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			<description><![CDATA[Cheers News feed provided by TheCheers.org]]></description>
			<link>http://www.thecheers.org/section_1_15.html</link>
			<lastBuildDate>Tuesday, 21 October 2008 03:52:07</lastBuildDate>
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<title>Jesus' Answering Machine</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_2803_Jesus-Answering-Machine.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[Even Jesus can't wait by the phone all the time]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Wednesday, 23 July 2008 03:41:09 GMT</pubDate>
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<title>Brown Couch or twelve midgets in the town square</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_2791_Brown-Couch-or-twelve-midgets-in-the-town-square.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[Things can happen either for a reason or without a reason. Happenings can’t happen without anything happening. That’s logical, without a doubt. The following story, however, had a reason, yet it didn’t have one. How can that be? Heck if I know, but by the time you finish reading this piece, you’ll have a pretty darn great idea.]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Tuesday, 22 July 2008 12:46:59 GMT</pubDate>
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<item>
<title>Drugged Out Saturday Nights</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_2746_Drugged-Out-Saturday-Nights.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[On Saturday night I spent a good deal of time smoking dope and playing Guitar Hero 3.  Near the end of this time, it occurred to me that I might not be reaching the height of my potential. ]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Wednesday, 4 June 2008 01:35:50 GMT</pubDate>
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<item>
<title>Muslim Decapitation: Bad, or Simply Misunderstood?</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_2553_Muslim-Decapitation-Bad-or-Simply-Misunderstood.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[Why do we jump to conclusions and assume that Islamo-Fascist decapitation of American civilians is bad?  Here are some of the many reasons why Muslim decapitation of non-Muslim civilians is a good and humane practice.]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Friday, 21 December 2007 10:34:06 GMT</pubDate>
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<item>
<title>You Might be a Yankee If...</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_2548_You-Might-be-a-Yankee-If.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[There've been hard feelings between Northerners and Southerners since 1861. Much of these sentiments have faded, but let's get real, not all of them.]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Wednesday, 5 December 2007 12:13:44 GMT</pubDate>
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<title>26 Ways To Repair America's Image!</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_2542_26-Ways-To-Repair-Americas-Image.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[Let's face it, as far as America's popularity around the globe goes, we're not doing so well right now. We should be brainstorming to come up with some jazzy ideas to get us back to being everyone's best bud!]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Friday, 30 November 2007 10:27:31 GMT</pubDate>
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<item>
<title>My Farked Up Life: Prisoner of The Cheers</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_2540_My-Farked-Up-Life-Prisoner-of-The-Cheers.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[I’m being kept in chains inside the cyber castle of The Cheers magazine. My editorial staff is throwing stones at me, one bigger than the other. They used to just call me bad names, but that all changed when I told them there’s no money for them anymore. ]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Saturday, 1 December 2007 03:01:04 GMT</pubDate>
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<item>
<title>' People Voting With their Feet! '</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_2362_-People-Voting-With-their-Feet-.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Wednesday, 27 June 2007 07:25:06 GMT</pubDate>
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<title>From First to Worst!</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_2354_From-First-to-Worst.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Wednesday, 20 June 2007 09:50:55 GMT</pubDate>
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<item>
<title>Huddled Around Some Laughs!</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_2335_Huddled-Around-Some-Laughs.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[This article is dedicated to much beloved bald guy: Tom Sobel! Get well soon buddy!]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Thursday, 24 May 2007 09:37:59 GMT</pubDate>
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<title>A Drink with the Candidates!</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_2301_A-Drink-with-the-Candidates.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[Standing at the bar watching them are a balding New Yorker, a Mormon, some Huckabuck, and one angry Vietnam vet. All are quite wary, as this is the first time they've been in the same room. Slowly, all notice: hanging behind the bar is a huge oil painting of Jeb Bush. It has a long moustache and big eyeglasses crudely drawn on it's face. Everybody smiles!]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Wednesday, 2 May 2007 08:13:06 GMT</pubDate>
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<item>
<title>How to change the world, one person at a time!</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_2281_How-to-change-the-world-one-person-at-a-time.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[(Or: Why should I say thanks?) (Or: Just sit your xenophobic butt down, and listen to reason!)
]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Wednesday, 25 April 2007 09:44:22 GMT</pubDate>
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<title>Get off My President’s Back!</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_2268_Get-off-My-Presidents-Back.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[Hey world, calm down some! Gosh, golly, gee, if we're all so terrible just put America on “hold” for awhile until we get a new leader. Dubya’s warranty runs out next year, and we’re replacing him just as fast as our constitutional processes allow. ]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Wednesday, 11 April 2007 07:44:55 GMT</pubDate>
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<item>
<title>Ephemera From Poor Lue!</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_2267_Ephemera-From-Poor-Lue.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Wednesday, 18 April 2007 09:10:43 GMT</pubDate>
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<title>Save Earth and Laugh Now!</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_2247_Save-Earth-and-Laugh-Now.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Wednesday, 4 April 2007 02:27:45 GMT</pubDate>
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<item>
<title>The Legendary Feel-Good Machine</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_2231_The-Legendary-Feel-Good-Machine.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[Here's my challenge: If you're not happy and want to be so, or if you're happy and want to take steps to remain so, or if you're not sure if you are as happy as you want to be . . . read on.  If you're not happy and don't care, stop reading this!  These ideas may threaten that miserable attitude you're possessed by now. Go away!]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Wednesday, 28 March 2007 08:00:02 GMT</pubDate>
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<title>When what was right, was wrong!</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_2221_When-what-was-right-was-wrong.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[I've made some mistakes in my life. Some real doozies! And you, kind reader, unless your name is Jesus, you have too. Acknowledging this, have the mistakes you made in the past helped you to avoid repeating them again?  We've all had some experiences where accelerating our learning curve made the real difference in succeeding at the goal in front of us. 
