12/15/2004
Night Before Christmas
It was the night before Christmas and all through the house.
There was crashing and clatter as the cat chased the mouse.
I sprang from my bed and dashed down the hall,
In time to hear some ornaments fall.
The mouse was perched on the star so high,
Up the tree went the cat- tinsel and ornaments did fly.
I dove over the couch in hopes to catch the tree,
While my wife stood in the doorway, yelling at me.
The packages were strewn all over the floor.
For the life of me, I couldn't see where we would put more.
All of a sudden we heard the doorbell ring.
Out of the living room I did spring.
I crossed the foyer, threw open the door.
There stood my daughter, she was dressed like a whore.
The wind was blowing, the snow piled high.
Part of the roof caved in, now there was sky.
I called the contractor, the roof to repair.
It was colder than hell in the wind-whipped air.
He promised to send men that very same day.
They came to the door- Pedro, Jesus and Juan- not a word of English could anyone say.
I pointed up to the roof, you could see my breath puff.
They thought I gave them the finger and they left in a huff.
I became frantic as my wife continued to harp.
Up to the roof and stretch out a tarp.
Down to the kitchen to get some hot tea.
That my wife was upset was clear to see.
We looked at each other not knowing what to say.
As our daughter announced that she decided she was gay.
Grandma and grandpa arrived right at dawn.
As usual he parked his car in middle of my lawn.
Drunken Uncle Harry just babbled away.
He was so sloshed you couldn't understand a word he did say.
My wife and her mother said breakfast would be in three shakes.
There was platter after platter of her damn pumpkin pancakes.
I know it is Christmas, such a wonderful day,
But I breathed a big sigh as they all drove away.
We could hear them from here as they drove out of sight.
Grandma and grandpa were in their usual fight.
The wife and I crawled into bed, and try as we might,
There was nothing merry about Christmas as she kissed me good night.
I leaned over to her and whispered in her ear,
"What do say, honey, can we cancel Christmas next year?"
Happy Holidays!
---------------------------------------------
Walt
www.waltlange.com
"Help! I am a prisoner of my own imagination!"
Politics
Factzone: The truth about Kim Jong Il
Kim Jong Il, the leader of the free world, has decided to move on to more fertile grounds, leaving with us just the memories of 8-color rainbows, singing Korean women and couple of nuclear weapons. But who was this man whose next ambition would have been to get the next Nobel Peace prize? Here are just a few facts you should know about.
more
Top 5 Conspiracy Theories Related to John F. Kennedy's Assassination
26.Aug 2011
Since just after the assassination of John F. Kennedy, conspiracy theories abou...read
ISRAEL KEEPING GHADDAFI AFLOAT
10.Mar 2011
...read
Glen Beck Is NOT the Anti-Christ!
10.Mar 2011
Hurtful and fiery rhetoric is now media’s default setting! This slippery and m...read
Recipe for A REVOLUTION! (10 easy steps - try not to get burned!)
28.Feb 2011
Rebellion is cooking in the air. People are mad as hell, and not going to take...read
Opinion
World governments charged with criminal negligence (in response to Megaupload case)
EARTH (thecheers.org) - Federal authorities of the universe have charged the governments of all the countries in the world as well as the operators actually in power in these countries with operating a criminal enterprise, the Galaxy warriors announced Today.
more
The Great OSCARS 2011 – or so it would seem
5.Mar 2011
So, how exciting......a morning off, the Academy Awards. I wish I could say the...read
Top 7 Expensive Bordellos. Prostitution: Shakedown, Tier Down, and Priced Out
31.Jan 2011
According to a report of the Washington DC-based US Department of State, The Ph...read
The Great Secret and Reason for the JFK Assassination
11.Oct 2010
The great question is why the great secret? On June 4 1963, President Kennedy s...read
Don't Do it! The 3 Worst Times to Get Tattoos
4.Oct 2010
As a general rule, tattoos gotten after 2 am are a bad idea. But in a bigger pi...read
|
Travel
Travel Warning 13 September 2010 - DO NOT TRAVEL TO IRAN
13.Sep 2010
TRAVELWISE has been watching the situation in Iran for some months in relation ...read
more
TRAVELWISE TRAVEL ADVISORY 5th June 2010. DO NOT TRAVEL TO ISRAEL.
5.Jun 2010
Given the recent incident whereby the Israeli intelligence agency, Mossad, used...read
TRAVELWISE. 16 APRIL 2010. EUROPEAN TRAVEL ALTERNATIVES
16.Apr 2010
Travelwise issues the following advice in relation to cancelled flights to, fro...read
TRAVELWISE 6 APRIL 2010. AUSTRALIAN AIR TRAVEL. THE BEST WAYS TO TRAVEL BY AIR IN AUSTRALIA.
5.Apr 2010
Regular readers might have seen and read the various advisory and no-fly notice...read
TRAVELWISE 2 APRIL 2010. QANTAS.
2.Apr 2010
Some concerns have been raised in relation to some of the maintenance practices...read
No Payoff From the Playoffs
$16.50 will Get Anyone in the Hall Mr McGwire
Stupid Athlete Tricks
Think Big! Think the World's Largest International Trade Show
Top 9 cool laptop accessories for laptop geeks
Twittering: I'm not that interesting
Cheers
|
