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Big Tobacco claims there's no smoke in their cigarettes

 article about big tobacco
2018-03-09 04:28:26


Washington, Dec 29th 2016. Research conducted by independent research facility in Switzerland reveals that there's no smoke in their cigarettes and they have started law suits against everyone who have ever sued them and gotten money due to the verdicts. The research also clearly showed that there's no tobacco in tobacco products.

The past two decades have really been difficult for Big Tobacco. Lawsuits against them have been overwhelming and have almost crippled them. Starting from the second-hand smoke to first-hand cancer and all imaginable in between them. They have paid out billions to ease the pain of those who are suffering. And when doing so, they really believed they were paying out for a good cause. The law suits were just for a show, just to make sure only people who actually smoked and were hurt by their products, would get compensated for their pain.

Read more: Weird science: People drink more when sober

Swiss research consortium, supported by Big Tobacco (only because nobody else was ready to support them), has been studying the effects of tobacco for the past 10 years and finally they have found a definite conclusion, definite result, they have finally managed to complete a research that requires no further research.

What did they find out? They found out that their products are as harmless as newly born babies. After making tests for years, they noticed that the cigarettes are sold in closed packages and if you don't open them, you won't get in contact with tobacco at all, thus proving the point that cigarettes, unless used, contain no obvious tobacco. And not only, even if you decide to open the package, but are clever enough not to light the cigarette up, it contains no smoke whatsoever!

Read more: Unexplained science: Chocolate cures, kills and annoys

Initially cigarettes were manufactured for collectors only and were meant for decorating your house as well as yourself. Putting a cigarette in your mouth was also considered as cool add-on to oneself, just like earrings or tattoos. They were never meant to be lit up.

Why did it take Big Tobacco so long to admit it? This question is rather simple one to answer - which business enterprise would like to admit that people didn't understand what their product was supposed to do? So they just went with a flow. And the first 30 years they simple couldn't understand how the users of their cigarettes manage to get this weird type of effects out of their cigarettes, effects like diseases, smoke, tobacco....they simple couldn't see what they are talking about.

Read more: Fake-news author killed by 3 one-legged prostitutes

Finally, Big Tobacco is off the hook and the people who misused their product and collected millions in penalties from Big Tobacco, will be sued and the money will most likely have to be given back to Big Tobacco.




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