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Promises, Lies and Accusations

 article about Promises, Lies and Accusations
2004-03-08 19:20:26

Complexity in romantic relationships is something we are well versed with and are probably used to, from cheating and pressure to interference from parents and friends.

Now its almost a fashion for men to offer excuses and apologies and women to rely on accusations, questioning their ability to trust or believe their partner. A dichotomy with no apparent solution.

Men often find themselves stopped at the door with questions as to where they have been and what they have been doing. The excuses of "I had to meet a friend on my way home," and " there was a lot of traffic," often fall on deaf ears. Regardless of the reason, the result is often distrust.

As much as men might try to explain their apparent failures to comply with relationship expectations, they are ultimately resistant to accept the validity of the complaints. Women, however, not only explain and apologize for their shortcomings in meeting relationship obligations, but also accuse their male partners of not being understanding of the situation which caused the problem.

Despite their apparent arrogance, men are often awed by their female partners, and quite often ask few questions, resulting in an unequal relationship and ultimately in insecurity for the male partner. Johansen from Stockholm attributes this problem to one that often results in the end of relationships.

Caroline, writing from Melbourne, comments that women are more interested in love from their partners, but it can be difficult as a committed man, completely in love, can end up worshiping his partner, which can result in unreasonable expectations.

Although I agree with Carol, that men tend to take their time and when they decide, they stick, but I feel they often expect less from their partners at that point, and are easily satisfied with a smile and a kiss from their partner after a long, tense day.

Its common for men to come home, eagerly open the door, and rush to find their partner for a passionate welcome. But its just as easy to notice a mans dissatisfaction. Men are polite, sensitive creatures, who can easily notice what is amiss with their partners and will quickly attempt to define the problem. Women, however, will often wait for a man to express his grievances before dealing with a problem in the relationship.

Our reader Maggie observes that men are always the guilty party at first sight, and quick to develop a defense. We can all understand her point of view.

Women want unconditional love, and they rush to accusations for fear of competition from other women in their mans life. They seen to never know when they have the unconditional love they crave.

Let me hear from our other The Cheers readers, to explore the other sides of this issue.

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