]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Wednesday, 21 March 2007 08:56:22 GMT</pubDate>
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<item>
<title>'Declare a REAL War...Or Get OFF the Pot!'</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_2203_Declare-a-REAL-WarOr-Get-OFF-the-Pot.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Wednesday, 14 March 2007 11:08:50 GMT</pubDate>
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<item>
<title>‘…and Uncle Sam cried!’ (A parade of heroes)</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_2183_and-Uncle-Sam-cried-A-parade-of-heroes.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Wednesday, 7 March 2007 07:47:19 GMT</pubDate>
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<title>Iraqis should vote U.S. Military In or Out!</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_2160_Iraqis-should-vote-US-Military-In-or-Out.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[OK, so America did well at nation building with South Korea, Japan, and Germany.  Nobody can take that away from us. America also did pretty well with Israel, Thailand and The Philippines. But, as far as Iraq goes...not so good!]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Tuesday, 27 February 2007 08:27:48 GMT</pubDate>
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<item>
<title>Poor Lue's Almanack Feb. 2007</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_2137_Poor-Lues-Almanack-Feb-2007.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[A compendium of information, entertainment and some words to the wise. The first part's true, the last part's Lue!]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Wednesday, 21 February 2007 12:56:19 GMT</pubDate>
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<item>
<title>What I know that you don’t!</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_2114_What-I-know-that-you-dont.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Wednesday, 14 February 2007 01:47:35 GMT</pubDate>
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<item>
<title>The Lie That Broke The Camel's Back!</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_2079_The-Lie-That-Broke-The-Camels-Back.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Wednesday, 7 February 2007 09:43:39 GMT</pubDate>
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<title>To Tickle...Or NOT To Tickle!</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_2045_To-TickleOr-NOT-To-Tickle.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[That’s my question! Do you hate to be tickled?  Some people do. I am not one of those people.  Do you like to tickle your lover? I do. It’s scientific name is : gargalesis!  ]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Wednesday, 24 January 2007 11:20:21 GMT</pubDate>
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<title>The Comics NO ONE Remembers</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_2030_The-Comics-NO-ONE-Remembers.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[After a good night at a comedy show, isn’t it amazing how hard you laughed then, but the next day, you can’t recall the name, or place the face? (Geez, that babe with the tight skirt? Or that guy with those red shoes? Or the guy in the robe that did that silly rap parody?) Those are the folks this weird treatise is all about.]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Monday, 18 December 2006 10:53:26 GMT</pubDate>
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<item>
<title>Cheer Up America!</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_2027_Cheer-Up-America.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[Gosh, with all the holiday blues going around, and with all of Uncle Sam's woes these days, it's become real easy to get down on ourselves lately.  But don't.  It's really not that bad for us.  Cheer up everybody!]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Wednesday, 13 December 2006 02:40:26 GMT</pubDate>
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<item>
<title>Laughin' with The Troops!</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_2022_Laughin-with-The-Troops.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[From Subic Bay in the Philippines, to a 2,000 seat arena on the Island of Diego Garcia in the Pacific Ocean, when I have been onstage doing comedy shows for our Armed Forces, I’ve known I had two things in common with them: the first was we were all proud Americans, the second was this far away, we all missed home!]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Monday, 4 December 2006 11:00:29 GMT</pubDate>
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<item>
<title>Wanna' Trade Your Citizenship For Mine?</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_2020_Wanna-Trade-Your-Citizenship-For-Mine.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[Wanna' Trade Your Citizenship For Mine? (Walk A Mile in My Red Shoes!) If you are a citizen of a country that's not America, I wish you well! I really do! It's too bad that I can't say the same for some of your governments.  
]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Monday, 27 November 2006 09:38:50 GMT</pubDate>
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<item>
<title>The Last HONEST Booking Agent (They're disappearing at an alarming rate!)</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_2019_The-Last-HONEST-Booking-Agent-Theyre-disappearing-at-an-alarming-rate.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[When one prostitutes oneself for laughs, i.e. taking money to perform in a plethora of cities and states and countries, face it, most stand-up comics need a pimp they can trust! ]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Tuesday, 21 November 2006 09:49:52 GMT</pubDate>
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<item>
<title>AMNESTY For Junior Bush!</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_2016_AMNESTY-For-Junior-Bush.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[Here’s an idea whose time may have come: Like the Christmas commercials running already, it could be too early to propose this, but…won’t you all consider some of that amnesty stuff for our disillusioned leader: Junior Bush?]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Monday, 13 November 2006 09:05:50 GMT</pubDate>
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<item>
<title>HELL'S CRUISE SHIP!</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_2012_HELLS-CRUISE-SHIP.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[If you can force your Freud, Jung, and Dr. Phil back in their closets for a moment, I’ve got a story to tell you. If you can’t, just ignore me, and go invade another country!]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Tuesday, 7 November 2006 08:53:32 GMT</pubDate>
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<item>
<title>My 100 Best Jokes from 2006!</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_2010_My-100-Best-Jokes-from-2006.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[With three hundred and sixty one days gone from 2006, it may be a good idea to retrace our steps to see how we've come to where we are. At least that's what I've been telling my goverment. Here are my 100 best jokes, chosen from the past ten months:]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Monday, 30 October 2006 02:14:06 GMT</pubDate>
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<item>
<title>Democrat's Pre-Nuptial Contract!</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_2005_Democrats-Pre-Nuptial-Contract.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Sunday, 22 October 2006 12:26:52 GMT</pubDate>
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<item>
<title>Jokes or Attitude?</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_2001_Jokes-or-Attitude.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[When you are laughing with a stand-up comedian, it may not make much difference to you whether the comic is a joke guy or an attitude guy. But for those on the way up the showbiz staircase, it could be the deciding factor between a three year career, or a great gig that may last decades.
