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As he went off I realised this wasn’t a nice juicy steak but a bloody cow’s tongue. Yuk! My colleague tucked into the lot, ate the remainder of mine as I just polished off my chips, a few bottles of beer and some ice cream.

Okay, that doesn’t sound too bad - a cow’s tongue - maybe you’ve tried it and loved it, but once I realised what it was and started to examine the texture by scraping all the sauce off the top, I could see those ‘lumpy-dimples’ you have on your tongue, in fact I thought for one split second it started to wiggle as I rapidly went off wanting to eat anymore of it.

As we ‘retired’ for the evening and went back to our rooms, I couldn’t settle, not so much the thought of eating something I found partially disgusting, but because I was still hungry. So I got dressed and went out to look for some take-away joint. Low and behold, around the corner was a McDonalds. Ahh! Big Mac, (probably made with cow’s tongue), but boy was that tasty.

I think I managed to persuade my colleague to eat there only once, he knew the relevance of eating cheap to pocket some cash, but wasn’t into it as extravagantly as I was.

The only other tasty highlight of my visit to Belgium was an Italian restaurant we were taken to one night. Call me boring and predictable, but if it’s an Italian, then I’ll be eating a pizza. I always have and always will. In fact in my youth I once went out to an Italian restaurant and ordered two of the same pizzas stacked on top of each other. I was told I’d never eat it all and for the next hour or so most of the staff kept coming over to see if I’d either choked, exploded, had a heart attack, or had actually managed to consume it. The phone behind the bar kept ringing all the time, the waiters answering it looking over at me. I swear they were taking bets with the local bookmakers or something.

Did I finish it? Actually no, I left about one triangle, and as much as I wanted to prove everyone wrong, I just couldn’t finish it.

I just love pizzas and decided one night that it would be my own personal task to attempt to eat a pizza in every country I’d visit. That would be my one item of luxury to consume; the burgers would assist me in my money-pocketing practise.

So that’s Belgium for you. Well it probably isn’t Belgium at all, but I’m sorry, it was just too dull for me. Even the other two trips I made there left no significant memories.

Please though, refrain from ignoring my articles thinking every country I describe will revolve around eating pizza’s and burgers. They won’t, well not too much. It does get better, assuming you like kidnap stories, near plane crashes, mistaken identity, South American soccer violence, Far Eastern sex bars, and potential global thermo-nuclear war! It’s all to come.