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I won’t lie to you. I am not the best husband in the world. I am not the greatest guy around. I am extremely selfish and flawed.

I try very hard to be a better man both for myself and for my wife. Some days are better than others, but for the most part I am an alright person.

When February rolls around I am reminded of how good I have it when it comes to my wife, April. Don’t get me wrong, she is not perfect either, but she makes a few things extremely more comfortable for me. These things tend make me the envy of many a man.

Long before we were married I was informed that if I EVER wanted to flat-out lose my lady love, all I had to do was acknowledge the most awful of fake holidays, Valentine’s Day.



I am simply not allowed to buy a present for her on that day. No velvet boxes,no pretty jewelry, not a single piece of chocolate, not one cuddly stuffed animal, not even a card imprinted with some corporation’s verbalization of how I love my wife is allowed to be brought into our home. THIS, is one cool lady and one easy to follow policy!

I know what the men are thinking. Those not hoping I’m getting a divorce or wondering if April has a single sister are convinced this is part of some “woman trick”.

Men have fallen victims to these sorts of ploys before. We get TOLD that we’re not expected to “do anything special” for Valentine’s Day. When we do NOTHING we end up sleeping alone in the garage for a week. Sometimes we do SOMETHING, just not “something special,” and we get the mildly hurt expression and the, “That’s OK. I love it…really,” response. We all know that response means we failed the test. Believe me, guys, I have been there. I feel your pain.

I thought I was being set up for failure the first time April and I approached a Valentine’s Day. I was pretty sure she meant what she said, but a big part of me was panicking inside. I humored thoughts of having a go-to safety gift waiting in the wings, JUST IN CASE! If it was indeed true that Valentine’s Day meant nothing to her I could save the gift for a birthday, an anniversary, or better yet, the “no particular occasion gift”. Those gifts always score big points! If the no Valentine’s gift concept was all a clever plot to trap me I’d have a great, “A-HA!” moment and save the day with a pretty package. Instead, I did nothing. I had no present-parachute to save my life. As luck would have it, I survived the day.



April truly hates Valentine’s Day and all it represents. This is a girl that otherwise LOVES presents, chocolates, and gifts of all kinds. Associate any of those things with Valentine’s Day and she will have nothing to do with them.

All men hate Valentine’s Day and the unnecessary pressure put upon us to perform properly. If you are neither dating nor married, you hate it because of the awful implied loser image associated with being “alone.”

Being with April has been a real eye-opening experience for me.