Having children. Yes or no?

Perhaps I am not qualified to write this article. After all, I'm a single 23 year old girl who has never even gone steady with a good man before.

I am often sceptical about having children. For one thing, the childbirth must be painful. For another, I imagine their teenage years when they will be wilful and rebellious. I also imagine all the money that I can save if not for them. All my money will be spent just on myself. Isn't that great?

I have often questioned couples' decisions to have children. Is it because of religion or their upbringing from their parents? That this is the natural cycle, and that this is the normal route? Or is it because they just want to feel fulfilled as a human being, to go forth and multiply, then they will feel complete? Or is it because deep within them, they have cherished hopes and dreams that were destroyed along the way at some point or other? Hopes and dreams......that they can fulfil through their children, perhaps?

These are my doubts. And I often ponder. And think. And ponder again.

I mean, even if one gets married, isn't a couple world that just belongs to two magnificicent? In fact, I was so sceptical that I wrote in my blog a response to emotional letters addressed "Dear Mummy" written by pro-life activists. This is what I wrote:

Dear Mummy,

I am your little baby and I am in Heaven now. It's nice in Heaven Mummy. Since I will go back to Heaven when I'm dead if I'm good, can't I remain in Heaven, Mummy?

It's not that I don't love you Mummy. I do. It's just that I may become obsessed with money, Mummy. Or be aroused by sex and go around as I like every night. I also want to save you all the heartaches that I may bring to you and Daddy. I want to save you all the stabs in the heart and the tears in your eyes. So why not just let me be, Mummy? Where I will remain in Heaven.

Love,

Your baby

I wrote this. And read it again. And again. But then there was just one night when I was alone in my room. And I heard the patter of tiny feet. A baby crying. Laughter in the house. A whole family playing together.

That flash came. Just a flash. But it left an ache. A ache that I still remember.

Does this flash come to you too? Just at these little moments and times? Sometimes I wonder, what if my baby was in hell now? And he or she had been good in hell and now had a chance to go Heaven. Was my letter wrong then? Or what if my child went to another mother and had to suffer because I didn't give birth to him?

I suppose I am thinking too much. Yet, further on, as I grow up more and grow wiser, perhaps I will start thinking and tell my baby:" My dear baby, you must learn how to live on Earth. Mummy will teach you how. And that's because Mummy loves you very very much."

And then a family will be formed. And another and another. The best way that each and every one of us know how, when we use our own experiences to guide our little ones.

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Crystal says on 2007-03-03 03:08:13 about To Laurenjaye: I believe that there are three groups of people when it comes to the decision of having children. 1) Confused 2) Think of it as the natural cycle 3) Plan everything properly and in detail before the process

Laurenjaye says on 2005-10-23 23:08:42 about Children? Hmmm I like the idea that you are questioning whether to have children , more thought and preparation should definitely go into it - I agree with what Jason said. But i have to say - I was confused at times by what you were saying. I thought it sounded as though you have had an abortion or adopted your child out or something - great topic, you need to be more clear about what your saying though!

Jason says on 2005-10-14 02:14:10 about Having children Hi there; I think that although you have laid a finger on a very interesting topic, your views have been somewhat too concise. Anyways, I strongly suggest anyone who thinks of having children to very very strongly reconsider the repurcusions. Many a times parents with low incomes are the ones that produce more children. This is a very very sad fact as we all know that having a child requires a lot of investment in time and money, both seriously in short supply with people with low socioeconomic backgrounds. We have to remember that these children in future become a burden to their parents and society. We pay taxes that need to run the country; unfortunately many of our tax money goes maintaining our socioeconomic standards and social security. Imagine this would a parent in low socioeconomic standard go and buy an BMW? why? because he/she cannot afford it...same here with children. An average child cost between $100000 to $300000 in maintainance. The rest of the money is partly footed by the government; who strangely does not address this problem. Sadly, the government would happily increase taxes to support this wrongful decision by these misguided people of low socioeconomic standards

Tara says on 2005-09-21 13:40:12 about ? What the hell.

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