]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Monday, 16 October 2006 01:05:37 GMT</pubDate>
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<item>
<title>We Shoulda Known About Ex-Congressman Foley!</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_1998_We-Shoulda-Known-About-Ex-Congressman-Foley.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Tuesday, 10 October 2006 10:21:14 GMT</pubDate>
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<item>
<title>Gov. Beefcake Rides Again!</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_1996_Gov-Beefcake-Rides-Again.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[The immigration problem in California is so bad, we've had to hire a temporary guest worker from Austria to govern our state! Is our star's brilliance dimming, or increasing?]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Tuesday, 3 October 2006 10:04:35 GMT</pubDate>
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<item>
<title>Lunatics at The UN</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_1991_Lunatics-at-The-UN.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[When England’s Prime Minister returned from his meeting with Hitler, Chamberlain waved a signed truce paper and declared to all: He had achieved “Peace in our times!…”  Poor Neville had not. And, since The League of Nations died its hapless death, World War Two started forthwith!]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Monday, 25 September 2006 10:44:58 GMT</pubDate>
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<item>
<title>Poor Lue’s Almanack 09/06</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_1983_Poor-Lues-Almanack-09-06.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Tuesday, 12 September 2006 11:32:25 GMT</pubDate>
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<item>
<title>The Evolution of a NEO-CON! ......or Please Come Back William F. Buckley, You Weren't THAT Bad!</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_1968_The-Evolution-of-a-NEO-CON-or-Please-Come-Back-William-F-Buckley-You-Werent-THAT-Bad.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[It's time to realize wackos escaped from the booby hatch are advising the C student that runs America and the free world. Where did they come from? Were they nurtured or nourished? Are they hard-wired? ]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Thursday, 24 August 2006 01:13:15 GMT</pubDate>
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<title>Why America laughs (so much!)</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_1967_Why-America-laughs-so-much.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Thursday, 24 August 2006 12:53:22 GMT</pubDate>
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<title>Attack and Jail ALL Ventriloquists!</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_1954_Attack-and-Jail-ALL-Ventriloquists.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Friday, 4 August 2006 08:37:35 GMT</pubDate>
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<item>
<title>The Sounds of Freedom</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_1951_The-Sounds-of-Freedom.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[There's one sound that represents freedom in America more than anything else to me...]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Monday, 31 July 2006 06:51:49 GMT</pubDate>
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<item>
<title>An Abel and Cain Re-Run.</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_1931_An-Abel-and-Cain-Re-Run.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Thursday, 27 July 2006 09:48:32 GMT</pubDate>
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<title>An Open Letter to North Korea</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_1925_An-Open-Letter-to-North-Korea.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Wednesday, 19 July 2006 09:16:51 GMT</pubDate>
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<item>
<title>Apotheosis of George Bush Jr. (Karl Rove's doing what?)</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_1917_Apotheosis-of-George-Bush-Jr-Karl-Roves-doing-what.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[The Grand Old Party and rabid Rush Limbaugh fans still have a surprise up their sleeves. Unlike their ill-fated attempts to get Ronnie Reagan on Mount Rushmore, this secret mission amounts to a unexpected foray into a previously unexplored area: ART!]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Tuesday, 11 July 2006 03:51:14 GMT</pubDate>
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<item>
<title>Why SO FEW Americans Vote!</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_1908_Why-SO-FEW-Americans-Vote.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[Everyday, somebody, somewhere starts bitching about the reasons so many Americans, possibly the most privileged citizens in this world, don’t vote! Herein lies one red shoed explanation.]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Monday, 3 July 2006 08:58:32 GMT</pubDate>
</item>
<item>
<title>Circus L.A. (Hey, you think your town is strange?)</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_1902_Circus-LA-Hey-you-think-your-town-is-strange.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[Welcome to Los Angeles, the weirdest show on Earth! Step right up...L.A.'s got what your looking for! We've got it all!  Step right up, don't be shy! The big show's just about to begin! Step right up!]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Tuesday, 27 June 2006 10:23:38 GMT</pubDate>
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<title>How To Stop The War in 5 Hard Steps (A Preemptive Peace Attack!)</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_1892_How-To-Stop-The-War-in-5-Hard-Steps-A-Preemptive-Peace-Attack.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[(If you want peace, read on. If you don’t want peace, then go away…Or go invade something…or go bomb somebody…just don’t read this.)]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Monday, 12 June 2006 11:23:07 GMT</pubDate>
</item>
<item>
<title>The Cop and The Comic! (I married a cop...what was I thinking??)</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_1883_The-Cop-and-The-Comic-I-married-a-copwhat-was-I-thinking.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[We met on a cruise ship.  No names please, but the ship was with a cruise line that rhymes with " Parnival! "]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Tuesday, 6 June 2006 11:35:59 GMT</pubDate>
</item>
<item>
<title>Ephemera from Poor Lue…June '06</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_1877_Ephemera-from-Poor-LueJune-06.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[John Donne said: “No man is an island, entire of itself…any man’s death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind…”]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Monday, 29 May 2006 08:21:57 GMT</pubDate>
</item>
<item>
<title>10 Most Irritating Things Women Do During Sex</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_1871_10-Most-Irritating-Things-Women-Do-During-Sex.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[I tried to ramp up for this list. Sadly, it wasn’t too much of a stretch. Most men might agree with me, but not out loud.

