On Saturday night I spent a good deal of time smoking dope and playing Guitar Hero 3.
Near the end of this time, it occurred to me that I might not be reaching the height of my potential.
Wait...let's take a couple of steps back. On Friday night I went home, ate some dinner, smoked my greens and went to a friend’s CD release party. He was playing live and the room was packed with liberal-types (slightly snooty, better than thou intellectuals there to enjoy a show that is NOT part of pop culture.) I was there because I knew the artist and thought it would be cool to watch him jam. I looked like my usual goofy self and I'm guessing, just guessing, that my eyes were barely opened and I was drooling and there was most likely a widening grin on my face that could be attributed to nothing in particular.
While my buddy was playing all I could think was, "Man, while I'm fucking around talking about writing, Mike is out doing something." Mike doesn't think he's going to be famous. He managed to find a way to teach children about music which gave him a chance to play piano and get paid. In his free-time he's writing music and performing.
So Saturday comes and I couldn't shake this feeling that I'm wasting my life. The only things I've done right are: 1) I've graduated from college, and; 2) I've married a fantastic woman who keeps me in line. Everything else has been one miserable fuck-up after another.
Right now I study, work, get high and play World of Warcraft. Occasionally I go salsa dancing with my wife. Rarely, far too rarely, I sit down and write on my book. My dad used to say that I need to get my priorities straight. Maybe he was right. Maybe he was wrong. Who knows? I don't think he'd claim either. Regardless, I think I’m beginning to want to be like Mike when I grow up.
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