Over the next two weeks my partner and I took on the bulk of organizing a cremation and memorial for mum. I had no idea there were so many details to consider: funeral director, celebrant, flowers, speakers, venue, memorabilia, photographs, music, slide show, cremation, the wake and remembrance bookmarks for attendees. And that was only the beginning. There are mountains of your loved ones paperwork to sort out – bills to be paid, accounts to be cancelled or changed, companies and friends to inform of the death, assets to list and take action against, death certificates, funeral director payment and application for Pro Bate - “a judicial certificate saying that a will is genuine and conferring on the executors the power to administer the estate.” (www.ask.com)

Even after the memorial service and the wake I found myself spending much time taking care of my family, mum’s friends and her affairs with the assistance of her executor. Now I have returned to London, an angry, confused adult orphan. Apparently I am supposed to get on with my life – go to work, live life for her, do what would make her proud and so on. But even with all the love and support of my friends and family, I have lost my closest friend, my mum and the person I hold dearest in my heart. What can make me forget that? Or move past that?

I do take solace in something she used to tell me, however. “At the end of person’s life, their body should be thoroughly used up and worn out, we should all arrive at the pearly gates with a glass of wine in one had, a big slice of chocolate cake in the other and a cigarette in mouth saying ‘what a ride!’”

       Mum on the day she died

(13.08.1957 – 15.02.2007)

        I Love you Mum.