Ravings of a Lunatic

People I can do without:

1. People who say Have a nice day after they mug you.

2. Stupid people who think they're smart.

3. People who use phrases like The Michael Jordan's or the Reggie Miller's of the world.

4. People who say Fuck every other word in a 20 minute conversation.

5. Women who wear the exact same outfit because they think it looks cute.

Have you felt like you werent wearing pants? I mean besides the times when you actually werent wearing pants?

I cant see past your yellow donkey, Mr. Gildenstern. Please deflate him and leave my porno store immediately.

Why cant we all just get along? Because we have guns.

Rednecks, beer and hunting rifles are a bad, bad mix.

Whatever happened to that lovely sounding phrase, Your momma?

Who actually shortened mamma to mama? Was that extra .3 nanoseconds of saved writing time worth the effort?

Brian: Would you hold my hand while I pee, Mommy?

Mommy: Brian, youre 35 years old! Stop asking me that!!

There is assisted suicide for the terminally ill. Shouldnt that same option be given for the terminally stupid or the terminally ugly?

I hate stereos with an X-TRA BASS feature. All this button does is add the bass that shouldve been there in the first place.

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