughter and they are the most solid father presence I've seen directly from a black man. I mean they both accept full responsibility to be there for their daughters. I am truly amazed of their ability to be such great fathers without a black man to display it before them.

I am single and no where close to having a relationship. It seems I have a difficult time settling for just anyone just because he is a man. My dilemma is I can not seem to experience the meeting of a man stronger and prepared to be a giving person than my sons. In my interactions, I find it seems the men I have met need some serious raising to understand what it means to be a giving, loving and caring person without expecting so much for themselves.

See, I am not raising anymore men. I just would like to meet a black man who has a purpose, a heart, and a future of a good presence. Am I asking for too much? I met a guy here recently. I had hope of possibly having a positive experience with him. Both my sons are football coaches for a private school in fact the school LeBron James graduated from so I get free tickets. This man loves football. I was like great finally, I just may have someone to go with me to high school football games, but no, he couldn't even return a call for free tickets for him and his friends. Mind you I was not going with him just offered them to him since he said they were planning to attend the same game I was going to that Friday.

A week went by and he decides to call like he didn't leave me hanging about what to do with the extra tickets. I didn't answer the phone. To me that was a red flag from the standpoint, I was offering good with no expectations. He told me he would confirm it the next day. Not a sound from him. Was I wrong?




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