Apparently
“Lavalife is a new vision for single life.” So this budding-journalist
decided to take an inside look at the innovative online community that
is captivating Australians, with already 100,000 active members.
Lavalife Australia, launched in 2000, is based out of Sydney as part of Lavalife Corp. – one of the world's largest meeting services for singles – headquartered in Toronto, Canada. In addition to their online service, Australians can also access Lavalife via telephone.
Until
recently it had never occurred to me that I was the ‘type’ to use
online dating. I hadn’t even used MSN since 2002! However, one lonely
Sunday afternoon after recently having my heart stomped on, a
girlfriend and I hit the vodka and started messing around on the
Lavalilfe website.
The
image I have of online dating is generally a negative one and
understandably, as according to the Creative Industries online
publication Media Culture, “approximately 50% of web users admit to lying online — typically about physical characteristics and attributes.”
Nevertheless online dating is becoming increasingly popular because “the
virtual space provides a refuge for individuals who are unconfident or
ashamed of [any] ‘imperfections’.” Therefore by utilizing the Lavalife
website as a communication channel individuals are able to reveal
hidden sides of character, and share intimate secrets and emotions.
So
using the Lavalife website my friend and I created a unique profile
specific to the three categories available (dating, relationships and
intimate encounters). I was asked to include a
nickname, opening line, short personal blurb, personal details (height,
age, ethnic background) plus a number of detailed questions regarding
pastimes.
Interestingly,
I learnt a lot about myself whilst creating the profiles. Not only was
I required to express precise aspects of my personality, but I was
obliged to describe myself in a positive manner. By stating my
wonderful characteristics I actually began believing them. Thus the
Lavalife experience actually enhanced my self confidence.
Whilst
we were still creating profiles men were already sending ‘smiles’, mail
messages and instant messages asking all manner of things. My favourite
would have to be: “I like your shoes, lets have sex.” I am fairly
partial to my shoes; suffice to say that he was an instant BLOCK.
[BB]
A
few days later on a whim I decided to log on and check my messages. To
my utter amazement I had a number of messages – the majority of which
were men simply seeking a degree of companionship.
Most
of their profiles stated such things as “Prince Charming looking for
his Princess” or “Wanted lady for fun times…apply within” For this
reason I decided to reply (hey it’s free once they contact you) to a
number of them.
Even
though I was expecting the worst, I found that most of the men simply
wanted to chat, have a laugh and maybe get to know a woman who may or
may not be their future lady.
Although
I have come across my share of rather strange fellows, like the man who
wrote, “I dreamt about a car, a beach, a river, a skirt exciting....and
sexy.....I am so hot for it right now, are you?”
Or
those who for example like to imagine me being intimate with someone
taboo such as my uncle. Then there was the fellow who sent me a picture
of his dog….and this lady friend….well you get the idea I am sure.
Thank the Lord for BLOCK.
There
also appear to be numerous men that although in a relationship want to
“sow their wild oats before committing” so they look for lovers
interested in discrete casual encounters to fulfil their sexual desires.
These
were the men I found truly perplexing, the “attached (partner not
included)”. I ask these men if their girlfriends/wives know what they
are doing and most are shocked I would ask such a thing. Many explain
that their sex lives are “dull”, “boring” and their partners “have no
idea what they are doing”. Oh, well that is completely understandable
then. Ahem….
But,
ladies do not despair! The encounters already mentioned are few and far
between. One lovely man explained how he remained faithful in a long
term relationship until the end, even though his partner was physically
unable to have sex. Now this is what I call love.
Another
explained that for years he had dated women who were only interested in
the way he looked. “This is all well and good when you’re young” he
told me, “but now I just wanna settle down, have a family and grow old
with someone.” So he created a profile (minus the picture) and has had
a number of relationships based on the personality connection found via
Lavalife.
It
can definitely be said that not all the men I’ve met on Lavalife are
the lonely heart, sexual deviant fanatics I had always assumed would
use online dating. More often than not these men are intelligent,
charming, passionate and entertaining. Simply put: with the daily
strain of modern life some of the most fabulous men turn to online
dating as an uncomplicated trouble-free method to meet single women
with similar aspirations.
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