Five years on film

Critics would point out glaring discrepencies in the script. The continuity editor would be sacked, never to work again in the industry. Never mind that the actors too seem to be a bit wooden. When they speak their dialogue, it simply doesn't ring true. Indeed, if the real life events played out on the world stage post nine-eleven were a motion picture, then the film would be a stinker, to be sure.

First of all, the movie can't seem to decide on a villain. The hero, diversely, if we choose to accept him as such, is the President of the United States of America, the most powerful man in the free world, George Bush.  For those of you who may have been living in a cave for the past six years, he is the tough talking Texan that is on the television constantly, the one who has the I.Q. of a dung-beetle. His performance comes somewhere between Howdy Doody as himself and George C. Scott as Patton.

...article continued after illustration... 

Illustration by Thomas Nicholson, click here.

And what of the tall, bearded Saudi Arabian who has apparently, quite literally been living in a cave for the past six years? Hiding out, as it were; gone to ground?  That manufactured evil-doer they want us to accept as the villain, the man who the world knows as Osama bin Laden?  He seemed to be an integral part of the plot in the first reel of this opus, but the audience seems to have all but forgotten about him now.

Our dubious hero told the audience at the outset, right after all the opening carnage that this evil man would be brought to justice, but that hasn't happened. Instead, he found another manufactured villain, one Saddam Hussein, hiding in a drainpipe in an entirely different country than the one he ought to have been looking for bin Laden in. If the viewing audience can recall, our hero was pretty darned certain that the fellow behind all those crashing planes and carnage at the beginning of the story was the criminally insane Saudi millionaire / Muslim zealot, Osama bin Laden, and we were also informed that the suicidal hijackers of said planes that carried out his nefarious plans were Saudi Arabian by birth.

Now it would seem to me that if he was sincere about seriously apprehending this baddie and his cronies, Iraq should have been way down on his hide and seek check-list. Maybe penciled in somewhere between Luxembourg and Norway.  The whole scene with him making these claims was reminiscent of O.J. Simpson's (whatever became of him, anyone know?) Oscar-worthy performance wherein he claimed that he would personally bring the real killer(s) of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman to justice, even if he had to look on every golf course in America in order to find them. Remember that movie? Talk about a surprise ending! Bush cannot come close to Mr. Simpson when it comes to acting. It is like comparing Pee Wee Herman to Robert De Niro. I mean, O.J. was convincing in that role. I personally didn't believe it, but a jury did, and who am I anyway? Regardless, you have to respect his performance.

So here we are more than five years on since the movie started, and the audience is more than a little confused. The pace of the film is erratic, and it didn't help to have all those natural disasters happening. I suppose the film-makers threw in those hurricanes and earthquakes into the plot to try to disguise the fact that the plot line isn't very credible, but it just served to make the audience I was part of squirm in their seats. In the time that has elapsed, this audience seems to have forgotten about all those innocent victims of the atrocious crimes that opened this film. And that brings this reviewer to his final comment: How should this motion picture be categorized? Is it a comedy? At some points it has seemed uproariously funny, but not constantly. Is it a tragedy? At some points it has moved me to tears, but it is not a bona-fide tear-jerker. Is it a horror? Yes, because since it started and all the way through it, I have been scared shitless. And the most terrifying thing about it is it still isn't over yet.

Share this article

Tags: world   Life   america   Family   comedy   Film   Movie   Funny   

Politics Factzone: The truth about Kim Jong Il Kim Jong Il, the leader of the free world, has decided to move on to more fertile grounds, leaving with us just the memories of 8-color rainbows, singing Korean women and couple of nuclear weapons. But who was this man whose next ambition would have been to get the next Nobel Peace prize? Here are just a few facts you should know about. more Top 5 Conspiracy Theories Related to John F. Kennedy's Assassination 26.Aug 2011 Since just after the assassination of John F. Kennedy, conspiracy theories abou...read ISRAEL KEEPING GHADDAFI AFLOAT 10.Mar 2011 ...read Glen Beck Is NOT the Anti-Christ! 10.Mar 2011 Hurtful and fiery rhetoric is now media’s default setting! This slippery and m...read Recipe for A REVOLUTION! (10 easy steps - try not to get burned!) 28.Feb 2011 Rebellion is cooking in the air. People are mad as hell, and not going to take...read THE ASSANGE CASE. CIA INTERFERED WITH SWEDISH LEGAL PROCESSES EXTREME RIGHT POLITICS A DANGER TO EUROPEAN UNITY THE AUSTRALIAN LABOR PARTY. OUT OF TOUCH, OUT OF FOCUS, OUT OF CREDIBILITY AND HOPEFULLY, OUT OF THE DOOR Opinion World governments charged with criminal negligence (in response to Megaupload case) EARTH (thecheers.org) - Federal authorities of the universe have charged the governments of all the countries in the world as well as the operators actually in power in these countries with operating a criminal enterprise, the Galaxy warriors announced Today. more The Great OSCARS 2011 – or so it would seem 5.Mar 2011 So, how exciting......a morning off, the Academy Awards. I wish I could say the...read Top 7 Expensive Bordellos. Prostitution: Shakedown, Tier Down, and Priced Out 31.Jan 2011 According to a report of the Washington DC-based US Department of State, The Ph...read The Great Secret and Reason for the JFK Assassination 11.Oct 2010 The great question is why the great secret? On June 4 1963, President Kennedy s...read Don't Do it! The 3 Worst Times to Get Tattoos 4.Oct 2010 As a general rule, tattoos gotten after 2 am are a bad idea. But in a bigger pi...read

Travel Travel Warning 13 September 2010 - DO NOT TRAVEL TO IRAN 13.Sep 2010 TRAVELWISE has been watching the situation in Iran for some months in relation ...read more TRAVELWISE TRAVEL ADVISORY 5th June 2010. DO NOT TRAVEL TO ISRAEL. 5.Jun 2010 Given the recent incident whereby the Israeli intelligence agency, Mossad, used...read TRAVELWISE. 16 APRIL 2010. EUROPEAN TRAVEL ALTERNATIVES 16.Apr 2010 Travelwise issues the following advice in relation to cancelled flights to, fro...read TRAVELWISE 6 APRIL 2010. AUSTRALIAN AIR TRAVEL. THE BEST WAYS TO TRAVEL BY AIR IN AUSTRALIA. 5.Apr 2010 Regular readers might have seen and read the various advisory and no-fly notice...read TRAVELWISE 2 APRIL 2010. QANTAS. 2.Apr 2010 Some concerns have been raised in relation to some of the maintenance practices...read Sport No Payoff From the Playoffs $16.50 will Get Anyone in the Hall Mr McGwire Stupid Athlete Tricks Technology Think Big! Think the World's Largest International Trade Show Top 9 cool laptop accessories for laptop geeks Twittering: I'm not that interesting Cheers Jesus' Answering Machine Brown Couch or twelve midgets in the town square How To Be Happy Drugged Out Saturday Nights Muslim Decapitation: Bad, or Simply Misunderstood?

	Post Comment    Your nickname    About what    Your comment   Are you human? How much is 1 + 2?