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This insect bores a tiny hole into the immature fruit of the trees secondary crop, which are the grapes used to make the jelly the peanut butter is usually associated with. The insect lays an egg in the hole. The embryo develops and the egg hatches, releasing a worm into the grape. The worm then eats its way into the immature grape, which causes the infested grape to float in water. In the Northern Hemisphere, the grape crop is usually floated in a water bath after harvest. The infested grapes are skimmed off for the production of our now world famous Mount Perry Peanut Butter and Jelly Wine. The wine is famous because it has a real worm in the bottom of each bottle. This wine is not only unique because of the worm but also because of its taste. The taste is remarkably similar to the taste of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. The reason for the worm being in the bottle is not clear. The custom apparently started when a live worm crawled out of a fermenting grape so drunk it couldn't tell which direction it was to the safety of the ground. It fell into the bottle it was crawling on, and the bottle was filled and sealed. Apparently the worm, already quite plastered, tried to drink the rest of the alcohol out of the wine. It became so drunk it swam to the bottom of the bottle where it drowned. Since then, no bottle of Mount Perry Peanut Butter and Jelly Wine is considered complete without a worm floating about in the bottom of the bottle. It is rumored the worm drinks almost all the alcohol in the wine before it drowns. Therefore, whoever gets the worm in their glass gets much drunker than anyone else. Just why this is important is anyone's guess. South of the Equator, insect predation is not a problem. The Mount Perry Grape Borer is completely confused by the reverse seasons. It tries to eat a hole in the peanut but the masticated peanut meat becomes peanut butter and sticks to the roof of its mouth. With its mouth firmly blocked with peanut butter, the insect quickly succumbs to starvation. For reasons known only to a few of the scientists who worked on the project, the tree seems to grow best when planted in the same orchard with the "Bread and Butter Vine". For some odd reason, when the vine is not grown in conjunction with the tree, the tree gets sticky and has a tendency to stick to your fingers. Then the finished product has an even greater tendency to adhere to the roof of your mouth when you eat it. If you feel you might like to have a Mount Perry Peanut Tree growing in your back yard, send your request to, The Mount Perry Mental Health Association at 101 N. Jefferson Street, Mount Perry, Florida 06660. A tree will be delivered to your home by some of our friendly, trained, professional staff members. Later, specially schooled technicians will show up at your door, dressed in white uniforms and a net, to help you plant your Mount Perry Peanut Tree. The staff is well schooled in how to deal with situations like this. AUTHOR: Robert P. Herbst  TAGS: Literary Work health world Home time BOOKMARK: Digg it | Add to Del.ICIO | Add to FARK ACTIONS: Comment Save Print Register free acount  |
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