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Technology can byte my arse

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Article published on 1st January 1978 in CHEERS          


















Article by
Journalist
The technological revolution has electronics manufacturers out doing each other almost on a daily basis. What is the best and fastest today will be ancient technology tomorrow. It is a global game of 'King of The Hill.' Who is the best? Who offers more for less? Who can get it done the fastest? Electronics manufacturers are at war with one another and we reap the benefits of it and, at the same time, we are also casualties of that war.

Companies are downsizing because technology now does a job that a person once did. Good bye to the age old concept of people serving every function within a company. Consumers demand more for less, and the only way for companies to answer that call is to stay competitive by saving money and to fatten up the bottom line. This usually means a company must reduce it’s manpower as an effort to achieve this goal.

Still, with all of what today’s technological advancements have to offer, there are some areas that need improving, such as the automated phone system. I really get annoyed with some of these systems. They bombard you with a vast array of options and menus to choose from. "If you would like to speak to a customer service representative, please press one now." Beep. "I’m sorry, but no humans work here. Please choose another option." Beep. "I’m sorry, but that option is not offered. Please try again." Beep, beep, beep... "You seem aggravated and this system isn’t designed to address that. Please call back later when you aren’t so hostile." Doesn’t anyone just answer the phone anymore?

I also get annoyed with the pre-screening that some of these automated phone systems do. They ask for your phone number and when you are able to speak to a real life person, the person asks for your phone number again. What was the point in the system asking me for my phone number if it didn’t do the live person any good? Should I be expecting this automated system to call me someday and say "Hi, Mike. How’s the wife and kids? If they are fine, please press one now"...

Don’t you just love it when the automated phone system keeps you on hold for a lengthy amount of time. A recorded voice, finally, interrupts the elevator music and says, "Please continue to hold. We’ll be with you shortly. If you would like to continue to hold, please press one now." The voice encourages you the way a Lamaze Coach encourages a woman giving birth: "Okay. Just a little longer now. You’re doing great. Breathe. Breathe. Okay, now push..."

Soon we’ll all be living like the Jetsons and everything in our lives will be automated. Rosie the Robot will be serving up your favorite dish while Astro embarrasses you by licking himself in front of company. The future won’t be all bad, though. You’ll be able to drive a flying car to work and tell Mr. Spacely to kiss Uranus.

Well I have kept you away long enough from all of the advancements in technology that occured while you read this article. Hell, by now a machine is probably finishing this article for me. Have a great week and keep reading The Cheers.

If you enjoyed this article, please press one now....

            



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some dude




some dude says on 2009-06-04 15:03:04 about fuck me harder
wahhahahahaha+






fuck me harder




fuck me harder says on 2009-06-04 14:58:20 about sex
AWWWWWW ORGASM!!!!






some dude




some dude says on 2009-06-04 14:56:54 about your mom
dat was great night!






little d




little d says on 2009-06-02 11:17:18 about technology
This article has alot of good facts but what does birth have ton do with this....






vig




vig says on 2009-05-22 03:23:56 about technology
All the commments aboce are foolish.






Sully




Sully says on 2009-05-16 00:09:45 about idiots
u r all so rude OMG and so immature






Your mother




Your mother says on 2009-05-13 10:39:53 about penises
penis






monkeyman334




monkeyman334 says on 2009-04-29 11:08:44 about testicles
ballz






mortisha




mortisha says on 2009-04-26 19:33:23 about all comments on cock suckers
what is all this talk of cock suckers and shit and just bad language and talk? you all should be better than that. it is not cool at all stop acting like kids. cuss me out of you want to but it don't matter you all are just sick minded folk. some of us need to get information for college papers and essays. don't you all care about anything?






bob




bob says on 2009-04-21 21:36:48 about pie
?






blackball




blackball says on 2009-04-21 15:12:23 about life
it is a wild and weird experience for evry1






wild erraticat




wild erraticat says on 2009-04-06 11:17:17 about infant
what is this site about?