 
]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Monday, 22 May 2006 08:05:22 GMT</pubDate>
</item>
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<title>Poor Lue's Almanack April '06 (The first part's true, the last part's Lue)</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_1855_Poor-Lues-Almanack-April-06-The-first-parts-true-the-last-parts-Lue.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[(Take time to smell the flowers, before we're drenched by May showers. Here's some ephemera from the stream of conciousness that will always represent our America.  Keep your ears loose...Lue)]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Wednesday, 19 April 2006 10:26:50 GMT</pubDate>
</item>
<item>
<title>We’re all aliens, I’ve got the proof!</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_1832_Were-all-aliens-Ive-got-the-proof.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[Has anyone had any green alien sex? William Shatner claims he hasn’t, even though we have all seen him on Star Trek doing that thing. My buddy George here claims the same, he says that it was nothing but a grown up dog. Well, when he told me that I secretly wished it would have been an alien, at least it would sound sexy not like throw-up-if-ya-want. I did, and explained it with something I had eaten the week before. 
]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Saturday, 11 March 2006 10:26:39 GMT</pubDate>
</item>
<item>
<title>Theme Park</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_1616_Theme-Park.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[After revamping the look and feel of the magazine, it's time to take it to the next step.  All aboard!]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Friday, 24 June 2005 01:56:32 GMT</pubDate>
</item>
<item>
<title>An Open Letter to Gov. Beefcake</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_992_An-Open-Letter-to-Gov-Beefcake.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[An Open Letter to Gov. Beefcake]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Friday, 11 February 2005 11:29:33 GMT</pubDate>
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<item>
<title>Love Under the Big Top</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_981_Love-Under-the-Big-Top.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[When you are working as an entertainer, especially with a circus or other traveling show you are bound to hook up romantically with another performer once in awhile. Sometimes the only people you can even find to talk to are the folks in your production and you have no choice but to date another person in the biz.]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Friday, 4 February 2005 03:10:30 GMT</pubDate>
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<title>The Folly of Valentines Day</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_967_The-Folly-of-Valentines-Day.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[I won’t lie to you. I am not the best husband in the world. I am not the greatest guy around. I am extremely selfish and flawed.]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Sunday, 30 January 2005 06:41:33 GMT</pubDate>
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<title>Goodbye Mr. Carson!</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_952_Goodbye-Mr-Carson.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[In World War Two, a Dear John letter meant someone was getting kissed off. This is not that kind of letter, but it is a Dear John letter, and someone is getting kissed off. Other than that, it’s not that kind of letter. Today, when I woke up, I heard Johnny Carson had died. The Golden Age of Comedy has definitely ended!]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Monday, 24 January 2005 10:54:57 GMT</pubDate>
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<title>Opus IV: A New Hope</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_946_Opus-IV-A-New-Hope.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[You thought I forgot about you, didn’t you? You’ve been sitting in your fancy office reaping the benefits of another well-read cartoon strip. The sales are piling up and the checks from another best-selling compilation of your cartoons are pouring in once again. All this has gone on without a single peep from old Andy Martello. You have been living quite the happy-go-lucky and care-free existence these days, haven’t you, Berkeley Breathed?]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Sunday, 23 January 2005 05:52:22 GMT</pubDate>
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<title>THE JAE JOURNAL</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_937_THE-JAE-JOURNAL.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[Hello everyone. Welcome to the journal. This week I want to tell you about a little piece of my vacation. This occurred when we went to see the Price is Right being taped live before our eyes.]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Tuesday, 18 January 2005 05:13:22 GMT</pubDate>
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<title>Today I found out I’m gay</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_922_Today-I-found-out-Im-gay.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[Yesterday I went to a club with some good friends. We had some beers, lots of laughs,  talks about my really long nipples and by the end of the night I found out I was gay, as was my friend.]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Friday, 14 January 2005 01:00:06 GMT</pubDate>
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<title>The GRY Riddle</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_913_The-GRY-Riddle.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[At a friend’s house over the weekend, I was presented with a riddle. Normally, I am a fan of riddles and brain teasers. In the age of the internet, a person can send out a fun riddle to all of their friends at once. Over the years, a lot of my friends have felt the need to pass these on to me, usually including the advice to “Work like you don’t need the money, love like you’ve never been hurt, and dance like you do when nobody’s watching.” The only problem I have with this phrase is that I wouldn’t work very hard if I didn’t need the money, and people make fun of me every time I dance. I’ve been told that I look like a drunk, spastic stripper looking for her pole and some self-esteem. What can I say? I have really supportive and nonjudgmental friends.]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Monday, 10 January 2005 03:59:19 GMT</pubDate>
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<title>250 Versions of WHAT?</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_906_250-Versions-of-WHAT.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[Every man needs a hobby. My wife says all men need to putter. I’ve never given much credence to the hobby as a necessity but I am not without my time-wasters.]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Saturday, 8 January 2005 03:32:46 GMT</pubDate>
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<title>I AM A CLONE!</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_885_I-AM-A-CLONE.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[OK, I admit it I’m a clone!  And my girl friend is a robot!  Get over it! I know there’s some silly Primordial Directive against me revealing this, but again, get over it!  I’m telling you now because mankind is at a vital crossroads in it’s development, and Hey Earthlings: You’re blowing it!]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Saturday, 1 January 2005 12:32:34 GMT</pubDate>
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<title>Booby's:  The Christmas Miracle!</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_873_Boobys--The-Christmas-Miracle.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[Every family has their own set of traditions during the holidays. Some are long-standing rites of passage filled with meaning and sentiment. Others are just good silly fun. Around here we are not without our fair share of Christmas traditions.]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Sunday, 26 December 2004 08:40:41 GMT</pubDate>
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<title>THE JAE JOURNAL</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_869_THE-JAE-JOURNAL.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[Hello and Merry Christmas to all. I really have nothing to say for Christmas except for this…]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Wednesday, 22 December 2004 04:50:29 GMT</pubDate>
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<title>Technology can byte my arse</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_867_Technology-can-byte-my-arse.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[The technological age is upon us and the manufacturers of electronics are mastering the art of this engineering science. Hardly a day goes by that an electronic gadget doesn’t simplify or enhance a person’s life in some way. ATM machines have sped up the banking experience, cell phones have helped in times of emergencies, computers aid in obtaining information, and the list goes on. One day these marvellous gizmos will know what you need before you do.
