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Queer Eye for the Spiritual Guy

 article about Gay priests
2004-07-12 15:04:44
Five gay priests set out to make over the Episcopal Church - one pedestrian priest at a time.

They
are the Fab Five: an elite team of gay priests dedicated to extolling
the simple virtues of style, taste and class. Each week their mission
is to transform a style-deficient and culture-deprived priest from drab
to fab in each of their respective categories: clerical wear, church
socials, office renovation, liturgy, and Anglican polity. It's a full
priestly makeover a make holier show where lackluster priests turn in
their plain black cassocks for off-white lacy albs, as they learn how
to practice a form of piety that pacifies without provoking. When their
journey is done, a purified priest emerges.

On tonights
episode, the Fab Five will make over The Rt. Rev. Gene Robinson, Bishop
from the Diocese of New Hampshire. While Gene has received much
international media attention as the first openly gay bishop ordained
in the Episcopal Church, he needs to transform his vanilla gay persona
into one fabulous queen.

Following are the challenges that each of our Fab Five see ahead of them in their effort to make over Bishop Robinson.

The Rev. Matty D., Diocese of New York


Office Renovation Dust, dust, dust, everywhere dust. Everything in
Genes office is covered in dust. I mean doesnt he know that cleanliness
is next to godliness? I cant stand looking at this utilitarian office
one second longer. I mean, my office at Trinity Church, Wall Street
always had that that stained glass look, where those I deemed pledge
worthy could truly worship in my presence. And we need to replace these
dusty theological books with something more relevant like say, The
Power of Positive Thinking and copies of The Wall Street Journal. Also,
his desk is missing that critical bottle of sherry that comforts me
after an intense day fundraising for the Cathedral of St. John the
Divine.

The Rev. Carter Ward, Diocese of Massachusetts.

Liturgy


Whats this with The Bible on his desk? Oh, my God. What in the hell can
I do with a bible believer? This may be too much for me to handle.
Remember, Episcopalians worship the Book of Common Prayer - thats BCP
not NIV. Oh, sweet Jesus.

The Rt. Rev. H., J., Diocese of Jacksonville


Church Socials I need to show Gene some good ol' boy lawyering, and
make his rhetoric as smooth as Southern Comfort, so he can rise up
within the House of Bishops with style and grace. As a former
prosecutor, I have access to the right combination of substances, so he
can possess that perfect pastoral smile 24-7. Finally, now that Gene's
got the media spotlight, I can use my experience as a master media
manipulator during 9-11 to teach him how to use the press to satisfy
his own self-interests.

The Rt. Rev. Doogie D., Diocese of Pittsburgh

Anglican Polity My role tonight is simple lets pray like its 1959. Yo' Anglican Communion Network! You go boys!

The Rt. Reverend S. John, Diocese of Newark


Clerical Wear I can offer Gene some fashion and grooming tips that I
gleaned from my years of rabble rousing in front of the camera. Its
important that he learns to look like he cares whenever the media
spotlight is on him. Also, we must get this boy to the gym. When my
body is buff, holistically my mind and spirit are healthier, and I
attract the right sort of people come Convention time. And we must work
on his altar presence. His alb must be lacier and not so drab. Also,
hes got to stop wearing those ecumenical multicolored stoles. Pleaze!
No, no, no. His stole must coordinate with the chasuble and the altar
furnishings. Trust me, if I can get Gene and the altar area in sync
with the liturgical season, then he will look like simply fabulous.

So,
come watch Queer Eye of the Spiritual Guy to see if the Fab Five can
transform an ordinary bishop from drab to fab. Check out Trinity
Television for the actual times and airdates.
(http://www.trinitywallstreet.org/tv/index.shtml)





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