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-	Confessions of an Ad-man XII: Consumers in Search of Service
-	Confessions of an Ad-man XI: More Dueling With Mother Nature
-	Confessions of an Ad-Man X
-	Confessions of an Ad-Man IX
-	Confessions of an Ad-Man VII: Commercial ends up in the air instead of on the air

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To make a long story short, they printed the flyer. Roger was a decent guy. He just couldn’t get the hang of not making customers feel like second class citizens.

I can hear you saying, “Yes, but most people don’t have bunches of flyers printed so how is that all relevant, except to people in advertising?” Okay, fair comment. Let’s talk retail. A couple of weeks ago, my neighborhood supermarket had chicken breasts on sale. Here’s the conversation:

“Uh, excuse me?”

“Yes sir, how can I help you?”

“Well last time I bought these chicken breasts on sale, when I opened the box, they were all stuck together in a solid lump. It says on the box, ‘individually frozen’.”

“No problem sir.”

“No problem?”

“Just throw them on the basement floor.”

“Oh, I see. Just take these individually frozen, boneless, skinless, lightly seasoned chicken breasts and throw them on my basement floor?”

“Yes sir. Works every time.”

“Well, you see, instead of throwing them on the floor, I’d like to be able to reach into the box and pull out a couple, or if my son is going to be home for dinner, maybe seven or eight. But aside from that, doesn’t the fact that they have become a solid lump when they were individually frozen, doesn’t that mean that they have thawed out and then been frozen again? I’ve heard nasty rumors to the effect that you can get food poisoning from chicken that has been thawed and refrozen, depending on how long it was thawed and how old it is now.”

“We have no control over that. It happens in the warehouse.”

“Oh, good. Then I guess it’s okay. Don’t want to upset the warehouse staff by forcing them to keep the frozen food frozen. Say, would you mind opening the box and just checking to see that they aren’t one solid lump?” (I know better than to open the box myself. The last time I was thrown against the wall and strip-searched by the retired policeman who looks after store security.)

“Be glad to sir.” She then opened the box, pulled out several and showed them to me, holding them under my nose, in her ungloved hands and said. “See? No problem.”

I left, gratified, knowing that I wouldn’t have to throw them on the basement floor. I did wash them in a lot of hot water though.

The ad agency came up with the words, “Individually frozen, boneless, skinless, lightly seasoned chicken breasts.” Probably cost the supermarket chain several thou. The ten dollar an hour freezer lady was telling people to throw them on the floor.

“When Faith Popcorn, in her book, “The Popcorn Report” talked about militant consumerism, I thought she was over-reacting.

Sorry Faith.