]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Monday, 20 December 2004 07:06:43 GMT</pubDate>
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<title>Bah Humbug</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_866_Bah-Humbug.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[Christmas season is a wonderful time - a time when houses are being decorated with beautiful lights and are warmed by ovens which churn out delightfully baked goods. Televisions are tuned to holiday specials while the phone is kept busy making long distance calls to relatives. Children giggle with excitement as they speak of the fabled old elf and his bag of goodies. They press their noses against the window hoping to catch a glimpse of the jolly fat man and his magical sleigh. Christmas, according to children, never comes soon enough and never lasts long enough. Everything is right with the world...
]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Monday, 20 December 2004 07:02:16 GMT</pubDate>
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<title>Stopping Idiocy!</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_861_Stopping-Idiocy.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[In the course of human events, it has become necessary for one people to dissolve the bonds that restrain each from saying, “Stop that!”  I may have a lot of gall, but I hereby do accuse those addressed within this list and declare, “STOP THAT!”]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Sunday, 19 December 2004 12:32:42 GMT</pubDate>
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<title>Robbery Suspect: Old Fat Man in a Red Suit</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_859_Robbery-Suspect-Old-Fat-Man-in-a-Red-Suit.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[Not too long ago I told you a few reasons why I no longer take bookings as Santa Claus and I promised to reveal more as we came closer to Christmas. Well kids, I’m about to make good on my promise. ]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Saturday, 18 December 2004 04:20:07 GMT</pubDate>
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<title>Hot news: Naked burning shemale flew out the window</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_848_Hot-news-Naked-burning-shemale-flew-out-the-window.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[TIMBUKTU, Dec 13th  - Last night a car bomb exploded in front of the Timbuktu embassy in Chikata Rabula neighbourhood. No survivors, just meat. That's how this story could start. However, as journalists we can't always be glad enough to find real selling stories. But man has to do what man has to do. And when the magazine space needs filling, we will even tell you about the non-celebrity freak gossip. The following is one of them. Based on a true story. Of course. When before have journalists lied?]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Tuesday, 14 December 2004 05:04:49 GMT</pubDate>
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<title>THE JAE JOURNAL December 20, 2004</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_846_THE-JAE-JOURNAL-December-20-2004.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[Welcome to the Journal. Today we look at the 10 most fascinating people according to the little world of Barbara Walters and bring it down to the common level. I do believe that Ms. Walters is in no place to make these kinds of judgments on people since she is retiring. Therefore, I think I should take over the job. So here we go. ]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Tuesday, 14 December 2004 04:38:49 GMT</pubDate>
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<title>Another kodak moment</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_839_Another-kodak-moment.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[I was never going to be one of 'those' kind of parents.]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Tuesday, 23 November 2004 05:10:58 GMT</pubDate>
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<title>North Pole?  Bad Parents Make Santa Live in HELL!</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_832_North-Pole-Bad-Parents-Make-Santa-Live-in-HELL.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[As yet another Thanksgiving holiday arrives this week I find that I am becoming one of those people who marvels at how quickly the passage of time occurs.]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Sunday, 21 November 2004 11:15:36 GMT</pubDate>
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<title>New Sheriff in Town!</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_822_New-Sheriff-in-Town.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[Clump-ching, clump-ching, clump-ching, clump-ching, ching-ching! (We hear the sounds of boots with both spurs jangling coming right up to us)  Evenin Mam, (tips cowboy hat) Evenin everybody! Its time you should realize, and all yall should spread the word, theres a new SHERIFF in town!  (If I could get the whole world to watch one movie that is the scene to include!)]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Saturday, 20 November 2004 09:41:32 GMT</pubDate>
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<title>SANTA LIVES!</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_805_SANTA-LIVES.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[Having spent time with elves and St. Patricks Day leprechauns, its not a humongous leap for me to believe in Santa Claus! In the interest of full disclosure, I freely admit that over the years, I have debated and entertained concepts like: The Tooth Fairy, The Easter Bunny, and the grassy knoll! OK, I admit Ive waited in several pumpkin patches for something that didnt happen at all, and I have been taken on a Snipe Hunt! Once! What can I say? In my time, Ive even dallied with an imaginary friend or three, but which of us hasnt? Except for that crazy Siim guy in Estonia!]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Thursday, 11 November 2004 10:11:25 GMT</pubDate>
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<title>The State of the Union, Undressed.</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_800_The-State-of-the-Union-Undressed.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[More than just a recent trend, more than some abstract that applies to certain cultures or religious traditions, monogamy, it seems, is on the outs with the American people. ]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Monday, 8 November 2004 06:07:43 GMT</pubDate>
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<title>SEX MATTERS!</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_787_SEX-MATTERS.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[With the cornucopia of personal information available today, sex matters! Sex matters because it touches every human life on earth. Some people are touched by sex more than others. The lucky bastards! When was the last time you had some sex? We all remember that last time. Well, most of us do! Homo sapiens favorite pastime offers up some of its cute quirks in little jabs this week:]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Saturday, 6 November 2004 03:58:25 GMT</pubDate>
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<title>Bush to embark on new 'War on Death' after election</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_763_Bush-to-embark-on-new-War-on-Death-after-election.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[After further generalizing of his "big picture" and his convictions, Bush altered his campaign theme of "War on Terrorism" to a much more general and more appealing theme of "War on Death".]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Saturday, 30 October 2004 03:53:33 GMT</pubDate>
