Curses! Cubs Again

Article by
Comedian, Juggler, Columnist, GENIUS!
Recently, here in Chicago, a big to do was made about the destruction of the now infamous Bartman Baseball. For those who are unfamiliar with this relic, it is the foul ball that was blamed for causing the Cubs to lose the National League Championship Series last year. Steve Bartman made an attempt to catch the ball and have a fantastic souvenir from a rare Cubs playoff appearance. Thats all he did. His action may or may not have made Moises Alou miss the ball and lead to the demise of the Cubs. Regardless, Bartmans Curse was born.

Steve Bartman, A Chicago E-mail Favorite

I got to thinking about baseball and curses. We all know about the curse on the Red Sox involving the trading of Babe Ruth to the Yankees. But the Cubs seem to have the corner of the market on curses. To some fans, these curses explain why the Cubs havent won a World Series since 1908. If you ask the average Cubs fan if he believes in curses, hell always say,

NO! CURSES BAD DON'T BELIEVE CURSES.

However, whenever something bad befalls the beloved team, the fans take on a rather selective belief in curses.

Theres the famous Goat Curse put on the Cubs by the owners of the Billy Goat Tavern after their goat was denied access to a ballgame. I must say, since that curse didnt come along until 1945, I cant see how that explains the Cubs not winning a World Series since 1908.

The Cubs Got His Goat

The 1980s provided a couple of good seasons marred by the Curse of Steve Garvey & Leon Durhams Curse. A home run and a Buckner-esque bobbled ground ball made all the difference in the world to the cursed Cubs.

Not only do the Cubs have their own Red Sox/Babe Ruth-style curse, but theyve got two of them. In 1964 they foolishly traded future Hall of Famer Lou Brock for future Trivial Pursuit answer, Ernie Broglio, creating Lous Curse. The late 80s provided a GREAT pitching prospect in Greg Maddux. He won his first Cy Young Award in Chicago and things looked great for the Cubbies until the teams owners made little or no effort to retain this future Cooperstown resident. Maddux went to Atlanta and The Great Greg Maddux Curse of 1993 was born.

In 1969, there was the famous "Black Cat Curse," where a fan actually smuggled a black cat into the park and threw it out onto the field, where it crossed paths with Ron Santo. Many believe that it was the cat that caused the Cubs to give up a seemingly insurmountable lead in the National League and lose everything to the Mets. Isn't it funny how nobody blames the cat for Ron Santos absence in the Hall of Fame? Hmmm
[BB]
The deaths of legendary broadcasters Harry Caray and Jack Brickhouse spurred a minor curse of their own. In 1998, Harry Caray, Cubs broadcaster for 16 years, and Jack Brickhouse, Cubs broadcaster for 30+ years, passed away. When the time came for fitting tributes to these great baseball men, Harry got a statue raised in his honor outside of the park, as well as the continuing tribute of the 7th inning stretch guest conductors at the park. There are frequent ceremonies and photos honoring Caray to this day. Brickhouse was honored with signs in the outfield that simply said, "Hey Hey", honoring his famous home run tag. Supposedly this upset the Brickhouse family. The newspaper writers as well as WSCR radio personality Mike North felt that the lesser display of respect for Jack Brickhouse resulted in Jack's Curse. Whether this naming of yet another curse was serious or joking, the Cubs lost to the Braves in the divisional series. Greg Maddux and Jack Brickhouses ghost were no doubt amused.

More recently, the Tribune company (owners of the Chicago Cubs) wanted to make plans for rennovations on Wrigley Field that included putting up opaque windscreens on the outfield fences. These screens blocked the view of the rooftop viewers and Wrigley neighbors, angering them so much that The Rooftop Curse was born.

Even God Believes in Curses!

My favorite tale of Chicago Cubs curses came in the 1989 season (another rare playoff appearance). A fan sent a silly little poem he'd written called "The Hex" to WGN radio. It was a rhyming incantation whereby the reading would temporarily jinx the opposing team and lead to a Cubs victory. DeWayne Staats, the Cubs radio announcer at the time, would bring out The Hex at opportune times and oddly enough, the Cubs would occasionally win. THIS was exactly what the Chicago Cubs needed; a curse they could use to their advantage. It seemed as though the Cubs had it all. That is, until complaints came in from the listeners about how using any sort of spell or hex was black magic and invoked the favor & wrath of the Devil himself. They would not stand for such childish embracing of daemonic arts and demanded The Hex be removed from the broadcast. One complaint letter claimed that "Cubs fans do not condone the black arts and more importantly do not believe in the notion of curses." The Hex was removed. The team went to the playoffs and lost in five games.

Clearly, the Cubs fans have proven one thing to me.

YES. CURSES REAL. MUST BELIEVE IN CURSES!

Now, what would happen if Steve Bartmans goat jumped off of a Chicago rooftop, landing on a Lou Brock rookie card owned by Greg Maddux? I bet Jack Brickhouse would be pissed!



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Andy Martello
I have been writing everything from full length comedy shows to cigar reviews for many years. Not a whole lot of published or pro (paid) pieces, but many things produced (plays, comedy sketches, etc)

A friend of mine once described my writing style as Hunter S. Thompson meets Hemingway. He did not specify Ernest or Mariel Hemingway, but I thought it to be an interesting thing to say. I told him to go easy on the Guinness & shots for awhile.



GOD IS DEAD. HE IS NO MORE. HE IS KAPUT.
There is no such thing as church law, sharia law or any other religious law. The law of the land, Government law, or International law applies. Religious entities simply do not have the legal power or authority to create or apply laws.



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