masterbaiter girl




masterbaiter girl says on 2009-04-01 12:48:43 about technology
not cool at all i want a dildo






cookie




cookie says on 2009-03-11 18:27:04 about technology
I did find this site from google though






cookie




cookie says on 2009-03-11 18:25:37 about technology
This helped me write an essay, thanks!






vdogg




vdogg says on 2009-02-23 23:19:49 about articleeeee
i think it was good but ur intro lead to no relevancy to the rest of your article, i too am writing an essay on technology/computers

ANY HELP!? :0






Mr. Boob




Mr. Boob says on 2009-02-13 12:32:35 about Arse Biting
bite my arse.

From Mr. Boob






..=D




..=D says on 2009-02-09 03:32:16 about the dumb as
its kinda freakin obvious that the person
who keeps writtin the negative commnts is the
same person.. get a life anyways i dont see you
writting an article on technology advancements






..=D




..=D says on 2009-02-09 03:31:50 about the dumb as
its kinda freakin obvcious that the person
who keeps writtin the negative commnts is the
same person.. get a life anyways i dont see you
writting an article on technology advancements






Emmy




Emmy says on 2009-02-08 23:48:41 about technology
This article was funny and so true.I think you have a lot of valid points






jackkkkkkkieee




jackkkkkkkieee says on 2009-02-03 13:48:51 about pot roast
i suck at lifeeeeeeee






-




- says on 2009-01-22 18:34:08 about -
KISS rocks.






poopface




poopface says on 2008-12-12 14:13:09 about you
bye






poopface




poopface says on 2008-12-12 14:05:14 about you
I cant believe you wrote this






If you wrote this article, you are a cock sucker




If you wrote this article, you are a cock sucker says on 2008-11-13 13:30:56 about Cock Sucking
you are all COCK SUCKERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!






J-Dick + RiRi




J-Dick + RiRi says on 2008-11-13 10:58:01 about your face
Where da hood at?






yoyoma




yoyoma says on 2008-11-11 18:59:18 about ionno
ya IIIIYAAA!






The Head Cock




The Head Cock says on 2008-11-10 14:06:15 about this gay ass article
yo homes you need to check yoself on this shit. You have no idea what you are talking about so if this is your day job, quit it cause you blow.






be-ach




be-ach says on 2008-11-10 14:04:14 about be-aches
this article blows!!!!!!!!!






hanahhlulu




hanahhlulu says on 2008-11-08 04:14:49 about advancements in technology
could you please help me????????????






<<<




<<< says on 2008-11-03 12:00:46 about
Word...............






m




m says on 2008-10-29 12:46:24 about j
,mn,jhb kj






nnnhhnn




nnnhhnn says on 2008-08-29 15:49:32 about technology
hellloooooooooooooo im bored






booooooooooooooooooooooo




booooooooooooooooooooooo says on 2008-08-26 21:39:17 about boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooooooooooooo






idk




idk says on 2008-08-26 21:38:26 about idk
im so hood






rocks




rocks says on 2008-05-16 11:35:14 about rocks
Rocks!






urkool




urkool says on 2008-03-10 20:44:24 about robots
nanana im soo kool ur al jelous
hahah itchbayss






urkool




urkool says on 2008-03-10 20:44:08 about robots
nanana im soo kool ur al jelous
hahah itchbayss






hh




hh says on 2008-02-11 06:02:28 about hh
hi marcus dea'th






helllllloooooooo




helllllloooooooo says on 2008-02-11 06:01:11 about history
uuuuuuuuu r weired






lastminute essaygirl




lastminute essaygirl says on 2007-11-18 12:33:17 about thanks!
kinda helped me out of a pickle with my economics essay! found it on google haha






handy dandy andy




handy dandy andy says on 2007-04-03 07:10:17 about technology
not cool man









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