More from author
-	Confessions of an Ad-man XII: Consumers in Search of Service
-	Confessions of an Ad-man XI: More Dueling With Mother Nature
-	Confessions of an Ad-Man X
-	Confessions of an Ad-Man IX
-	Confessions of an Ad-Man VII: Commercial ends up in the air instead of on the air

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I liked him already.

“You’ll be wearing a chef’s hat and preparing chicken. You’ll talk about the high quality of your chicken and that it’s locally grown. Just as you are ready to pop it in the oven, a live chicken will run across the table. You’ll give the camera a shocked look and then turn to look in the direction the chicken has exited and shrug your shoulders. Freeze frame . . . squeeze zoom logo to bottom of screen . . . fade to black.” Then he sat back smugly and waited for a reaction.

“There’s just one problem,” said Phil. “All the research I’ve read indicates people are uncomfortable seeing live animals in food commercials.” There was a heavy silence.

“Oh, that old myth,” said the other eastern writer.

“Let’s have some more wine,” said my boss.

“What do you think?” asked Arlen. More silence. With a horrible sinking feeling I realized he was talking to me.

“I’m just a suit. I don’t think. It’s not what I do.” I took a huge gulp of my wine and tried to become inconspicuous.

Arlen wasn’t letting me off the hook. “You’ve been very quiet this evening and I want to know what you think.” My boss gave me a sign of encouragement.

“Okay, I think it’s a dumb idea. I like the personalization strategy but most business people make lousy television announcers. I’d sooner show you chatting with customers in different departments of the store while a voice over personalizes the company verbally . . . and professionally.”

“Oh spare me,” said one of the stars.

“We thought of that,” said the other.

I watched my career begin turning into a little pile of dust to be swept away by the night cleaners.

“Let’s leave it there,” said Arlen, rising from his chair. “I’ll be in touch.”

The meeting in my boss’s office the next day was frosty. Just as he was getting to the I-may-very-well-be-doing-you-a-favor-by-firing-you part, the receptionist walked in. “Phil Arlen is on the phone.”

The conversation was brief, with my boss mostly listening. He smiled at me after he hung up. “And as I was about to say, I want you and everyone else in this agency to feel free to speak your minds at any time. We have a lunch meeting with Arlen. Just you, me and him. He’d like you to put the campaign together.”

Honesty sometimes works. Even in the ad game.