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<title>AMERICA IS OK!</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_761_AMERICA-IS-OK.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[Hi everybody!steadysteady!! Relax. Please, I want to thank you for taking a moment to listen to this new idea. Ive looked around. Ive checked as many facts as I could verify. All the data, plus this overriding feeling I sense in most of the people I see, leads me to just one, very simple conclusion: AMERICA IS OK!]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Saturday, 30 October 2004 02:40:41 GMT</pubDate>
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<title>Who Will Get MY Vote?</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_750_Who-Will-Get-MY-Vote.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Sunday, 24 October 2004 10:18:35 GMT</pubDate>
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<title>WANNA VOTE FOR U.S. PRESIDENT?</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_738_WANNA-VOTE-FOR-US-PRESIDENT.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[My American government doesnt want me to vote. My first votes were for Richard Nixon and Jimmy Carter! Ive felt bad about it ever since. These days, when I do vote, its usually just to spite them. Its occurred to me, many others might feel the same way. Our politicians quote our founding fathers often as advocating the exporting democracy! Following the example of any U.S. politician is a slippery slope at best, so I do so quite guardedly! (lol) Hey, I want to export some of that democracy stuff myself!]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Tuesday, 19 October 2004 03:45:45 GMT</pubDate>
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<title>Socially Responsible BOOBIES!</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_716_Socially-Responsible-BOOBIES.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Saturday, 9 October 2004 09:11:23 GMT</pubDate>
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<title>Light Of The Quasar: A Crash Course on Porn Films</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_711_Light-Of-The-Quasar-A-Crash-Course-on-Porn-Films.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Friday, 8 October 2004 10:17:38 GMT</pubDate>
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<title>DOLPH LUNDGREN FOR LUNCH</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_704_DOLPH-LUNDGREN-FOR-LUNCH.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Tuesday, 5 October 2004 04:37:41 GMT</pubDate>
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<title>Ravings of a Lunatic</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_703_Ravings-of-a-Lunatic.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Tuesday, 5 October 2004 04:36:35 GMT</pubDate>
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<title>IT comes with the turf!</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_693_IT-comes-with-the-turf.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[There are certain things that come with the turf you inhabit! Im a comedian, and most people wont take me seriously. Now, in the realm of laughs, This is NOT a bad thing, but try the feeling on for size when youre asking about a bank loan, or trying to register your car. Most of the time, all I can do is grin and bear it. ]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Wednesday, 29 September 2004 12:56:40 GMT</pubDate>
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<title>The Memo</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_690_The-Memo.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[We moved to the suburbs recently. One of those brand-new McMansioned, cul-de-sac'd, dropped-in-the-center-of-a-cornfield suburbs. ]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Tuesday, 28 September 2004 07:08:29 GMT</pubDate>
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<title>DARK HUMOR: Advice for Young Anorexics and Bulimics by Dr. Tina Dupres</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_684_DARK-HUMOR-Advice-for-Young-Anorexics-and-Bulimics-by-Dr-Tina-Dupres.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[Dr. Tina Dupres is best known for her expertise in the areas of anorexia and bulimia, especially in teens.  She has written three books on the subject, 1997s The Fat Girl in the Mirror:  A Study of Anorexia and Bulimia and 2001s Wasting Away:  Real Issues of Anorexia and Bulimia in Teenagers.  Her newest, and perhaps most controversial book, Anorexia and Bulimia: A Practical How-To Guide for Teens will be released in early 2005.  For more information, go to www.doctordupres.com.]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Friday, 18 April 2008 10:03:22 GMT</pubDate>
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<title>"This Land"</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_672_This-Land.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Monday, 20 September 2004 05:35:33 GMT</pubDate>
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<title>My Farked Up Life!</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_666_My-Farked-Up-Life.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[A really crazy story with no point and lots of nonsense. ]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Monday, 20 September 2004 05:19:33 GMT</pubDate>
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<title>A Jesus and a Queen and a Hip-Hop Scene</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_660_A-Jesus-and-a-Queen-and-a-Hip-Hop-Scene.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[Hip-hop isnt something that springs to mind when most people think of Britain. In fact to some outsiders it is perhaps puzzling as to how we manage to stir up the panache to really attack a mic, what with our preoccupation for tea drinking, stiff-upper-lipped-ness and a yearning desire for some world class dentistry to bless our wretched mouths. The Queen certainly despises the genre. How do I know this?]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Saturday, 18 September 2004 01:33:42 GMT</pubDate>
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<title>September Writing Prompts</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_651_September-Writing-Prompts.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[I am fairly oblivious to the many disturbing things a person must endure as a student of the writing craft. Thankfully Ive been fortunate enough to have both a wealth of things to write about AND a place willing to publish them. However after receiving a recent e-mail I count my blessings even more.]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Tuesday, 14 September 2004 07:32:37 GMT</pubDate>
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<title>Ten Reasons Why Conservatives Love George W. Bush</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_630_Ten-Reasons-Why-Conservatives-Love-George-W-Bush.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[A  satirical   and  humorous  look at  the  man  conservatives  dub  one of  the greatest   chief  executives  to  occupy  the  White House ]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Sunday, 5 September 2004 02:53:32 GMT</pubDate>
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<title>Fun With Ego-Surfing</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_618_Fun-With-Ego-Surfing.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Saturday, 21 August 2004 09:33:43 GMT</pubDate>
