ONCE YOU'VE BEEN LOVED

Up until the last two years my oldest and dear friend who was 89 years old was my source of inspiration and wisdom. She was widowed for twelve years and made it clear she would never marry again. This position in life seems to be popular among many widows. I have been widowed for twenty years. Marriage was something I enjoyed for it allowed me to build a foundation to live upon while I faced the world with its challenges. But why was I not married and so many other widows? Because many widows and widowers know the chances of being loved again are slim or nearly impossible.

How did we end up so alienated from one another? Many of us will leave this world without a true partner and soul mate, because love has become difficult to embrace. For sure if you have ever been loved, you know when you have been shortchanged. How can a widow or a widower ignore the reality that though someone is kind and wants to be with you that this does not mean he or she loves you? It can't be ignored because love is something that can't be denied. It has a power of its own that touches your heart in the presence of the one who loves you. To accept kindness as love has costs many people grief.
Love today is not the love I remember. Love cares about your feelings, desires and that which makes you smile. It is a selfless sharing that allows the other person to be energized, lifted up to a state of fulfillment. With this love, you want to do great things for mankind. It is not something you just share in your home you go out into the world to bring light and hope to a world lacking in the beauty of love. Today, love means I will tolerate or be with this person because it makes my life easier and less lonely. It is not about keeping the one you love strong and encouraged.

Love has the spirit of appreciation. You can't do enough for one another through the hard and good times. If you have to question whether someone loves you, chances are they do not love you. They just care enough about you to get their needs met leaving you needing more than they care to give. This is not the best relationship you can have. Many people live in the same house with their spouses and are very alone. This is not love it is convenience and you are cheating yourself. You deserve more than that. You deserve to be adored, caressed, wanted and enjoyed by your companion.
Sometimes, love is not enough. Being in love with the one you love stimulates action. Love grounds but being in love specializes the union. This brings the magic and splendor that motivates couples to be physically conscious of one another. You just don't forget the twinkle in each others' eyes making love ageless and welcoming. And this earthly bonding makes it easy to not desire any other. My 89 year old friend, Mrs. Bass loved her husband and he loved her. I still see that twinkle in their eyes when they would talk to one another. Their love was strong and filled with much playing. His love carried on even in his death as he made sure she would not want for anything while he was gone. Her head was always held high and she was always at peace. When she would mention Mr. Bass, a glow would fill the room especially when she said no one today compares to the love Bass gave me. He just wanted me to be happy.

Being alone for many proves to be the best state to live in today because once you've been loved, you know when you have been shortchanged. Sad to say, many have not been genuinely love to know the difference. To you I say, be aware of your feelings. They are crying and talking to you for a reason. Don't fool yourself. If you do, you will remain lost.