Sex workers forced to save the world from financial crises

Prostitution isn't the world's oldest profession without a reason. Yesterday NATO announced that continuing financial crises could cause unrest around the world and there's nothing much even this big and powerful organization can do about it, unless...we force the representatives on the world's oldest profession to help us.

As soon as the host (South Africa) of the next Football World Cup heard about it, they got to work and the first step has been taken. Almost 40 000 sex workers around the globe, mainly from Africa and Russia have been called out to cater to the fans and other men in need during the sex, sorry, football championship. In addition to obviously high amount of sex workers, billions of condoms have been ordered and by the end of the day, this event all by itself will help to ease the financial difficulties of countries around the world.

The press release sent out by NATO yesterday suggested that we need to get up to 300 million sex workers on the pay roll of different countries. So far 75 countries around the world have accepted the challenge and almost 65 million sex workers have signed up. "My country needs me, so I'm here for her, " explained Julia, experienced sex worker from Russia's Siberian area. Others have not been so willing, but even they understand the immediate need for their help. Currently homeless newcomer from New York said to our respected magazine that "I'm new to the game, but I like sex, and I love my country. God save America! And if he needs help with that, I'm ready to spread my legs as wide open as uncle Sam needs me to."

There have been some criticism over the NATOs decision. For one, European Union isn't happy with its quota - they are limited to offering only 50 million sex workers from their side and they feel it's 25% below what they would need to overcome the crises. Australia says their demand is already too high and they need to bring in people from other countries. Zimbabwe's president just said "Whooooohoooo!" and Somalian pirates promised to stop kidnapping the ships on their coast and start providing them with women, for the right price.

The financial crises is expected to be over by December 11th, 2010. Some analysts, however, feel it might happen even sooner.

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