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<title>The Sum Of All Fears</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_581_The-Sum-Of-All-Fears.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[The other day whilst observing my two-year old sister running terrified from a large balloon that was bouncing playfully along the carpet toward her, it occurred to me that the whole concept of fears and phobias really is quite bizarre. Are they inherent? Or are they triggered by something? The thing that tends to intrigue about them is that they are often irrational. If you think about it, logically all kids should be scared to death of Father Christmas, or Santa if youd prefer. He drinks. He practically breaks into peoples houses. He likes the sensation of having kids on his lap, not to mentioning watching them while they sleep. He dresses in all red like some sort of overweight demon, and surely the fact that Santa is an anagram of Satan points to sinister forces at work. If thats not enough to provoke fear I dont know what is. But thats fear for you, often irrational.  ]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Monday, 26 July 2004 12:13:55 GMT</pubDate>
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<title>The Price is WRONG!</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_575_The-Price-is-WRONG.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[As an entertainer I encounter performers most everywhere I go. Clowns are a strange group, which Im sure you can surmise.]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Sunday, 25 July 2004 05:18:26 GMT</pubDate>
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<title>Light Of The Quasar: Comic Books Are Not Just For Kids!</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_561_Light-Of-The-Quasar-Comic-Books-Are-Not-Just-For-Kids.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Tuesday, 20 July 2004 08:48:43 GMT</pubDate>
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<title>The Ten Commandments According to Bill Bennett</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_540_The-Ten-Commandments-According-to-Bill-Bennett.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[A re-writing of the 10 Commandments Bill Bennett style following his revelations that he has a "gambling problem" This article was orignally printed in The Door. September/April 2003, reprinted in Glossy News.com, April 2, 2004
]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Monday, 12 July 2004 10:20:00 GMT</pubDate>
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<title>Bush's Credo: Words To Live By</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_539_Bushs-Credo-Words-To-Live-By.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[This short parody originally appeared in The Door. March/April 2001, reprinted in Glossy News. May 16, 2004]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Monday, 12 July 2004 10:15:01 GMT</pubDate>
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<title>Jackson vs. Sharpton - Ready to Rumble</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_538_Jackson-vs-Sharpton---Ready-to-Rumble.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[THE DNC PROUDLY PRESENTS
THE REV. JESSE ACTION JACKSON
VS.
THE REV. AL SHOWSTOPPER SHARPTON
THE RIGHTEOUS REVERENDS ARE READY TO RUMBLE!
LET THE BIBLE THUMPING BEGIN! 

This article was originally published in The Door. January/February 2002
]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Monday, 12 July 2004 10:12:21 GMT</pubDate>
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<title>Queer Eye for the Spiritual Guy</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_537_Queer-Eye-for-the-Spiritual-Guy.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[Five fictional fabulous queens are sent to make over the real life, Rt. Rev. Gene Robinson, a man, who became a lightning rod for international controversy, when he became the first openly gay bishop ordained in the Episcopal Church.]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Monday, 12 July 2004 09:04:44 GMT</pubDate>
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<title>My New Life as a Journalist</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_534_My-New-Life-as-a-Journalist.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[Ive spoken to therapists, victims of poor health care, lawyers and police spokesmen, public employees and politicians, and a vast number of people who have something they want to share with the rest of the world. Through me.]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Monday, 12 July 2004 05:09:15 GMT</pubDate>
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<title>You Gonna Eat That?</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_508_You-Gonna-Eat-That.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[Men are simple creatures, not unlike the animal that we are most often compared to, the dog. We eat. We sleep. We work. We play.]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Sunday, 4 July 2004 08:12:10 GMT</pubDate>
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<title>Light Of The Quasar: Providing Choice For Australian High School Graduates</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_502_Light-Of-The-Quasar-Providing-Choice-For-Australian-High-School-Graduates.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Saturday, 26 June 2004 05:52:53 GMT</pubDate>
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<title>A Losers Guide To Being Single</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_487_A-Losers-Guide-To-Being-Single.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[There is a certain pivotal point in every nerd's life when he realises that any efforts to run with a popular clique are futile, and so instead he settles into a comfortable state of nerdism and all it entails. ]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Monday, 21 June 2004 11:48:54 GMT</pubDate>
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<item>
<title>Bless and Bag Bambi!</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_466_Bless-and-Bag-Bambi.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[The Christian Sportsman Fellowship has joined forces with Disney. Effective immediately, they will be producing ESPN-2s Saturday morning outdoor sports programming block. We hope this new line up will give you more bang for your buck, as you will learn how to both bag and bless Bambi! ]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Friday, 18 June 2004 04:33:20 GMT</pubDate>
</item>
<item>
<title>Light Of The Quasar: What did John Titor know that we dont?</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_461_Light-Of-The-Quasar-What-did-John-Titor-know-that-we-dont.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[ John Titor (a.k.a. Timetravel_0) was a message poster in a few forums some years ago, and he had many different discussions about the future time he came from, being 2036]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Friday, 18 June 2004 08:16:58 GMT</pubDate>
</item>
<item>
<title>My Farked Up Life!</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_457_My-Farked-Up-Life.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[I feel lousy. I'm not sure what the reason for that might be exactly. But I guess being always the SECOND one has its part in it. Second in everything, maybe even third. Things like waking up in the morning  I never do it as the first person, as I'm just too afraid of waking everyone else up. 

