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Firstly, why not let all the players take turns in the World Series? That wouldn't be a crime. It's a really simple way to let everyone have a chance. This way no one would be a LOSER and everyone would be a WINNER. Doesn't that feel good?

And with winning cast aside, baseball could shift to the next higher plane -- one of being nice.

Marty, it is time for us to take things up a notch. Just imagine how wonderful a day at the ball park could be. (I hope I'm not moving too fast for you, Marty.)

No more knots in your stomach from wondering if your team can pull off a win today. No more emotional rollercoasters as the score seesaws back and forth between the teams. No more edge-of-your-seat moments where you swear you'll cram a hot dog down the throat of the next person who walks in front of you.

Instead, each game would bring together a huddled mass of humanity connecting at a deep level of community, a neighborhood of baseball love. We fans would just bask in the glow of "being together," while the guys on the diamond hit the rubber core around for fun in a spirit of cooperation and comraderieship.

It would be a really, really nice time.

Really.

And it will only take two simple changes to make this vision a reality.

Firstly, the rules need to change so that a player's actions only count if they are accompanied by kind thoughts. For example, if a pitcher throws a strike while thinking, "Oh, dear, I hope that wasn't too fast," then the strike would count. However, if his thoughts are "Hey, Ugly -- I'm taking you down!", the strike would be changed to a ball.