Blood ReaperDVD
*
Directed by
Lory-Michael Ringuette
Written by
Douglas Hensley
Lory-Michael Ringuette
Cast
Charlene Amoia .... Kristi
Jerri Badenhop .... Katie
Peter Carlstrom .... Vadim
Michael Fuller .... The Reaper
August Hanks .... Jim
Bobby Mackey .... Randall Dewey
Bernard Mann .... Wesley
Cameron McHarg .... Tim
Alison Moon .... Leann
Emalie Ortega .... Molly
Lory-Michael Ringuette .... Park Ranger
Michelle Rudy .... Office lady
Terry Rudy .... Copy boy
Micki Schloss .... Mr. Baldwin
Mark Siegel .... Don
Brinke Stevens .... Sosha
J.W. Stewart .... Deputy Kolbeck
R
80 mins
Behold...the
power of cheesy movies filmed on a camcorder with someone's allowance
money and on the strength of a script so ridiculous that I wouldn't
line a birdcage with it.
Truly, I dislike movies like these.
You'd think that if you didn't have a very strong budget for things
like special effects or cinematography or actual actors you'd just go
hogwild on the script and get the very best one you could. But no, of
course not. Blood Reaper is one more in a long string of poorly
planned, poorly executed, and ultimately poorly realized movies that
shouldn't even have been produced.
So anyway, what we have here
is the story of five good friends who went on a camping trip. I know, I
know...we're not five minutes in and already it sounds far too familiar
for anyone's taste. Think about how I felt when I put it in my DVD
player. But these five good friends make the serious strategic blunder
of setting up camp on the grave of one of history's most horrifying
serial killers, which doesn't make things any easier on them, as the
serial killer comes back to life somehow (yes, I know I said
"somehow"--it's that abrupt) and sets off to kill the five good friends
who have the temerity to camp on an unmarked grave.
Better yet,
they're there at just the right time. Amazingly, JUST the right time.
We're talking about a time so incredibly right that it defies
coincidence. The killings always start up on a full moon during a leap
year. Of course, when are our good friends camping? On a night with a
full moon. During a leap year.
Oh man....
It's just one
more slasher flick. Seriously...that's all we've got here. One more
brick in an endless wall of slasher flicks where the killer is almost
invincible, and all but a handful of principle characters die before
the end, possibly so that a sequel can be shot featuring the same
incredibly pointless concept.
Indeed, one of my own personal
rules comes back to bite us all in our collective hind ends: "If Brinke
Stevens appears anywhere within the movie, you may consider her as a
vulture, circling endlessly above it all and marking clearly the
presence of cinematic carrion close at hand."
Check out the
laughfest of a country music song around the twenty two minute mark. I
can't believe this! It's a redeeming feature! This song is so damn
funny that I can hardly think straight.
I hate to beat a dead
horse--it gets nobody nowhere (the whipping AND the horse alike, ba DUM
bum!)--but this is truly just one more slasher flick. The script is
poorly written. The actors are stiff and wooden, barely performing
their trite and cliche lines with anything resembling believability,
and don't even ASK about the quality of the special effects. Seriously,
don't ask - because there's no answer! There ARE no special effects.
The
ending is a horribly executed mishmash of survival horror, escape
attempts, last-ditch confrontations, several minutes of pointless
screaming, flashbacks to events that happened only seconds prior,
hopelessly ineffective combat maneuvers and killing.
GUESS who
the last survivor is! In an incredible twist ending that actually gave
me just a moment of respect for Blood Reaper, the last survivor is
someone you wouldn't suspect in a million years.
The special features is nonexistent - not a subtitle, deleted scene, trailer or audio option to be had on the whole disk.
All
in all, if you're into mindless, pointless slasher flicks for whatever
the reason, be it mockery or sheer enjoyment of mindless bloodsport,
then Blood Reaper is going to be exactly what you're looking for. For
anyone else, just pass this one on by. Funny songs and surprise endings
can't redeem this one from the cinematic slag heap.
Steve's columns are entirely self-supported.
Tags:
reviews movies film horror 
