Thank you for reading thecheers.org's Entertainment articles.

Article by





In this article Steve discusses Danny tells his Dad about his engagement.


Danny tells his Dad about his engagement

 article about Danny tells his Dad about his engagement
2013-03-10 11:15:28
Danny Horoputz, age 63, visits his 90 year old father, Steve in his nursing home, called "Fields of Yellow Snow."

Danny: "Hi, Dad, how ya feeling?"
Dad: "Who are you?"
Danny: "Dad, I'm your son."
Dad: "The legitimate one or the bastard?"
Danny: "You have an illegitimate son?"
Dad: "Never mind."
Danny: "I'm the legitimate one. 100% kosher!"
Dad: "Kosher? Then I can eat you?"


Danny: "Relax Dad. How is your memory:?"
Dad: "My what?"
Danny: "your memory."
Dad: "Mammary? You putz....men don't have mammaries!"
Danny: "Whatever...."
"Dad, how is your girlfriend here.?"

Dad: "You mean the nurse with the big tits?"
Danny: "Wow. Are you intimate with her?"
Dad: "No......I just fuck her. No. I'm not intimate with her at this very moment, ass you can see, my dim-witted son."
Danny: "Wow, I guess a guy never forgets how to screw."
Dad: "Yeah.....when I was on the kibbutz, there was this attractive, seductive chicken....."
Danny: "I dont want to hear about it."


Dad: "You know that chick in room 26? Well she insulted me."
Danny: "What did she say.?"
Dad: "She said I was dead."
I said, "you can see that I'm alive, bitch...I'm moving."
"She said, "I dont mean that YOU are dead.....you dick is dead, you putz.""
Then I yelled at her and guess what? She croaked."

Danny: "But I just saw her in room 26. She was sleeping."
Dad: "The staff think she's sleeping. She actually died back in '96!!!
Danny: "She's been dead for 17 years?"

Dad: "Yeah, dont tell the staff."
Danny: "Why not?"
Dad: "Cause I've been fucking her for the last 17 years:)"
Danny: "Necrophilia????"
Dad: "No, her name was Nanette. A French slut."
Danny: "Oh God.....you've been having sex with a cadaver?"
Dad: "It's not so bad.....she moves more than a lot of the other alive chicks here.
And when I push down on her stomach, she makes this groan, like "ahhhhh" :)
I just have to remember to bring a lubricant, like Jello.

Danny: "Oy. With all due respect, Dad, you are one sick mother fucker!"
Dad: "That's the best compliment I've gotten in years."


Danny: "Actually, Dad, I came here for your blessing."
Dad: "Blessing? Who do I look like God?"
Sorry. I'll bless you unless you really fucked up."

Danny: "I hope I didn't.
Well, Dad......you know how you alway said you wanted me to marry Jewish....

Dad: "Yes, and preferably whose family is in the garment business."
Danny: "Well, Dad, I am engaged to a Jew......maybe someone you've heard of....Barry Manilow."
Dad: "The faggot...I mean gay dude?"
Danny: "Yes, Dad, I am marrying a wonderful, talented, sensitive, kind, loving Jewish man."
Dad: "Oy veh....the horror! Is his mother sexually active?"
Danny: "Very much so!!!"
Dad: "How do you know?"
Danny: "Well when when the 3 of us went to Venice......Never mind! :)
Well, actually, she runs a brothel in Las Vegas."

Dad: "The bitch runs a brothel? Can I get a discount?"
Danny: "Definitely. : 20%"
Dad: "Think you could get me 25%? Just tell her it's a mitzvah. She'll understand...she's Jewish."

Danny: "Dad.......what about my blessing?"
Dad: "What blessing?"
Danny: "Do you give me your blessing for Barry and me to get married?"

Dad: "Well, let me do the math:
It's a dude. Not good.
He's queer as a three dollar bill. Not good.
Everyone knows he's gay. Not good.
It's an embarrassment to our family. Not good.
I can get a 25% discount on hookers in Vegas.....
.....OK, my son, I give you my blessing!!!

When can I start fucking hookers?"

Also, Barry's mother....do you think she'll let me do her?"

Danny: "Absolutely.....I mean, if she let me...........never mind."

Dad: "OK. Great. I bless you!!"
But I have to have 24/7 sexual access to Barry's 95 year old mother. And you have to provide me with unlimited KY-Jelly, or, at least WD-40.......the high mileage type. Jello, only as a last resort."

Danny: "Thanks Dad. I will always love you and respect you."
Dad: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz



*****************************

Copywrong: 2013 Seymour LipSchitz. and Taiwanese attorney: Dong Hung Lo.
plus comedic consultant: R. U. Kidding.




have your say


more in Entertainment
Jingle contest offers $25 000 for the winner, but you could win $10k just for voting
Danny tells his Dad about his engagement

If you are a legal resident of any of the 50 United States or the District of Columbia and are at least 18 years old, you should head over to Folgers website and sign up for a voting reminder.

American students are the beast in the world

These are actually test responses by 16 year old American high school students.

How to Play…Bingo!

For many years now bingo has been the sort of game that has been stereotyped as "an old people's pastime", where the elderly would go along to a bingo hall with the hope of having a bit of fun and winning a few pounds along the way.

Logical Reasons why god MUST exist

I happened to end up on a site that lists literally hundreds of proofs of god's existence. I took the liberty to introduce you some of the ones that make the most sense.

François-Auguste-Rene Rodin's sculptures up for sale at Bukowskis
Danny tells his Dad about his engagement

François-Auguste-René Rodin, more known to the public as Auguste Rodin, is the progenitor of modern sculpture. His works will be featured in the upcoming major sculpture sale as part of the Marabou Collection on December 4, 2012 at Bukowskis in Stockholm.

thecheers.org

Welcome to TheCheers! We've been around for a long time now, since 2004, publishing articles by people from all over the world. Roughly 300 people from 30 different countries have written for us over the years. Should you want to become a volunteer contributor, be sure to contact us!

Educational resources
Entertainment Blogs
get in touch

You can contact us via The Cheers Facebook page or The Cheers NEW Twitter account.