A FORMULA FOR LONG LIFE

 

            Is there anyone who doesn't want to lead a long life on our planet earth?  Only a madcap would say that he would love to die around 23 years of age.  What about others?  Well, that include you and me.

 

            According  to the statistics the world over, Women live longer than Men.  Some women-species   are known to have lived for as long as  25 years as aged widows.  Do you know why?  You'll know the reasons as we go along.

 

           Did it ever occur to you that you and I and the third person over there, came into the world not laughing but crying?  If you hadn't cried when you saw the light on the earth, the doctor in the labour room would have  given  you a nice whack on your hindquarters. Oh, how delighted any  first time mother would feel at hearing that marvellous sound from the new born baby's mouth. It would have been  glorious music in her ears too.

 

            Yet in later years, the very same cry would drive the mother, the father and uncles mad.  But then that's a different subject, outside the purview of this article.

 

            Since the first thing a child is made to do on entry into the world is, ‘to cry', the matter should not  be ended there within the first few minutes after birth.. My information is that  in some maternity hospitals in the United States, there is a special room called ‘crying room' where the newborns are confined to  for 15 to  30 minutes daily so that their lungs get strengthened.  I should imagine that a duty nurse there  would be  going  around pinching every baby that doesn't cry.

 

            This gives me a great idea.  The population of India is around 1.2 billion as of now.  And yet, we have not produced  even one  single runner to bring home  a medal of sorts in any Olympics ever since Olympics was introduced. It's a shame,  I agree. The reason possibly is that we chaps have very weak lungs !

 

            Therefore, it is for consideration that every hospital in India may keep the newborns for at least ten days and send them for crying sessions twice a day for half an hour at a time.  We would then produce plenty of top runners  both short distance and long distance and both boys and girls with  extra strong  lungs when they grow up.  Of course, the government  should bear the charges for the extra hospitalization period and debit it to the ‘sports budget'.

 

           There is another medical discovery in recent time, I understand:  weeping is a cure for several diseases.  So, next time you get a fever or tummy upset, all you have to do is lock yourself inside your toiler  (Your 'ad hoc weeping room') and weep for about ten minutes.  It is expected that you would come out a healed person. If not, repeat the process until you get healed !!! 

 

            Even otherwise, weeping once in a while acts as a preventive measure, say  the ancient  Indian Ayurvedic books.  Several ailments like cold, sore eyes, chest pain or headache could be cured by liberal shedding of warm tears. May I hope that the United States doesn't go and get a patent for this Indian idea as they did for Yoga and Basmati rice.

 

             Weeping also has the potential to drain away all your emotional stresses and make your various internal organs function  better.  That's why, one feels at peace with oneself and the world after a serious weeping session.  Any young lady would certify to

this magnificent effect.

 

             Also it has been claimed that a woman who breaks into tears at the slightest provocation is less prone to heart attacks and blood pressure problems than the brave ones or menfolk.  Now, are you clear why   ladies live longer?

 

             Whereas we fellows look down upon women just because their eyes go moist when they feel hurt over small little things.  And we all them ‘cry boobies' too.  Quite unjustifiable, I feel.  And to top it all we men have been taking pride over the excellent control we exercise over our ‘crying mechanism'.  How wrong ?

 

             Weep, my friend, weep as often as you can.  Of course, in the privacy of your bathroom  If you want to live longer, make it a point to weep once every alternate day.  And  don't you from today ever dub any weeping man, a ‘sissy'.  Do remember, that he is on the road to a long life.

 

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                                                                               Israel Jayakaran [Sweet grace]