]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Thursday, 17 June 2004 03:43:51 GMT</pubDate>
</item>
<item>
<title>Father's Day My Ass!</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_446_Fathers-Day-My-Ass.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[Fathers Day is a day dedicated to celebrating fatherhood. It is the one special day out of the year when children & moms show their everlasting love, devotion, and appreciation for the dads in their lives. ]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Wednesday, 16 June 2004 05:36:47 GMT</pubDate>
</item>
<item>
<title>American Bull Riding</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_429_American-Bull-Riding.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[Even though I spent a good amount of my childhood in Texas, Ive never been interested in the sports that are practiced in the American Rodeo. ]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Monday, 14 June 2004 04:04:02 GMT</pubDate>
</item>
<item>
<title>My Farked Up Life!</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_421_My-Farked-Up-Life.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Wednesday, 9 June 2004 06:13:38 GMT</pubDate>
</item>
<item>
<title>A Write of Passage</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_416_A-Write-of-Passage.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Tuesday, 8 June 2004 07:46:17 GMT</pubDate>
</item>
<item>
<title>Light Of The Quasar: Loneliness</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_393_Light-Of-The-Quasar-Loneliness.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[Light Of The Quasar is the creation of an Australian columnist who is willing to talk about anything and everything.]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Thursday, 3 June 2004 04:27:14 GMT</pubDate>
</item>
<item>
<title>My Farked Up Life!</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_388_My-Farked-Up-Life.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Thursday, 3 June 2004 12:14:44 GMT</pubDate>
</item>
<item>
<title>My Farked Up Life!</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_368_My-Farked-Up-Life.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Thursday, 27 May 2004 07:19:24 GMT</pubDate>
</item>
<item>
<title>Need an Education?  Kentucky Wants to Help!</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_358_Need-an-Education-Kentucky-Wants-to-Help.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Tuesday, 25 May 2004 06:12:48 GMT</pubDate>
</item>
<item>
<title>My Farked up life!</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_326_My-Farked-up-life.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Monday, 17 May 2004 10:55:02 GMT</pubDate>
</item>
<item>
<title>Opus II, The Penguin Hunt Continues</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_323_Opus-II-The-Penguin-Hunt-Continues.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Friday, 21 May 2004 10:56:24 GMT</pubDate>
</item>
<item>
<title>The Evolution of a Michael Jackson Joke</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_295_The-Evolution-of-a-Michael-Jackson-Joke.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Friday, 21 May 2004 10:38:13 GMT</pubDate>
</item>
<item>
<title>Ask the Professor</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_281_Ask-the-Professor.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Sunday, 25 April 2004 09:25:18 GMT</pubDate>
</item>
<item>
<title>Job App: Comic</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_246_Job-App-Comic.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[What happens when a comic thinks he's really funny?  Can he get a job?]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Tuesday, 13 April 2004 09:34:25 GMT</pubDate>
</item>
<item>
<title>I've Got Your Controversy RIGHT HERE!</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_244_Ive-Got-Your-Controversy-RIGHT-HERE.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[Being a writer for an online publication I really have no idea who is reading my work or the other fine articles represented in The Cheers. I am not an administrator and do not have access to the web stats so aside from a few e-mails from my new found fans, I can only look at the comments and ratings sections to learn about what appeals to the readers. Based on these factors I am pleased with the responses to my work and hope to improve with each passing week. ]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Sunday, 11 April 2004 03:02:55 GMT</pubDate>
</item>
<item>
<title>Ask the Professor</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_230_Ask-the-Professor.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Tuesday, 6 April 2004 02:39:04 GMT</pubDate>
</item>
<item>
<title>Samson</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_226_Samson.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[ ]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Friday, 9 April 2004 05:19:35 GMT</pubDate>
</item>
<item>
<title>Job App: Senior Pastor</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_206_Job-App-Senior-Pastor.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[  ]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Sunday, 28 March 2004 11:07:28 GMT</pubDate>
</item>
<item>
<title>And The Winner Is...</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_194_And-The-Winner-Is.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[While writing Id Like to ThankNobody for this weeks edition I began thinking about the awards Id received over the years. I still have my Outstanding Senior Choir Member trophy from 1988. Buried in my closet sits a medal from my Cub Scout days. Im sure I have every prize ever bestowed upon me. It made me think about a GREAT career choice out there, a job where you know your work makes a differenceTROPHY MAKER!]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Friday, 26 March 2004 05:12:24 GMT</pubDate>
</item>
<item>
<title>Ask the Professor</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_179_Ask-the-Professor.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[Why are so many baseball players using steroids?]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Sunday, 21 March 2004 09:30:08 GMT</pubDate>
</item>
<item>
<title>My Own Little Opus</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_171_My-Own-Little-Opus.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[As this marks the end of my first month at The Cheers I feel as though I may just like this whole journalist/columnist/opinionated jerk thing.  I enjoy writing and sharing my stories and ideas with a large audience.  While I cannot say for sure just how many people are reading my work and how it is being received, I can say that the few comments and e-mails Ive received has made me think that it is time for me to start pushing the envelope a little bit.  I need a little more from the entire experience.  I need acceptance.]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Saturday, 20 March 2004 05:27:08 GMT</pubDate>
</item>
<item>
<title>Job App: Structural Engineer</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_138_Job-App-Structural-Engineer.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[If your money printing bid'ness fell through, would you try engineering?]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Monday, 15 March 2004 10:34:53 GMT</pubDate>
</item>
<item>
<title>Rubber Ain't Just for Juggling Balls</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_126_Rubber-Aint-Just-for-Juggling-Balls.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[As an entertainer, I have been asked to work some rather unusual events. This is a story about the one that got away. I didnt turn down the gig. The client revoked their request for my services because my booking policies were unreasonable.]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Tuesday, 9 March 2004 12:45:38 GMT</pubDate>
</item>
<item>
<title>Ask the Professor</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_115_Ask-the-Professor.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[I've been feeling like I really should see the movie The Passion of the Christ, but I just don't want to.  This movie is such a phenomenon. I'm afraid I'm missing something important, and later I'll regret having missed it in the theaters.  Should I go to it?]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Tuesday, 9 March 2004 02:14:45 GMT</pubDate>
</item>
<item>
<title>Curses!  Cubs Again</title>
<link>http://www.thecheers.org/article_112_Curses-Cubs-Again.html</link>
<description><![CDATA[Recently, here in Chicago, a big to do was made about the destruction of the now infamous Bartman Baseball. For those who are unfamiliar with this relic, it is the foul ball that was blamed for causing the Cubs to lose the National League Championship Series last year.]]></description>
<author></author>
<pubDate>Tuesday, 9 March 2004 02:46:35 GMT</pubDate>
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